Simulated pregnancy and induced lactation

[GingerAndTheBiscuits]

Should possibly come with all sorts of trigger/content warnings.

DH just sent me this:

twitter.com/godblesstoto/status/1311050509072113664?s=20

TW simulating pregnancy and birth (in a house where their STBEx-wife and children live), already “planning” that the baby will be stillborn, and then wondering aloud if someone will lend them a baby to breastfeed.

All in a group for mothers taking medication so they can produce milk for their babies. Given how poor breastfeeding support is for many mothers in all parts of the world I can’t work out whether I’m more offended, disgusted, or terrified that this person has centred themselves and has people cheering them on.

DH questioned why women were commenting in support - I said it was part of the socialisation to “be nice”. His response was that it’s not being nice, it’s dangerous. And he’s right, but why can so many women not see it? Does it go beyond socialisation? According to other posts in the thread women were removed from the group for saying the person’s post was offensive/triggering to those who had experienced the loss of a child.

I don’t even know why I’m posting it really, other than I was so agog and this is one of the few places open to comment on things since I abandoned twitter

[highame]

My two guesses are 1) this is partly for the cash. No matter how revolting, there are people who want to read about this stuff 2) He wont go near the baby thing, because a 5 month old will scream the place down and that kind of rejection wont be kiiiiiiind

[Canwecancel2020]

for all of you who have shared such tragic experiences.

My question is, based on other cases where initial fantasies/idealisation have been progressively acted out, is there a risk of criminality/serious harm resulting from the encouragement of this thinking/behaviour rather than intervention or therapy?

If this person needs to up the ante each time to keep easing the dysphoria (or reach whatever other positive/euphoric pay-off they derive from this), where might this end? And why can't some well-meaning souls see that this couldn't be further from the genuine trauma of women who have suffered from birth trauma and baby loss.

[Deliriumoftheendless]

I’m sure there’s someone who identifies as a baby who can volunteer.

[vivariumvivariumsvivaria]

It is curious how much more leeway these male born people get compared to female born people.

This person has really upset me, the very idea that my sex and physiology is being appropriated in this way has disturbed me. Fetishising women (in public, and in a workplace too!) is just revolting.

[Oxyiz]

I imagine it's easier to offer when you have absolutely no intention at all of letting the creep near your children.

[Quietlyloud]

Wasn’t there a thread either here or somewhere else about someone walking in on another mother breastfeeding a baby because it was crying? Anyone remember how disgusted everyone was at that? Yet here we are, a few years later literally people are offering their babies to a bloke so he can play at feeding.. I’m sorry but people lose their kids for stupid stupid reasons yet, this is okay? His kids in his home are apparently fine to be around all this? Yet two normal parents can’t have an argument without that being an unsafe place for a kid to be.. I’m so angry right now and I really shouldn’t be but I almost lost my kid because of a mark it turns out she was born with and yet this fucker is doing all of this and no one is looking into safe guarding his kids? I feel sick.

[Quietlyloud]

NRatched Yep that’s my worry too. Would it be transphobic to refuse, I mean everything else is transphobic these days..

[crunchermuncher]

He's treating babies like toys

The only scenario I've ever heard of in which a woman allows another woman to bf her child is when she has insufficient milk of her own. Not just so they can 'have a go' .There must be mums who have sadly lost a baby and are still lactating - why aren't these women offering their babies to them to feed?

This should be about feeding a helpless child, not providing an experience to someone else . The baby can't consent to being his guinea pig.

As someone said upthread, they're treating him as a special man, not as another woman. I wonder why? Why would you put a random man above your own child?

[cherrybakewelllll]

I cannot believe what I've just read. Wtf

[NRatched]

Also seeing the implication (though this might be in my head) of others potentially contacting her for him, to tell her the heartfelt story and all and pressure her into lending a child for the situation..

Maybe I just have too much experience with manipulation..or possibly am paranoid about it, but the whole 'Is there a scenario where something like this could be possible?' but just really strikes me as manipulative in many ways, the above being one possibility

[HecatesCat]

This person wants to get hold of someone's baby don't they? It's deeply concerning. Why is no one involved with this person raising a red flag about this? Why are women even encouraging this person to think someone might let them take their baby for these purposes? I'm finding it increasingly troubling.

[NRatched]

I hope to god noone replies to him actually offering to lend their baby for this scenario*

+OR EVEN A 5 MONTH OLD.

I only skimread the posts to him. Wouldn't lend a baby, but would led a 5 month old..jesus christ.

