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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Simulated pregnancy and induced lactation

352 replies

GingerAndTheBiscuits · 30/09/2020 13:32

Should possibly come with all sorts of trigger/content warnings.

DH just sent me this:

twitter.com/godblesstoto/status/1311050509072113664?s=20

TW simulating pregnancy and birth (in a house where their STBEx-wife and children live), already “planning” that the baby will be stillborn, and then wondering aloud if someone will lend them a baby to breastfeed.

All in a group for mothers taking medication so they can produce milk for their babies. Given how poor breastfeeding support is for many mothers in all parts of the world I can’t work out whether I’m more offended, disgusted, or terrified that this person has centred themselves and has people cheering them on.

DH questioned why women were commenting in support - I said it was part of the socialisation to “be nice”. His response was that it’s not being nice, it’s dangerous. And he’s right, but why can so many women not see it? Does it go beyond socialisation? According to other posts in the thread women were removed from the group for saying the person’s post was offensive/triggering to those who had experienced the loss of a child.

I don’t even know why I’m posting it really, other than I was so agog and this is one of the few places open to comment on things since I abandoned twitter

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Asterion · 30/09/2020 14:06

I'm just staggered that the soon-to-be-ex wife is "uncooperative". Fancy!

Codexdivinchi · 30/09/2020 14:06

Oh god god poor fucking wife I bet he has made her ill with this and fucking his kids head up.

Just rotten and vile.

Ansjovis · 30/09/2020 14:06

This person said in their blog that they know that uterine transplant trials are ongoing but can't figure out why they are not a candidate. I don't even know what to say to that! I have every sympathy with people who are suffering psychological pain in this and similar ways but why is it 'hate speech' to entertain the possibility that psychiatric intervention may help this person? Then there's the people who try and equate such psychiatric intervention with gay conversion therapy but that's another issue altogether.

TinselAngel · 30/09/2020 14:07

The wife has clearly got a decent idea of how to safeguard the children.

NecessaryScene1 · 30/09/2020 14:08

Do women in this group go along with women doing the same thing? Or is just done for men?

CuriousaboutSamphire · 30/09/2020 14:09

Oh that just sings out MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE doesn't it?

ErrolTheDragon · 30/09/2020 14:09

Something this has made me wonder about. There are many thousands of infertile women in the world (millions, I'd think). Has anyone heard of any doing this sort of thing, and if so what sort of response does it get? For instance would it perhaps be considered to be a MH problem?

MiniTheMinx · 30/09/2020 14:09

I just don't get this. So, he describes himself as a transgender woman. So, even accepting he is a transgender woman, we are talking about gender? So, if I even (and I don't) accept someone's self identification as a different gender, we are still talking about gender, no? we are not talking about biology are we? why is it I have to do two contradictory things, first accept his self identification as trans, uphold his rights as trans, give him equality etc,...but now he's not trans anymore....he's a woman, and despite having acknowledged both his transness and his right to be trans i'm also expected to say he's not trans he's a woman, ...... except he isn't! and he knows it, and I know it (he states he has serious dysphoria) but I'm expected to collude with this dysphoria?

I get sick of this shit. Trans identity makes no sense whatsoever when it also claims to be both trans and to be something else.

CaraDuneRedux · 30/09/2020 14:10

Sorry, suffering from a sympathy bypass here.

But that could simply be because someone I know in RL recently treated me to the full-on "of course HRT gives TW periods - because periods are all about hormonal fluctuations, yada yada, nonsense, nonsense" while young woke women in our social circle (presumably the ones without endo or bad cramps) nodded along and made encouraging "wow, that's so interesting, I never knew" noises.

Unfortunately, the circumstances were such that I was not at liberty to channel my inner Magadelen and simply shout "Fuck off you wanker."

ErrolTheDragon · 30/09/2020 14:10

This person said in their blog that they know that uterine transplant trials are ongoing but can't figure out why they are not a candidate.

And the 'nice things' comment.Hmm

Whatsnewpussyhat · 30/09/2020 14:11

There are 2 possible reasons for this persons behaviour. Pointing them out would get my post deleted.

Fought to be called "mother" the children they fathered.

