Would you change your sex?

[LunaPlena]

I mean if there were any magic that made it possible. Like you ask your fairy godmother and you wake up tomorrow being a real man.

I thought about this yesterday for the first time in a while. I went to walk to the woods alone (never done it before) and instead of enjoy it I felt scared. How not to? I've been groped, aggresively catcalled, followed, grabbed by the neck and so on, at least hundred of times. And this happened in plain daylight with other people around (streets, concerts, buses...), how am I going to feel safe alone in a place where nobody is going to hear me if I scream?

The point is, I felt frustrated, I felt like I'm in an invisible jail that society can not (or don't want to) see and I can't escape. I tried to look for solutions: Should I carry a weapon? No, that's dangerous. Should I cut my hair and dress like a man? No, I don't even look like one. And then I thought this, if it were really possible to change, I would do it.

I want to be a man and escape so many jails, the make up, the waxing, the uncomfortable clothes, the sexualising, the shit partners, the abuse and the fear. And all this mental burden that is always there like a heavy rock.

So have you ever felt like this or it's just me being odd/weak/crazy?

WoollyHeadedMammoth -- you've got it all sorted! I'd add a useful willy for picnics and hiking, because peeing in the bushes is one of the few occasions I find my female body a nuisance.

Now we just need the technology. Or the magic ....

Honestly no, i don't have a very high opinion of men in general, so i certainly wouldn't want to be one. I also wouldn't give up being a mother for anything.

@thinkingaboutLangCleg

someone will be along to tell you don’t really like those things [doing hair and make-up and wearing nice clothes] - it's just social conditioning

No, that's not what women say. It's fine for anyone to enjoy dressing up etc. And it's fine not to care about it too.

But pretending that all women naturally like those things, and if they don't they're not proper women (and if men do, they're not proper men) -- that is social conditioning.

Big difference.

I've been told on here several times my preference in clothes is just social conditioning.

Some of those “jails” are self inflicted, OP.

Exactly what I was thinking babdoc.

Plus, who the fuck would want to use the men's toilets?

No, I wouldn't change into a man.
Instead, I'd make every man become female for a while so that they understood what it entails.

At different times, of course. So that there are still men around to inflict onto them the misogyny that we experience.

Yes. I would like a bigger, taller, stronger male body. It would make life so much easier. I would like not to have periods, fear of pregnancy, menopause. I would like the reliable sex drive of a man. The easier to achieve orgasm. To not have a hormonal cycle. I would like to be the default human in our society.

When I was a child I desperately wanted to be a boy. As an adult I've accepted that isn't possible, at least in the regular sense, but if I could wave a magic wand and become male and have been male from birth, I would.

Nope! I’m happy with the sex as I was assigned before birth

Being a man poses a different set of problems (I'm not saying worse or lesser just different)

My dh constantly stresses himself out that he will lose his job, because he supports the family and my earning potential is not as high as his.
He was married before and his ex desided to leave him for another man and move halfway across the country taking their young child with her. He had no choice in this. Not somthing most mothers need to worry about. But it would kill me.
DH has to worry about aggression from other males and keeping his own aggression in check - not so much now but when he was younger getting into fights but also not looking weak and getting taken advantage of is a real issue for men.
DH struggled with his weight and has more hang ups with his looks than me. Many men feel a real pressure to be muscly. Women can feel body confident while still being pretty put of shape and just using hair/make up and clothes.

He wouldn't have wanted too, but I get to be pregnant, I get to have the motherhood bond with the babies.

The list will be different for different people. But everyone has a list of things that make their life hard based on their sex. Changing sex just changes the list.

I have been a victim of male harassment, violence and rape by multiple men at multiple times in my life. Yes men can go out drinking and partying without worrying about being raped. But they can also end up having their head kicked in. Or with a criminal record because they defended themselves and got in a fight. It's swings and roundabouts really.