[NRatched]

Wow. This just keeps getting worse and worse. I hope to god noone replies to him actually offering to lend their baby for this scenario. As that appears to be the reason for the 'Is there a scenario where something like this could be possible?' part, asking without asking

This is genuinely making me feel sick at this stage.

That anyone wuld suggest it to him in the first place is vile. The original situation is vile. And everything thats followed it all is fucking vile.

[Lisa78Lemon]

@Tigger85 I'm so sorry for the pain you endure .
You're so right & you've highlighted just what a fraud this person is.

[AngeloMysterioso]

Surely no milk bank would accept such 'donations'? I know they probably need as much help as possible but surely that cannot extend to breast milk squeezed from males because of shitloads of domperidone (admittedly amazing stuff for the right reasons, I would have had no supply at all if not for this) and whatever other drugs?!

He said this about it a few weeks ago-

“I started looking into donation, but I'm worried a milk bank won't accept my milk because of the use of dom. Anyone else experienced that? Will I be limited to peer-to-peer sharing?”

Don’t know whether he has actually tried to donate though. In a reply to a comment on a later post asking if he’d though of donating he said “I am already looking to do that. Many people here have suggested peer-to-peer sharing, since the presence of domperidone will likely cause my milk to be rejected by a milk bank.” yeah, that and the fact that you’re a dude

As for the ‘peer to peer sharing’, he wrote this in a separate post later that same day-

“As I wait for the time to come, a lot of things are swimming through my mind. Since there will no baby after Saturday (see my previous posts, if confused), a member of this group asked if I had a close friend who would be willing to let me nurse their baby. That nearly made me cry because in the absence of my own child, feeding another person's child would be a dream scenario. Of course, asking someone if I can nurse their child seems wildly inappropriate. If someone were to offer, however, that would be an invaluable gift. Is there a scenario where something like this could be possible?”

I’ve screenshotted the ensuing exchange...

[Ereshkigalangcleg]

the expression of disappointment is grooming everyone for round 2, i reckon.

I would imagine so. How can Gabrielle up the ante now? Nothing will ever be enough.

[NRatched]

That good to hear at least. I kind of half remember my sister when her daughter wouldn't breastfeed (turned out to be undiagnosed tonguetie, but thats aother story!) she wanted to donate to help other kids, but she was refused as she was on antidepressants (I think it was, some prescription med anyway) by that time. So it stands to reason 'breastmilk; created by a cocktail of drugs, and also from a male would be rejected. Though I am sure thats transphobic or something

[Quietlyloud]

Surely no milk bank would accept such 'donations'? I know they probably need as much help as possible but surely that cannot extend to breast milk squeezed from males because of shitloads of domperidone (admittedly amazing stuff for the right reasons, I would have had no supply at all if not for this) and whatever other drugs?!

I really don’t think they would. I don’t think you can donate if you drink alcohol or even smoke for that matter. This milk is predominantly given to premature babies, it would unnecessarily cruel to feed them milk that isn’t the best it can be.

[NRatched]

@AngeloMysterioso

He wanted to donate to a milk bank as well. Imagine being a Mum so desperate to give your baby breast milk that you resort to a milk bank and unknowingly feeding them whatever comes out of him.

It makes me feel ill.

Surely no milk bank would accept such 'donations'? I know they probably need as much help as possible but surely that cannot extend to breast milk squeezed from males because of shitloads of domperidone (admittedly amazing stuff for the right reasons, I would have had no supply at all if not for this) and whatever other drugs?!

Tigger I am so sorry this has happened to you, and reading things such as this must be so upsetting. Its upsetting for me, and I have not been through what you have

[Cocothefirst]

Tigger

[vivariumvivariumsvivaria]

the expression of disappointment is grooming everyone for round 2, i reckon.

[Ereshkigalangcleg]

I guess it's just further attention seeking, isn't it.

[QuimReaper]

The individual in question is now having a right old moan that it 'didn't go to plan' because it didn't last long enough and 'wasn't painful enough'

Sorry, how on earth does that work? Surely it lasted for as long as they liked?

[Tiredof]

Tigger I have no words. I hope you get some proper care and emotional support. I’m so sorry for all your losses and pain 💐

[Ereshkigalangcleg]

The worst of it was, as the debate continued, I felt like the transwoman’s narrative subtly shifted to more closely mirror my experiences.

I once read an article by a woman who had to leave a sexual assault survivor group got this exact reason, that she felt the MTF person was using the group to create a plausible backstory and practice emotions.