Toilets for all

[marniedes]

Was out for some dinner and drinks last night went to use the toilets and this is what they were. Most toilet seats were up and when I went to wash my hands there was a guy washing his who looked as uncomfortable as I felt! Why why why are places doing this!

Were the toilet cubicles floor to ceiling? That set up would put me off visiting that restuarant again.

I don't like this but the only positive thing I can say about it is that at least it's not 'men's toilets' and 'women's and everyone who feels they want to use the women's toilets' like so many other places are.

Although I don't like the idea of this, I do like the way it sidesteps the problem of people who would be unwelcome in the ladies getting their validation by using the ladies knowing that no one will dare stop them.

But ultimately, no. This isn't fair on women. We should have our own toilets.

Yikes! I wouldn’t be comfortable with that and I’m sure DH wouldn’t either!!
I was at our local leisure centre with mixed sex changing and an older guy walked in and realised that there were women in there and panicked and nearly ran out again. I don’t think the great British public are ready to deal with mixed sex toilet arrangements.

Toilet cubicles weren't floor to ceiling just normal there was about 15 in there in a big room I felt so uncomfortable the whole time it's just so strange - I was thinking if I was on a first date or something they'd be nowhere I could go and call a friend for help for example and feel safe. It's just mad and as I said the man there was just as uncomfortable didn't look at me and just moved away quickly

It's a new bar that's only just popped up so I fear this will be the new normal

Until men all sit down to piss I really don't want to be sharing a toilet with them, especially after a few drinks.

Was at a mixed sex loo recently with floor to ceiling completely contained units. Fine.

Save for the bloke peeing with the door wide open behind him.

Urge fought to explain to him that I'm sure he has a very lovely penis, but no one needs to see it and that's why it's basic social skills that we teach very young children how to be socially appropriate with their bodies and toilet training skills.

I don't want to be in an enclosed space with a male demonstrating major issues around boundaries and socially appropriate behaviour, with his genitals naked in his hand.

We have some toilets in our indoor market that are enclosed cubicles with sanitary bins in and when you come out there’s a communal sink (circular with about 4 water and soap dispensers, not really taps) and two hand dryers. If it has to be mixed these feel pretty safe and good. Dunno how that would work elsewhere though.

Why don't we just make ALL public toilets individual floor-to-ceiling contained units with washbasins, plus some larger units for the disabled, people with young kids etc.

Then we don't have to have this argument about who is allowed into what toilet. Ever again

@MichelleofzeResistance

"I don't want to be in an enclosed space with a male demonstrating major issues around boundaries and socially appropriate behaviour, with his genitals naked in his hand."

This is something you have in common with most trans women.

We have some toilets in our indoor market that are enclosed cubicles with sanitary bins in and when you come out there’s a communal sink (circular with about 4 water and soap dispensers, not really taps) and two hand dryers. If it has to be mixed these feel pretty safe and good. Dunno how that would work elsewhere though.

I have endometriosis. A couple of the days of the month, I bleed like a burst dam. I often have blood on my fingers/hand after inserting a tampon I bleed that much. Even wiping with a tissue doesn't get rid of the blood stains. I really wouldn't feel comfortable using a sink to wash my hands off with a man standing next to me.

Bear with me for a moment.
If we're heading towards a future where all humans do all activities in gender and sex non-specific ways (because absolutely nothing defines us in any way except our thoughts) then surely urinals are transphobic/non-gender neutral.

A public sanitary device that requires a specific type of genital (or prosthetic) to use sounds out of step, even archaic. Perhaps even a touch hate-crimey.

Is it time for these relics to be removed? Men (sorry, penis owners), who repeatedly assure the world that they simply don't mind who is next to them in a toilet and women shouldn't either, will surely be happy to switch completely to floor to ceiling toilet cubicals. The resultant queues will allow them time to feel delightfully equal.

This is something you have in common with most trans women.

I should think I probably have it in common with most decent people regardless of their sex or gender.

The problem is that in mixed sex spaces, even with floor to ceiling cubicles, some males will behave like this. This shouldn't be something females are compelled to suck up for the wider benefit of people born male. And some females will find this far more threatening than others, with some unable to use spaces at all under these conditions. Which is why female only spaces need to be provided in addition to whatever other facilities are provided.