HDDD · 30/09/2020 14:12

I honestly don't know why people go along with it. I'd love to know but have not been able to fathom it myself.

Userzzz · 30/09/2020 14:13

I can’t wrap my head around this one, try as I might.

Whatwouldscullydo · 30/09/2020 14:16

Not nice. Its dangerous.

Thats spot on.

Still think the ones like that just want to pee Hmm

TikTakTikTak · 30/09/2020 14:16

To watch your partner carry and give birth to your children, likely supporting them through their fears about losing said baby (low movement fear or some similar worry probably happens during every single pregnancy, for obvious reasons), and to watch the person you love go through that with your precious children, even if all the pregnancies went well and without complications, and to then play act a pregnancy with the aim of a stillbirth is so insulting.
It demonstrates that they had no empathy for the ex wife at all.
I can't articulate how much I would hate this.

Datun · 30/09/2020 14:17

Pregnancy fetishes, breastfeeding fetishes, are far more common than people realise.

Photos of men being aroused by reclining on beds with a fake pregnancy bump, trying to make themselves lactate, all of it.

This man is obviously in need of psychological help, as it's running his life.

The women are rather naive or, well I don't know what. I can't imagine anyone not realising that this is not a healthy or acceptable thing to support.

Original poster
GingerAndTheBiscuits · 30/09/2020 14:19

[quote Thelnebriati]This person wants to donate breast milk, and has a blog.

archive.is/LCDRW[/quote]
Thanks for sharing that. It’s helpfully insightful. It does make me feel very sad for the person. I think my thinking is that the person should be supported to process their emotions about desperately wanting to experience a pregnancy with a suitably qualified professional; not “acting it out” which feels very inappropriate, and appropriating, despite their protests to the contrary.

OP posts:
EmmaGrundyForPM · 30/09/2020 14:19

I have no words

highame · 30/09/2020 14:20

First Question: which country?

Second Question: does anyone actually believe this?

Third Question: If it is true, then this response from one of the posters is about right What the fucking fuck have I just read. For the first time in 50 odd years I’m sleeping with the light on tonight

MiniTheMinx · 30/09/2020 14:20

circumstances were such that I was not at liberty to channel my inner Magadelen and simply shout "Fuck off you wanker." Grin brilliant.

I bleed for 7 days, its expensive, inconvenient, and painful. If only I knew I could have got DH to experience only the half of it.....oops perhaps not, I don't want to deal with him having PMT.

I feel very sorry for the soon to be ex, and the children. Is this individual holding down a job, doing his fair share of childcare and domestic work, or just too busy wrapped up in his own sense of entitlement.

Whatwouldscullydo · 30/09/2020 14:24

Second Question: does anyone actually believe this

I'm wondering if its a shock thing .

Like when kids know you are ignoring them so they escalate behaviour until you have no choice but to react.

So people are more open to trans bow. It has less shock factor. Then self ID gathers support and even that becomes less of a shock.

And eventually it leads to something so outrageous because we are so de sensitised to the rest of it.

TinselAngel · 30/09/2020 14:34

It does make me feel very sad for the person.

I think we'd all be better saving our sympathy for the wife and children.

SpaceOP · 30/09/2020 14:35

I saw this on twitter earlier. The whole thing is bizarre, but okay, I can sort of see why a TW might go this route. But what on earth is the reason for PLANNING A STILLBIRTH?! I just can't get my head around that. I really really can't. The rest can be seen as someone who is desperate to experience a uniquely female experience and while I absolutely think it's beyond crazy, I can at least process it. But planning to "give birth" to a dead baby? WTAF?

Brunt0n · 30/09/2020 14:38

Would be happy to assist in giving him a failed ventouse and emergency c section like I had 🙃

Kit19 · 30/09/2020 14:39

@ErrolTheDragon

Something this has made me wonder about. There are many thousands of infertile women in the world (millions, I'd think). Has anyone heard of any doing this sort of thing, and if so what sort of response does it get? For instance would it perhaps be considered to be a MH problem?
I am around the infertility/childless communities quite a bit & I have never seen anyone do this or even talk about

On a personal level it makes me feel profoundly sad even thinking about it! Why would I want to simulate pregnancy/childbirth knowing that at the end there will be no baby? I mean I can’t think of anything worse!