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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Do any of you dress etc 'gender free' or have tried to in the past?

353 replies

SoulofanAggron · 21/10/2020 12:23

I'm going a bit more 'gender free' in my look. Did try it once years ago for a couple of years. Have any of you tried it/done it?

I know a lot of women have quite a 'gender free' look anyway.

OP posts:
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7
FleetsumNLangCleg · 21/10/2020 15:47

Clothes are clothes. Those who would never wear trousers-- your choice.

Did anyone else have to change after getting dressed this morning having found their jumper was eaten by moths over summer? Now that really boils my piss. Whether my clothes signal a gender...not so much.

testing987654321 · 21/10/2020 15:47

So for example rhe pockets on my jeans are smaller than those on his, because his jeans are simply much bigger. Big pockets wouldn’t work or would look ridiculous on mine.

Sadly that isn't how it works. I watched a video of a man who transitioned and one of their comments was about pockets, and the lack of them on women's clothing. He hadn't shrunk on transition.

Cailleach1 · 21/10/2020 15:48

The Dutch seem to have a thing about couples dressed alike. Still can't find the lycra cyclists one.

www.facebook.com/anwbstelletjes/

DidoLamenting · 21/10/2020 15:55

Is it really that If i was the op and this was my question is specify the items of clothing i was referring to. Can i ask youDidoto give some examples of clothes which are not conventionally gendered? I thought I'd replied in that sense

Even with your correction I don't understand your question. Why are you asking for examples of clothes which are "not conventionally gendered"

The point the OP was making is the other way round. For example if the choice was jeans or a jumper with floral embroidery in or absolutely plain jeans or jumper would you deliberately avoid the embroidered garment?

(And don't try arguing "but both are suitable for either sex" you (general you) know perfectly well that's not how the world / marketing works)

Cailleach1 · 21/10/2020 16:00

@FleetsumNLangCleg, place your woollens in large sandwich bags. Expel the air before you close them and store in a crate with a lid. Then they're safe.

The stick cards impregnated with pheromones which attract the male wasp and then he gets stuck are useful.

Another thing I've discovered which can be used to control moths are micro wasps. They only attack the eggs stage, though.

www.dragonfli.co.uk/products/clothes-moth-egg-killer-trichogramma-evanescens

FairFridaythe13th · 21/10/2020 16:01

That’s what I do - I also throw in a bar of soap as moths don’t like stinky things.

DeaconBoo · 21/10/2020 16:02

@DidoLamenting

Is it really that If i was the op and this was my question is specify the items of clothing i was referring to. Can i ask youDidoto give some examples of clothes which are not conventionally gendered? I thought I'd replied in that sense

Even with your correction I don't understand your question. Why are you asking for examples of clothes which are "not conventionally gendered"

The point the OP was making is the other way round. For example if the choice was jeans or a jumper with floral embroidery in or absolutely plain jeans or jumper would you deliberately avoid the embroidered garment?

(And don't try arguing "but both are suitable for either sex" you (general you) know perfectly well that's not how the world / marketing works)

Ok, so you've answered my question. I'm not sure the op was asking " if the choice was jeans or a jumper with floral embroidery in or absolutely plain jeans or jumper would you deliberately avoid the embroidered garment?" - that's your interpretation, and why i suggested specific examples as an illustration of what OP was asking.

To me it'd depend on the design, fit and colour in your example add to what i'd prefer. Hence

DeaconBoo · 21/10/2020 16:04

oops! Hence wanting specifics.

Eg i probably would choose a plain teal top over a brown floral one but a teal floral one over a brown plain one.

EyesOpening · 21/10/2020 16:06

@lazylinguist

I think some people are being a bit snarky and disingenuous in their responses. No it's not necessary for all clothes to be 'gendered', but they largely are. Even with a pair of trousers or jeans it is obvious more often than not whether they are for women or men, because of the cut and/or other design features, including little 'feminine' patterns, pocket designs etc. Pretending that's not the case does not gain you woke points.

