Would you change your sex?

[LunaPlena]

I mean if there were any magic that made it possible. Like you ask your fairy godmother and you wake up tomorrow being a real man.

I thought about this yesterday for the first time in a while. I went to walk to the woods alone (never done it before) and instead of enjoy it I felt scared. How not to? I've been groped, aggresively catcalled, followed, grabbed by the neck and so on, at least hundred of times. And this happened in plain daylight with other people around (streets, concerts, buses...), how am I going to feel safe alone in a place where nobody is going to hear me if I scream?

The point is, I felt frustrated, I felt like I'm in an invisible jail that society can not (or don't want to) see and I can't escape. I tried to look for solutions: Should I carry a weapon? No, that's dangerous. Should I cut my hair and dress like a man? No, I don't even look like one. And then I thought this, if it were really possible to change, I would do it.

I want to be a man and escape so many jails, the make up, the waxing, the uncomfortable clothes, the sexualising, the shit partners, the abuse and the fear. And all this mental burden that is always there like a heavy rock.

So have you ever felt like this or it's just me being odd/weak/crazy?

Yes.

Some of those “jails” are self inflicted, OP. I never wear make up, I’ve never waxed anything, I often walk on local hills or in forests alone, I don’t choose shit partners (my late DH was an absolute darling and the love of my life).
The demographic most likely to be assaulted is in fact young men. Possibly because they are out on the street in higher numbers, and alcohol may well be involved, or gang violence, but they are still more likely to be punched or beaten up than a woman.
Why not do some martial arts training such as krav maga, so you feel confident you can floor any attacker and get yourself safely away? Enjoy life as an empowered feminist woman, rather than wishing you were a bloke. Who wants a body that can’t experience multiple orgasm, will never carry a child, can’t breastfeed and will die earlier on average than a female one?!

If you really mean "would you change sex", and you're not talking about gender, then hell yes!

Going to the toilet without getting half naked
No boobs bobbing up and down when you run
No periods
No high heals (not that I wear them)
Comfy underwear
No silly strappy dresses for going out
No ££ spend on makeup
Being able to lose 1 stone overnight just by declaring yourself on a diet

And that's without all the advantages of the patriarchy in the job field, household chores field, etc

*heels

Not any more I wouldn't.

As a child/teenager, hell yes. Up until I hit menopause and my periods stopped my body was an absolute PITA. But I did come into my own as a mother, and even more so as an old woman .

I'm looking forwarding to outliving the men my age, and becoming a grumpy, opinionated, don't-give-a-shit old woman.

I suspect my kids would say I'm already there.

I think I’d probably like to change back and forth as necessary.

I like hereto men so I’d be out of luck if it was full time I also like my clitoris quite a lot. I like that even though it was hard I’m the one that grew and birthed my daughter. I like women, they’re great. I like that I’m part of that.

But yeah, the safety thing would be nice.

I used to sometimes think that, but really, if I were on a desert island or somewhere without any men around, I probably wouldn't care. It's the cultural things imposed on the female sex that I have a problem with, not being female itself. And growing up with those cultural things, gender expectations, it makes it hard to disentangle them from your sex. I'm trying to reframe it now in my mind, and enjoying things like lifting weights and getting stronger and celebrating what my body can do - good lower body strength and low centre of gravity makes women good at wrestling and grappling (whenever I've had to defend myself against men, I've been able to trip or throw them, kick them or push their arm back when they've tried to punch me - they're better at punching but we can kick like a mule and topple their top-heavy bodies over while we keep our balance with our wide sturdy legs), and we're very good at long slow endurance trials like climbing mountains or swimming the Channel, that sort of thing. We aren't as good at high impact sudden exercise as men, but we have much stronger constitutions and can do more low impact for longer. That in itself is something to be proud of and cultivate, I think.

Just for a day, not permanently. Just to see what it was like.
I’d like to have strong muscles. I’m trying to build mine up, but there’s only so much I can do.

As for carrying a weapon, check the laws in your area for what you're allowed to carry, and get some training in how to use whatever you choose. I can definitely recommend unarmed self defence training as well, and learning how to handle a walking stick or small (legal) blade or sharp spike object like an awl or even a pen. The big risk with those is an attacker taking them off you and then using them on you, so learn to use them properly and check your local laws, and learn how to disable the guy with minimal force - yes, if a creep attacks a woman he deserves everything he gets but you have to keep yourself safe and keep the right side of the law. Most martial arts and defence systems will teach minimal force (eg stabbing his upper arm when he swings a punch at you, so his arm is injured and he can't keep attacking as easily, but you haven't damaged any organs and won't be risking a manslaughter charge). Keep yourself safe first and foremost and don't get into fights if you can help it - if that means just brandishing the weapon and then running away when he steps back, yes, it looks a bit silly but it keeps you safe! Done it a few times myself, looked embarrassing but I didn't care.

