Darkmilk and Bonkers, thank you for sharing your experiences on this thread. I had no 8dea this was something that Naturists did with their children, I always assumed it was something some parents might do on their first holiday alone once their children were grown up.
Darkmilk, hope you're okay. Counselling sounds like a good idea. Part of the shame you feel probably comes with the very uncomfortable knowledge that your dad was sexually abusive. That's not a nice thing to realise, and I'm sure you realised it before, subconsciously, but tried to keep it suppressed because it's so awful to think about. Also, that realisation that you didn't speak up for yourself and say no is a really hard thing to come to terms with. That sounds victim-blamey, I don't mean it to, it's impossible for women and girls to say no sometimes but it doesn't stop it making it all hard to process. And that knowledge that you have struggled to say "no" before makes you feel very vulnerable for the future.
I hope that doesn’t sound awful, I'm not very good at explaining myself.
As for the Naturist community not being full of pedos. Well, I'm sure there are many genuine naturists there, but like every other group were access to children has lower safeguarding barriers, pedos and abusers will gravitate towards them, just like Oxford, Saville, Catholic Church, and countless other examples, as we all know.