Facemasks on for a trip to the Bluestocking

[CaraDuneRedux]

We haven't had a Bluestocking thread for fucking ages.

Anyone fancy a socially distanced, tables of no more than 6, Bluestocking?

The goat has been covid tested and the patriarchy busting canon polished up to remove all possible virus traces from its surface.

Remember, MN spans the globe, and it's always before the 10pm curfew somewhere.

I was going to say "nah, it's the rudeness factor that makes them comedic" because around age six DD started finding willies, boobs and bums hilarious (second only to farts on the humour scale). But actually, boobs and bums didn't stay funny for long, whereas willies are still way up there. So maybe it is just that they're inherently ridiculous.

Not that she's seen one since the time she went full Muttley at her father on the way to the bath though.

Pub bump!

I need the lighthearted banter and the chunky imaginary wines. Imaginary Rioja tonight I think. With some cheese.

Today has not been a good one. Best summed up by the dog choosing to stop on the zebra crossing to have a giant, slightly runny poo, so I had to hold up rush hour traffic as I tried to deal with it, and I couldn’t get the sodding poo bag open stupid mutt!

Ive had a pj day sophocles

Sorry about the dog poo...its the main thing putting me off having a dog

We did have a beautiful fox in our garden

He came in lockdown when he was only little...and now he’s taking the piss and sunning himself

Lucky you with the Fox in your garden Rufus! I love them- username gives it away I suppose, though the fox I’m named after is a 700 year old genetically manipulated clone that lives on Mars...so probably not hanging out in your garden...

Oh, god, Sophocles, that brings me out in a sweat even thinking about it.

I want a fox in my garden. Actually, I have a fox but it only comes at night and pisses everywhere, shits on the lawn and then the dog eats it.

Rioja all round, and here are some Christmassy (?) walnut whips.

Slightly better than 50-50 indoor versus outdoor poo with the puppy today, which is a win.

I will have a glass of imaginary Rioja, which my imaginary fully-functioning body will process without complaint (meanwhile, in the real world, I can't drink).

I think this pub needs a kennel attached.

Yes, let's have a kennel to keep the dogs in so the cats can have the run of the pub.

Speaking of cats, and poo, one of mine knocked a plant pot off a wall in the back yard a while back, and has been using the resulting pile of soil as a litter tray. Really need to clean it up before the weather gets warmer, but not sure where to start. Possibly a flamethrower would be easiest?

I will go for an imaginary strawberry daquiri, because it is imaginary so why the hell not.

so probably not hanging out in your garden..

I bloody hope not 😳

We have to shoo him away...but not before i got a photo

Yes, let's have a kennel to keep the dogs in so the cats can have the run of the pub.

heretic! My dachshund has been the pub dog (or one of them) for ages. He's nearly 15 so wouldn't take kindly to being ousted by cats. He totally CBA to see them off, pretends to ignore them.

Id love a dachshund

@ErrolTheDragon

Yes, let's have a kennel to keep the dogs in so the cats can have the run of the pub.

heretic! My dachshund has been the pub dog (or one of them) for ages. He's nearly 15 so wouldn't take kindly to being ousted by cats. He totally CBA to see them off, pretends to ignore them.

Absolutely. We need a large selection of hounds snoozing on the floor in front of the fire.

Fear not, one claw to the doggy nose and the dogs will realise who's in charge.

We could of course install a system of high-level walkways and platforms for the cats!

If my cats are anything to go by, the pub cats will appreciate a complex system of walkways, ropes, hammocks etc. Because all the humans will gather round to oooh and aaah, presenting a perfect opportunity to nick our seats.

Back to the fox. My neighbours had a bbq a couple of years back. Suddenly young fox came charging through my garden with half a chicken in it's mouth.

Now back to dogs & cats and a glass of imaginary Rioja for me too please, though I'd like it 50 - 50 (that's 50% imaginary to ease the hangover)

Every BBQ should have a fox in attendance to add that extra je ne sais quoi.

If my dog must go in the pub, can I go in the kennel for a bit of peace?

I promise my dog will be very peaceful (so long as you don't tread on him). He is a Good Boy.

Aw, I'm sure he is! But you haven't met mine, whom I might rename Catherine, after the wheel.

Saturday afternoon in the pub, anyone? I don’t have anything to do this afternoon as I’ve wrapped all my pressies and done my tax return. I’ve just smashed an entire packet of kettle chips and it’s made my mouth feel weird 😬

Cards against humanity anyone?

Hey Sophocles a festive Bailey's would go down really well right now

Very festive! I need something sweet after the crisps, so I might join you.

I need a laugh. Never played cards against humanity but from what i have heard, seems particularly appropriate this afternoon.

Mind you champers does very well with salty crisps. Mouthwatering.

Port. I'm getting out the port and a fucking Euro mountain of assorted cheeses. Fill your boots, wummens.

Yes, champers, yes port!! Chin chin!