Thinly veiled ad for supermarket clothes makes out that dressing just like thousands of ordinary women is a brave, exciting statement of non-binary identity

[Vermeil]

www.stylist.co.uk/fashion/gender-identity-…clothing-choices/429403?fbclid=IwAR0BkrvE6eF-xDxOiN-tioRTk8q5L3yq6FnAdtKtqF8Gd9eJf1WPHhKFJLo

Came across this on FB and found it incredibly irritating. Can someone please explain to me how wearing ordinary supermarket clothes that wouldn’t warrant a second glance in the street is actually a brave and exciting expression of non-binary identity? 🤷‍♀️

I wear "men's" clothes often, mostly because they are more likely to fit. Am I special or just too big?

I have above shoulder length hair and wear plain clothes, very much like the ones in the photo.

I just thought my look was about comfort and convenience. Now I am starting to question my very identity.

Oh my wow.... I’m wearing trousers and a shirt and a cardigan too!
I mean what are the chances.

DW and I both wore tracksuits today, so pretty non binary appropriate. But then my mum turned up and one-upped us - not only in tracksuit bottoms and a fleece, but they were covered in paint.

My mum is most enby of all.

Everything she is wearing falls into the category of "what prompted you to select that dull garment out of the racks of equally dull garments"?

Style tip from the video: start with jeans or chinos and add a plain t-shirt. Wow. I’m throwing my corset and silk gowns in the bin right now.

Literally sitting here reading this in men's jogging bottoms and men's jumper. I thought I was the most boring middle aged mum and civil servant you'd find but now I learn I'm actually terribly fashion forward.

I don’t know if it’s funny or sad actually. It sounds like they needed the label “non binary” to give themselves permission to simply wear the clothes they want to.

I’d find that ok in a teenager, but genuinely sad in an adult. The term “non binary” is being used as a kind of shield, I think. Far better to work on their own self-confidence IMO.

Generally, I find it so depressing that we’re in 2020 and we’ve gone backwards. It’s like the 1980s never happened. Why is everyone just so bloody boring and po-faced and self-obsessed? Wear what you want fgs! That’s what we were all doing until the 1950s stereotypes popped up from nowhere. It’s painful.

I think I knew that when I started to wear more masculine or gender neutral clothing, that this wasn’t really what society expected me to look like. I’ve had plenty of comments - even now, it still happens. Someone shouted something at me and my partner just last night.

Shouted what? What kind of area does she live in that a chunky knit jumper and jeans draw abuse?

I assume it's a pisstake? But who knows these days.

YY to Mel c I thought of her as well!

Also YY is she ready to be tackled for cultural appropriation for her hair?

IF it is real then what I find odd is the focus on the external appearance. Many many people feel that they don't fit in with the gendered norms of their society. Generally though this is way wider than clothes. It's about personality, interests. How you're treated by others.

I always hated been done up like a doll by my mum because
It was uncomfortable
It was about how I looked as a girl being of extreme importance
And getting and reacting properly to any compliments
And also it tied into a whole lot of other much more unpalatable expectations

This person seems hung up on the clothes as a solution to how they feel. That's missing a whole fuckton of stuff though isn't it.

Anyway. I was a feminist before I knew what the word was.

This person is non binary and it's clothes and... The end.

The way that serious political stances are being subverted into a focus on external appearances that can be capitalised on by retailers etc is... Shit. Quite frankly.

And I can't believe for one second that she gets abuse on the street for wearing jeans and a t-shirt. I mean she's not in fucking Iran is she. Jesus.

@Kantastic Nobody shared it, targeted ad!
I was just minding my own business looking at pics of squirrels. 😬

The other weird thing is this assumption that those slavish adherents to stereotype- 'cis' women and girls, adhere to them 24/7.

Has it occurred to this person that the most glamorous women are perfectly capable of sitting at home in comfy clothes with a bit of a chocolate stain down, unstyled hair, and belching?

It's so strange. Like the cartoon woman with big hair etc is literally all there is. Conforming to that stereotype at all times. Always groomed, shaved, styled, corseted.

This is a male fantasy that has been consumed, isn't it? A male fantasy of a 'perfect' woman. Who never has opinions or wind or puts in a comfy top rather than a waist training corset...

The whole thing is about the worst most extreme male fantasies... Why are women buying into this shit? That as a girl, wearing jeans and a tshirt is a bold act that no 'cis' female would ever dream of doing.

Nah this article has pissed me off. Please tell me it's a joke!