Blatantly presumably the OP is asking whether any of us make a deliberate effort to avoid clothes which have a design or cut aimed at women, i.e. clothes from men's shops or departments or from women's ranges but which lack those design features. I'm not sure why people are pretending not to know what she means. It's utterly ridiculous to claim that 'clothes are just clothes, they don't have a gender', when evidence to the contrary is all around us.

I prefer unfussy, clothes in fabric that's not highly patterned. I like skirts because I find them comfortable, but not dresses so much. I often buy men's jumpers, but I'm pretty curvy with biggish boobs, so other men's clothes don't fit me.

no it’s not necessary for all clothes to be ‘gendered’ but they largely are this is why I’m having difficulty answering because basically I’d be either wearing clothes designed for my sex, or for the opposite sex. I guess the two ranges might meet at some end of their respective ranges though. If the OP is asking if I dress (including hair and make up) like a “high maintenance“ type of girl all the time, then no, only if I was going out, I’m not an overly frilly and flouncy dresser and I don’t go in for the contouring and heavy make up, even when going out but I do wear a touch of makeup most days (although not so much atm)
DeaconBoo · 21/10/2020 16:07

Also my dh owns floral shirts while i go for checked. The "gendered" aspect is the fit, which I'd say is more in accordance with average biological sexed bodies than gender.

FleetsumNLangCleg · 21/10/2020 16:08

[quote Cailleach1]@FleetsumNLangCleg, place your woollens in large sandwich bags. Expel the air before you close them and store in a crate with a lid. Then they're safe.

The stick cards impregnated with pheromones which attract the male wasp and then he gets stuck are useful.

Another thing I've discovered which can be used to control moths are micro wasps. They only attack the eggs stage, though.

www.dragonfli.co.uk/products/clothes-moth-egg-killer-trichogramma-evanescens[/quote]
Thanks for that, they were in large vacuum bags from IKEA, where you suck out the air through a seal-able hole after closing (hard to describe). But the bags are a few years old now and I was lazy and used them anyway. They opened up under the bed!

I have the sticky cards, and ericaceous earth (sp?) liberally sprinkled in places where they may lay eggs. Will follow your link, thanks

OperationallySound · 21/10/2020 16:08

Oh how I cringe when I see Bowie being put forward by anyone who thinks she is a feminist (which presumably you do?) as a good example of anything

So would you or would you not agree that Bowie wore make up during an era when that had previously been extremely unusual for men? And that, at that time, generally women were the only sex who wore make up? I'd say he was a good example of that. He's hardly a feminist icon.

Do feel free to call on cringeing though.

Cailleach1 · 21/10/2020 16:09

www.instagram.com/p/Bbcj2b5HCsx/?utm_source=ig_embed

Kinda meta. Wonder what bow wow is channeling? it is not just a piece of clothing, it must really really mean something.

Rudolphian · 21/10/2020 16:10

I just wear what I want. Sometimes its trousers and tops. Other times dresses. Not sure what you mean by gender free.

FleetsumNLangCleg · 21/10/2020 16:15

The point the OP was making is the other way round. For example if the choice was jeans or a jumper with floral embroidery in or absolutely plain jeans or jumper would you deliberately avoid the embroidered garment?

Gotta wonder, though, why does it matter? People have different tastes as they are individuals with personalities. One day I may choose the "embroidered jumper" or I may never have bought it. Same with the plain jumper. Why would anyone else care? Anyway you can ignore me, I woke up mad! Best fair isle jumper ruinedAngry

Winesalot · 21/10/2020 16:20

given that even on here so many of you are saying you buy men's clothes or maybe we just buy clothes from the 'men's section' and don't view them as being 'men's clothes'.

NCone · 21/10/2020 16:25

Is any of it about gender, really? It's just about preferences. Gender can go hang.

