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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

If your partner posted this on Facebook?

130 replies

HaventCriedThisMuchForYears · 21/10/2020 13:31

This

OP posts:
ArabellaScott · 21/10/2020 18:57

"Mumchan" Grin

I'm one of the few that just can't really get that worked up about a weak, slightly naff joke. My partner wouldn't post something like this, but it doesn't seem that bad to me.

Notverybright · 21/10/2020 19:06

I find the men who like this stuff pathetic, I find the women who like this stuff pathetic.
Is there a female equivalent of the ‘kick you in the cunt’ post, I doubt it. There always seems to be an undercurrent of violence with men like this, isn’t there?

Morgana7 · 21/10/2020 19:08

I would think he was pathetic. It’s something the characters on The Inbetweeners would do (and they are meant to be utter losers)

HecatesCats · 21/10/2020 19:10

How am I supposed to ever believe I’m attractive to him again?

🤔

Slave2love · 21/10/2020 19:22

Immature twat. I'd get rid.

decoraters · 21/10/2020 19:26

The thing is OP, you have posted this in Feminism so you must know there is much more to it than him finding you attractive. What possible reason could you have for thinking that, of all the things you could see wrong about it?

EvenSupposing · 21/10/2020 19:30

@ArabellaScott

"Mumchan" Grin

I'm one of the few that just can't really get that worked up about a weak, slightly naff joke. My partner wouldn't post something like this, but it doesn't seem that bad to me.

And you'd be happy if your long term sexual partner was in this group?
DidoLamenting · 21/10/2020 19:44

@thinkingaboutLangCleg

I'd be most concerned about Be happy, or I'll kick your cunt in. I would not live with someone who thought threatening violence to women was a joke.

I realise someone else originally posted that picture, but your partner is passing it on. It doesn't matter how much you think he wouldn't do it. It's that he thinks it's funny. Because injuring women is so funny.

Neither my husband nor I use social media but in the unlikely event he did and posted pictures 1 and 3 I'd roll my eyes but it wouldn't be the end of the world. They are funny- they are In Betweener level funny but the humour is obvious.

The second one is a different league.

CrazyToast · 21/10/2020 19:59

I once met a seemingly lovely guy, attentive and seemed sensitive and respectufl, then I looked at his facebook. It was full of 'funny' or pervy misogynistic memes about women being two-faced, weak, stupid. Almost every other thing he posted was having a go at women.

It was like a window into his mind.

Rainbowllama4 · 21/10/2020 20:00

Yuck. I had an ex who was part of a work WhatsApp group, they would constantly send each other shit like this and much worse, memes slating women, memes taking the piss out of women, porn. The last straw was when I caught him looking at a 30 second montage of an assortment of vaginas, he was sitting there with a drunken leery grin on his face, I should also add this was between courses on Christmas Day with family present. We were over by New Year. I would rather be single.

Also, I’m not interested in pictures of firemen with their muscles out holding puppies, that gives me the ick too.

Dump the idiot.

ArabellaScott · 21/10/2020 20:52

And you'd be happy if your long term sexual partner was in this group?

No, I wouldn't be happy with/attracted to that type of person.

EvenSupposing · 21/10/2020 21:01

@ArabellaScott

And you'd be happy if your long term sexual partner was in this group?

No, I wouldn't be happy with/attracted to that type of person.

Well I think that is what most people here are saying Smile
ArabellaScott · 21/10/2020 21:48

Fair enough!

Antibles · 21/10/2020 23:13

Urgh. He's a puerile misogynist dickhead OP. That second picture is actually worryingly nasty. He doesn't like women.

Men's gleeful enjoyment at objectifying and dehumanising women just leaps out of this sort of thing and that's what our gut responds to. Women not being admired respectfully but deliberately reduced from people to mere wank fodder. People who genuinely like you don't do that sort of thing to you.

Let me guess: you will have a row about this and you will tell him how upset you are and he will totally invalidate your feelings by telling you you are overreacting or don't have a sense of humour or are wrong to try and control him. This will be classic gaslighting.

But your feelings are valid. Don't waste your energy arguing about it, you don't need validation from him.

Just tell him to go and have a wank over his charming pictures because that's all the action he's going to be getting from you.

HaventCriedThisMuchForYears · 21/10/2020 23:36

He didn’t actually share the second pic but it was also posted on the Facebook group.

I did report the post he shared to Facebook, initially they refused to remove it but I’ve just checked again and it’s now gone along with the disgusting comments - how bizarre, did they have second thoughts maybe?

I honestly can’t believe these Facebook groups exist and people post this crap for the whole world to see 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
timeisnotaline · 21/10/2020 23:46

You don’t have to find him attractive op. He’s intentionally doing stuff that he knows will upset you, feel free to say good luck pulling someone who looks like that pic because I sure don’t want to touch you, or look at you.

GreenClock · 22/10/2020 00:04

Awful. The middle one was particularly vile, with the reference to violence. I don’t think the woman in the first one knew she was being photographed - how creepy.

I’d be disappointed by this OP.

goisey · 22/10/2020 00:20

I wouldn't like someone like this in my life.

StrangeLookingParasite · 22/10/2020 00:48

I looked at the first one and just thought, wow, how beautiful is she, wish I looked like that.

pinkyredrose · 22/10/2020 09:43

looked at the first one and just thought, wow, how beautiful is she, wish I looked like that

Are you quite young?

SunsetBeetch · 22/10/2020 10:02

So your husband is part of, and posts in, a group called 'Dirty rotten quackers adult group' which is full of 'You won't notice thos about this photo because BREASTS! PHWOAR!" And these are grown men.

Ick. You have ever right to be upset and feel insecure.

SunsetBeetch · 22/10/2020 10:06

@SunsetBeetch

So your husband is part of, and posts in, a group called 'Dirty rotten quackers adult group' which is full of 'You won't notice thos about this photo because BREASTS! PHWOAR!" And these are grown men.

Ick. You have ever right to be upset and feel insecure.

I mean it's understandable if you it's made you feel insecure in yourself and your relationship, not that you should.
SunsetBeetch · 22/10/2020 10:09

@WingingItSince1973

Yes its bad taste but I see the reverse pop up on Facebook. Half naked muscle man holding a puppy or some other thing. Same sort of 'humour'. No one seems to think that's bad x
I do. It makes me cringe.
RadandMad · 22/10/2020 10:19

If my partner posted that, he'd be my ex-partner pretty quickly. Sexist and childish.

BoudiccasBoudoir · 22/10/2020 11:02

I might be able to let the straw post pass, but not the group he's a part of. Posting something immature and a bit sexist (on par with the equivalent objectivisation of sexy men posts) is massively different than the rest of the group, the violence etc.