Bloody hell. I decided at a young age that I didn't like dresses and skirts etc. So I didn't wear them. Apart from at school because in the olden days (the 80s & 90s) you had to wear them. I've lived in jeans,t-shirts & hoodies since I was a kid.

I didn't realise it made me such an unusual special woman. I forgot to shout about how different I am and how everyone should gasp in amazement at my daring to wear masculine clothes.

Look at me, all of you other women, I'm not like you! Oh, except I am, because I wear the same sort of clothes as most of my friends!

Yawn yawn. All this proves to me is that non-binary is a load of attention seeking nonsense.

The whole article seems to be based on the idea that wearing jeans and a jumper makes someone somehow different from everyone else.

I find if really difficult to believe that wearing jeans and a t shirt was such a shockingly androgynous statement that strangers yelled abuse because of it. I do find it entirely believable that based on having a female body, regardless of gender identity, that someone (probably a man) would take it upon himself to catcall or shout abuse towards a woman who is minding her own business, especially to a woman who isn't dressing to please the male gaze.

It's got to be a piss take, surely.

Most women I know dress like that, no one gives a second glance.

Alternatively non binary is nonsense unless you live in Stepford.

I don’t know if it’s funny or sad actually. It sounds like they needed the label “non binary” to give themselves permission to simply wear the clothes they want to.

Perhaps that was the reason for all the elaborate mind-mapping stuff - the need to be given "permission".

But... but...

No. Don't understand. Comfy jumpers? Muted tones? That poor person genuinely thinks they are getting shouted at in the street because they dress 'differently', when it was probably just a random odd bloke in the street and this person spends too much time navel gazing. They don't look different. At all.

'The whole article seems to be based on the idea that wearing jeans and a jumper makes someone somehow different from everyone else.'

Well not quite- it makes them 'not-woman' with male attire as default.

Whole thing stinks- not just this.

Same idea as why non binary women/ girls often feel the need to hide/ remove breasts surgically while non binary men can bung some lipstick on and jobs a good-un.

No massive surgery for them.

Male as default.

Fuck off.

@Kanaloa

I also don’t know what she means about ‘you laugh at me because I’m different, I laugh at you because you’re all the same.’ She’s not that different, most people will be wearing jeans, jumpers and trainers at this time of year.

I wouldn't laugh at her. I may well think "how did you decide on that really boring jumper and jeans from the endless racks of equally boring jumpers and jeans?"

So she doesn't like wearing dresses and ...
neither do millions of other women, love. So we just don't wear them then. Just like we can choose not to wear make up, have short hair and wear flat comfy shoes.
Honestly, these clothes are pretty nondescript, and probably a good thing to wear if you want to fade into the background. Thats the only feeling I get from the.

I'm with gerbil.

I'm not too sure of the details but a young girl committed suicide in the NE this weekend due to bullying.

From what I can work out the main "accusations" against her was being a 'lesbian and transvestite'. I can't see anything other than lovely pictures of a lovely girl on social media. (#charleylaw)

I do think in some communities and areas of the country the only way to be acceptable as a non conforming young person is to "come out as..." and hide under the trans umbrella.

Which is leading to very confused young people who risk doing actual harm to themselves.

(Non binary these days includes binders and mastectomies.)

What on earth was she wearing before she discovered Tu at Sainsbury's? Did she never look round her and see loads of women wearing the same nondescript clothes?

Like others I don't believe she was shouted at in the street for what she was wearing.

@napody

That was a good contender for most boring article in the history of print. The bit about having to 'gradually transition to more unisex clothing' made me laugh. You wouldn't want to rush into wearing jeans and a jumper all at once.... imagine!

I do think in some communities and areas of the country the only way to be acceptable as a non conforming young person is to "come out as..." and hide under the trans umbrella

What's "non- conforming" about wearing jeans and a jumper? I loathe office dress down days and used to deliberately dress up even more than I would normally do, but jeans and a jumper or a t- shirt was the default option for 99.99% - all ages and both sexes.

That poor girl, neurotrash.

That's really upsetting.

I don't do Twitter (apart from clicking links on here) so not sure about the hashtag thing but if it's pointing to the pictures on this child's social media I'm not sure that's the right thing to post on here? Like I say I don't know how twitter works though.

With bullying and children they'll pick on any difference or make one up won't they. Prod until they get a reaction.

Accusations of homosexuality have been s long standing go to. Now why the fuck doesn't stonewall do something about that? Rather than saying same sex attraction is old fashioned and bigoted. How will that help anything FFS.