Nope. Absolutely not.

I am proud of my shared biology, history and endeavours. I don't shave, wax, primp, preen or wear make up. I lift weights, run, hike and explore forests and mountains alone. I am strong and capable and a lot of that is determined by my biology. I fight to be a strong woman, not a strong person. I have never felt more sure that I AM a woman and you can't co-opt that role. It has implications and I am enjoying exploring the limits of them. I have no wish to transform them into an entirely different challenge.

The vast majority of women, trained or not will freeze when attacked. The absolute best form of defence, if you are able, is RLF. And make all the noise you can.

No, I had a period as a child where I was convinced I was a boy. Other than that, I've never wanted to change my sex and I don't think my life would be better if I did. Different in some ways, but not better.

I don't think I'd want to change if I were a man, either, but that's a guess of course.

A temporary change would be interesting, to see what it was like. Though I think it would be very strange.

I've never really not done anything I wanted to because of my sex, though, whether it was walk to the movies at night in a bad part of town, join the army, study a male dominated university subject. Being a woman was something that impacted me in various ways in some of these things, but I've never thought - gee, I can't do that.

Maybe for a week or so, just to see what it was like.

Yes

Yes I would switch. The main reason being that I love my job and I'd love to have a set up where I could have kids without sacrificing my career. I know loads of men with amazing jobs who get the benefit of kids without the pregnancy, breastfeeding and general expectation that they'll be the default parent. Stay at home dads are very rare and, even if you find a man who's up for that, as a woman you still have to do the pregnancy/labour bit. It really pisses me off hearing all my male friends talk about how amazing it is to have kids when their wives are at home doing all the hard work for them.

I wouldn’t - I am happy being female.

And I know this will sound exceedingly lazy, but I got to be the stay-at-home parent, and have never gone back to work - and I like my lifestyle - a bit of domesticity, reading, doing crafts - and if I was a man, I might have to go back to work.

No. I've spent a long time making peace with who I am as a person (in general, not my sex), and I wouldn't change that now. I am a woman, I'm happy with that.

Maybe for an hour or two. It would be nice to pee standing up and be a bit taller.

“The demographic most likely to be assaulted is in fact young men”

Maybe, Babcock, but maybe that is a data gap (as described in “invisible women”)

No, I wouldn't change my biology or the commonality of lived experience I have had with some other women on the basis of having that biology and how it has played out socially for me.

choose shit partners

I'm a big Babdoc fan as it goes, but are we really putting this on the FWR board. Genuinely, genuinely thought I'd picked well - has been one of the most profoundly upsetting realisations of my life (and I'm getting old now) to understand what was going on in my relationship - you'd never have guessed on the surface and no-one who knows us would ever think it. And loads of evidence that in men with the potential, abuse often starts after marriage/moving in or pregnancy/first kid - it's almost a flowchart for how things will progress.

Also very western skew in terms of attacks on women. Agree men kill themselves, each other and women in the highest numbers (they really need to sort that out) but women in the west have the means to protect ourselves from some attacks as we can actually make lifestyle choices that prevent it. In much of the world, women and girls are exposed in their workplaces, toileting, having to walk for food and water. Read a very upsetting article about sexual exploitation of women in garment factories in Lesotho.

No. I used to badly want to change sex when I was younger but I’ve now realised that all the wishing on stars to have a penis, was my child’s mind way of wanting the abuse to stop. I actually love that I’m a woman, I love that I can carry babies etc. I wouldn’t change if I could, unless it was for like a day or something just for curiosity’s sake, then I would lol

No because men are stuck in their own jails too.
Granted it gives them a bit more freedom than us. And it probably makes them feel safer.
But from where I stand, there seem to be issues with being a man too (see the high level of suicide for example)

The demographic most likely to be assaulted is in fact young men

I believe this is true, but a lot the time I think the reason is that women completely avoid situations where they are likely to be assaulted.

Wow! Very interesting points have been made so far. I really like how diverse are our mindset

@AlbusSirius You made me laugh so much! I also want to become a grumpy, opinionated, don't-give-a-shit old woman! I always said that.

@Suffrajester Thanks for all that information, very useful.