Michelle, I was pretty surprised to read somewhere that it's normal toilet etiquette for men who use cubicles for a pee to leave the door open. I don't know the truth of that, I don't use the gents. But yes, another arguement for keeping toilets single sex.

@michelle1504

We have some toilets in our indoor market that are enclosed cubicles with sanitary bins in and when you come out there’s a communal sink (circular with about 4 water and soap dispensers, not really taps) and two hand dryers. If it has to be mixed these feel pretty safe and good. Dunno how that would work elsewhere though.

I have endometriosis. A couple of the days of the month, I bleed like a burst dam. I often have blood on my fingers/hand after inserting a tampon I bleed that much. Even wiping with a tissue doesn't get rid of the blood stains. I really wouldn't feel comfortable using a sink to wash my hands off with a man standing next to me.

I sympathise with you. I know they’re not ideal for everyone but I think a set up like this with a couple of enclosed toilets with sinks as well (there’s a disabled toilet too but I’ve not been in it so I don’t know if that has a sink I assume it should) is probably the best we can expect right now.

I’m not 100% happy with them as they have bands and beer some nights and I would not like to be the only woman waiting in that situation, although I doubt it would be as bad as a nightclub.

It’s shit that so many places have just stuck a sign on the ladies saying “anyone” and this seems like the best we can expect.

I'm surprised the picture showed a man and a women? It just seems unnecessary if a trans women wants to use the women's toilet I don't have a problem with that - I don't feel comfortable going to the toilet with men there and men feel uncomfortable too who is winning here?

Are they mad?
Do they not want any female customers?
I don’t want gender neutral toilets, not even self contained cubicles with sinks. I want women’s toilets, for women. Like we have af for decades.
Self contained unfortunately doesn’t allow for all the uses women need women’s toilets for:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3203454-What-do-you-use-the-womens-toilets-for

This is something you have in common with most trans women.

Most trans women, possibly the considerable majority, have no intention of changing their genital configuration.

[quote MiladyRenata]@MichelleofzeResistance

"I don't want to be in an enclosed space with a male demonstrating major issues around boundaries and socially appropriate behaviour, with his genitals naked in his hand."

This is something you have in common with most trans women.[/quote]
I’ll give you this, Milady - you are both consistent and persistent...

I don't want to be in an enclosed space with a male demonstrating major issues around boundaries and socially appropriate behaviour, with his genitals naked in his hand

Except young boys are socialised to stand next to two others with their back to people with a queue of others a few feet behind them. It is not necessarily the case that he is deciding to push boundaries even if he is being inconsiderate by at least not pushing the door closed. in a men's no one would bat an eyelid at a guy peeing with the door open.
It is also common in busy pubs and clubs for women to come in to use cubicles and it's not like you can stop mid pee so peeing with you back to people and having little privacy is what you do 99.9% of the time.

I can't see how you would see his penis unless he was transparent.

Very happy to share a toilet with women and trans women. Not happy to share a toilet with cismen.

My work lot want to go again next week so I can take a picture of the inside then but it's 15 cubicles an easily 6 foot odd man could look over I'm 5 foot 11 and wasn't far off being able too. As I said it's not anything to do with trans women and i wouldn't have any problem with someone using the women's toilets who didn't seem to conform to looking like a women as they've made a decision to use that toilet. I'm so angry that a decision has been made to say women and men's toilet it isn't even gender neutral

I'm 28 and most the people I work with that go out for food and drinks are around my age it didn't seem to bother any of them so I thought maybe I was being unreasonable one of them called me a terf which was odd as I hadn't even mentioned trans men or women

There's no way I'd go there again and I would write to the owners telling them why, plus leave some feedback and a rating on their tripadvisor and Google reviews. Why aren't women allowed to decide who is welcome in their spaces?

I don't want to be in an enclosed space with a male demonstrating major issues around boundaries and socially appropriate behaviour, with his genitals naked in his hand.

Why should you or any woman be expected to accept this? I avoid places with unisex toilets and hope the loss of trade will eventually restore us our single-sex facilities.