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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

If your partner posted this on Facebook?

130 replies

HaventCriedThisMuchForYears · 21/10/2020 13:31

This

OP posts:
TeeBee · 21/10/2020 16:51

He posts that and you're concerned about YOUR attractiveness???? The worlds gone mad. He sounds like a twat...ergo unattractive to me.

Staffy1 · 21/10/2020 16:57

I feel like I've stumbled into the twilight zone. Am I the only one that wouldn't be that bothered by this? I have seen the equivalent posted by my female friends, pictures of attractive young men next to a horse, with the caption "what horse?" for example.

ImEatingVeryHealthilyOhYes · 21/10/2020 17:04

Sorry OP I bet you’re gutted Flowers

It’s not as easy as ltb when you’ve built a life together is it

HipTightOnions · 21/10/2020 17:10

My DH belongs to a hobby-related group in which this type of thing is sometimes posted. He commented critically and it has made him quite unpopular.

Not with me though Smile

thinkingaboutLangCleg · 21/10/2020 17:11

I'd be most concerned about Be happy, or I'll kick your cunt in. I would not live with someone who thought threatening violence to women was a joke.

I realise someone else originally posted that picture, but your partner is passing it on. It doesn't matter how much you think he wouldn't do it. It's that he thinks it's funny. Because injuring women is so funny.

Yogawithmydog · 21/10/2020 17:16

*How are you ever going to find him attractive again?

Why is your relationship based on him being the chooser and you being the one who might be lucky enough to be chosen?*

This!! You need to have more self respect and consider whether someone like this is who YOU want to be with

EvenSupposing · 21/10/2020 17:23

@Staffy1

I feel like I've stumbled into the twilight zone. Am I the only one that wouldn't be that bothered by this? I have seen the equivalent posted by my female friends, pictures of attractive young men next to a horse, with the caption "what horse?" for example.
No there's a couple of others here. You're not alone. Pretty low bar you've set yourselves for blokes though. Might want some thought?
DonnaQuixote · 21/10/2020 17:24

@HaventCriedThisMuchForYears

we get the idea, no need to keep giving the group publicity hmm

I don’t think most MN are exactly going to get off on that kind of thing are they?

I’m honestly quite surprised that they deem it acceptable

This is pretty common. Most men are sexist pigs, these days quite openly so. Sorry your husband is one of them but it has nothing to do with your (non)attractivness.
dinomumm · 21/10/2020 17:27

I'd find it disrespectful and I'd tell him so.

Staffy1 · 21/10/2020 18:09

No there's a couple of others here. You're not alone. Pretty low bar you've set yourselves for blokes though. Might want some thought?

No, that's ok, as clearly I've set the bar just as low on my female friends. I'm happier with people who don't get their knickers in a knot about everything under the sun.

EarthSight · 21/10/2020 18:11

@Clymene

I'd think he was 14 or of exceptionally limited intelligence
Lol. That phrasing made me laugh.
msflibble · 21/10/2020 18:12

This would inspire the ick in me pretty much instantly

unicornparty · 21/10/2020 18:18

It wouldn't bother me. There are loads on my Facebook feeds of topless men along the same theme posted by women.

testing987654321 · 21/10/2020 18:21

He would be pretty instantly dumped. Why would anyone want to go out with a sexist fool?

I would much rather be single.

Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel · 21/10/2020 18:24

How am I supposed to ever believe I’m attractive to him again?

You should be wondering how YOU are ever going to be attracted to HIM again, surely!

AsTreesWalking · 21/10/2020 18:27

My DH wouldn't post that. We wouldn't have been married 25 years if he were the kind of man that would.

Skyla2005 · 21/10/2020 18:39

I would be very embarrassed that he was my partner. It’s very Pervy and the comments are eveN more cringe worthy. I would dump him for sure what a creep

ThePankhurstConnection · 21/10/2020 18:40

@Staffy1

I feel like I've stumbled into the twilight zone. Am I the only one that wouldn't be that bothered by this? I have seen the equivalent posted by my female friends, pictures of attractive young men next to a horse, with the caption "what horse?" for example.
No, I'm sure there are plenty of other women who also think this is fine I'm just not one of them. For the record I don't like it when it is done to men either but I think we all know it isn't really the same and the ratio of women objectified to men and the nature of that objectification is very different. I would consider anyone denying that huge difference either naive or woefully ignorant of what goes on in this world. After all places like Reddit don't have subs about the lifeless eyes and bodies of objectified men do they?
AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 21/10/2020 18:43

I have a male friend who I've always thought was lovely. He seems really respectful and mature. I've considered setting up with my female friends before because I'd consider him a "catch" but then I joined Instagram and saw all the posts he "likes".
He follows hundreds of famous women and "likes" any photo that is overtly sexual. There are some who I also follow so anything he likes of theirs comes up on my feed.
It's really made me see him in a different light.

Malahaha · 21/10/2020 18:46

otoh there's a meme I've seen a hundred times on FB of David Beckham from behind with a rather prominent bum. The meme says something about "hasn't DB got a lovely... watch".
I always rolled my eyes at that, but hundreds of women seem to like it. Gander and goose come to mind.
It's just not the sort of thing I find funny. I dislike public sexual ogling at anybody's body, but that's the society we live in today.

Pelleas · 21/10/2020 18:50

The mouse on the doughnut is difficult to see because the doughnut has patterned icing and the mouse is sitting approximately where the hole would be. I had to look hard for it even though I didn't find the large breasts an erotic distraction.

Getting back to the point, I don't think the pictures are funny and 'kick your cunt in' strikes a particularly unpleasant note. My partner is a technophobe with only a vague idea of what social media is, but if he'd posted them I would be unimpressed.

decoraters · 21/10/2020 18:51

How am I supposed to ever believe I’m attractive to him again?

What a bizarre thing to take from this Confused

msflibble · 21/10/2020 18:53

Idk if anybody else has heard this but apparently TRAs and "liberal" types call Mumsnet "Mumchan" (a reference to the alt right message board 4chan). I thought that was pretty funny, even though its obvs a load of bollocks

msflibble · 21/10/2020 18:54

whoops wrong thread! sorry guys, pls ignore Blush

EvenSupposing · 21/10/2020 18:54

I'm not really understanding how the 'women do this too' posts are relevant. Thr question is whether this is acceptable behaviour. Most people don't think it is because it objectifies women. The question of whether men are ever objectified in our society isn't the one at hand.