Bluntness100 · 21/10/2020 16:27

I think sex and gender have got confused here,

There is no doubt for the vast majority of people wear clothes designed for our sex. So they are cut to fit our bodies, male or female. Not all, but most of us do.

This doesn’t mean we wear clothes that are gendered as a majority though. Because for decades now women have worn things like jeans, jumpers, hoodies, trainers, jogging bottoms, trousers etc.

A plain white shirt ans a pair of indigo jeans is not gendered, however they are usually cut for our sex. Be you male or female.

This isn’t what the op was asking for though.she wasn’t asking about clothing cut. She was asking about clothing being gendered as she wears clothes like those she posted. The typically female gendered stuff like big pink skirts or Mary Janes.

The reality is these clothes are not what would be called popular. They are not common across any female demographic nor have they been for a long time. Clothes the op deems “non gendered” are more the societal norm It is what most women wear now. The jeans, trainers, jogging bottoms, trousers etc.

Walk down any high street and you see it. But this doesn’t mean we are wearing clothes that are not cut for our sex, it doesn’t mean we dress androgynously.

Dressing for your body shape, your sex is very different to dressing for your gender. The op dresses for her gender, and is in the minority based on the items she posted, the majority of women dress for their sex.

What I can’t understand is the op asks “has anyone tried it” like it’s something pioneering. When we’ve nearly all been doing it for decades. Instead of leading by example by shedding the “gendered “ clothing as she states, she is playing catch up with the majority of the rest of the western world.

WitchFindersAreEverywhere · 21/10/2020 16:31

*Dressing for your body shape, your sex is very different to dressing for your gender. The op dresses for her gender, and is in the minority based on the items she posted, the majority of women dress for their sex.

What I can’t understand is the op asks “has anyone tried it” like it’s something pioneering. When we’ve nearly all been doing it for decades. Instead of leading by example by shedding the “gendered “ clothing as she states, she is playing catch up with the majority of the rest of the western world.*

I agree, Bluntness.
I don’t wear make-up, dye my hair, shave my legs or pluck my eyebrows. Neither does my husband.
That’s me being gender non-conforming IMO

BebeStevens · 21/10/2020 16:34

I understand liberating ones own sense of gender norms if they feel restrictive OP, I just don't think my choices of clothes needs to be a signifier of some kind of "gender free" ideal, it just sounds really performative and makes me cringe a bit.

If an androgynous style looks cool on you then wear it, if a feminine floaty thing is your style then wear it, if your kid doesn't sleep and you never have any energy to care then put on yesterday's joggers and go swimming with hairy legs ... just wear things that you like and/or feel good and/or is convenient to your life.

Thelnebriati · 21/10/2020 16:34

This is so sad, after decades of feminism its still seen as daring to wear jeans.

NCone · 21/10/2020 16:35

I think you have nailed it, Bluntness.

lazylinguist · 21/10/2020 16:36

The typically female gendered stuff like big pink skirts or Mary Janes.

But those really aren't the only kinds of clothes which are 'gendered'. If you walk into a girls' or women's clothes shop/department, it isn't all divided into blousy pink frilly stuff and Mary Janes and then the rest indistinguishable from the men's clothes except for hip and boob allowance, is it? Everything from the colour palette to the collar shape on shirts, the sleeve style, the type of buttons, any logos, patterns or embellishments usually recognisably marks the garments as women's clothes.

Yes we wear hoodies, tracksuit bottoms, trainers etc, and yes we can wear men's ones and some are designed to be unisex. But the majority of even the type of women's clothes which have no need to be gendered are gendered.

ErrolTheDragon · 21/10/2020 16:36

Maybe it's 'gendered thinking' to even worry about 'my look' and whether it affects anyone else? I don't think I know any blokes who this would even vaguely occur to.

lazylinguist · 21/10/2020 16:37

This is so sad, after decades of feminism its still seen as daring to wear jeans.

Nobody thinks it's daring for women to wear jeans.