Thinking about it, I think I would have liked to have more job opportunities like a man.
I like the idea of being a trades man. Work for yourself, working with your hands out of an office environment, earn good money, have a good useful skill. But it's such a male dominated environment I wouldn't feel comfortable. Also I'm not strong enough and tools are made for mens hands.

But I wouldn't change into a man just to become a plasterer. I'd just prefer if women had the same opportunities. Female self employed jobs tend to be lower paid and based around beauty, which means chatting and touching people - not for me.

I like the idea of being a trades man. Work for yourself, working with your hands out of an office environment, earn good money, have a good useful skill. But it's such a male dominated environment I wouldn't feel comfortable. Also I'm not strong enough and tools are made for mens hands.

I’m building some low brick walls in the garden at the moment and it would be so much faster if I could actually hold a brick the way they are intended to be handled, but I just don’t have enough hand span.

I’d love to work a trade (seeing as my fancy arts education didn’t amount to anything in the real world 😂) but I couldn’t even unclip the battery on my last but one power driver, due to my sodding hand span!
I’ve bought a more streamlined one now.

No because men are stuck in their own jails too.Granted it gives them a bit more freedom than us. And it probably makes them feel safer.
But from where I stand, there seem to be issues with being a man too (see the high level of suicide for example)

It would be a trade off. I suggest men are subject to as many restrictions and impositions as women, albeit of a different nature and kind. In certain respects women are accorded more freedom of expression, and also in certain ways are generally treated more kindly than men.

I wouldn't want to be a man, because I want to be able to be pregnant and have children.

However, I do think that women face fear and threat from men in a way that men do not. I really sympathise with OP about the feeling of fear when walking alone in the woods.

I don't think that's just a self-inflicted jail. I used to believe that, but I've had a number of deeply creepy experiences of encountering men when alone somewhere isolated:

• Running in a park at twilight and finding a man standing in the bushes watching me. Who then crossed over to the other side of the park to intersect me again in a darker area. I bricked it and went home.
• Fixing a puncture on a solo ride and having the same 4x4 pass me twice on an empty road, then stop and ask me if I wanted to come up to the barn where they had some compressed air for my bike. Needless to say I did not.
• Car stopping alongside a narrow pavement whan I was running alone. The driver was apparently asking for directions, but he opened the passenger door to do so and nearly blocked the pavement entirely. Seemed surprised when I flattened myself into a bush to get past.
• Uber driver in America (who was also really racist) ranting for most of the (late night) journey about how all women are whores (his ex wife in particular), then grilling me about my religion and what church I went to.

In each of these cases, nothing bad happened. Perhaps they were totally innocuous and I'm over-reacting. But they were very scary at the time and I think that to deny that fear feels unnecessarily naive.

So no, I don't want to be a man. But I also wish that I didn't have to feel afraid because of the slim but real chance that a creepy experience suddenly becomes scary and dangerous.

Interesting thread, OP. I'd love for this to be a possibility, especially for the most vociferous on either side of the divide. It's a great way of finding out both the truths and myths of how one sex has things so much better than the other.

And for those women saying that they want no part of being the sex responsible for all the atrocities in the world - would any of you renounce your race too in favour of being another ethnicity?

I'd rather not have experienced the rough edges of life that are peculiar to being female - sexual assault and harassment, maternity related job and income loss, it being societally sanctioned for a man to duck out of parental responsibilities post relationship split, the woeful lack of understanding re gynae issues and the paucity of workable treatment choices available etc - we are financially and physically disadvantaged, no doubt about it.

However, female bodies are awesome and I'm glad I had one, even now at 50 where it's going wrong. I love my long term friends and the solidarity we have. I look at the men around us and they're kind of weak in comparison. I'd rather be like me and my friends than like my ex and his friends and my friends' exes. Even if they've had an easier ride.

Socially and practically disadvantaged, that is.

@GunsAndShips

The vast majority of women, trained or not will freeze when attacked. The absolute best form of defence, if you are able, is RLF. And make all the noise you can.

Other useful ideas. Get a BIG dog. Carry a personal alarm. Carry a small can of hairspray, it stings the eyes enough to cause panic and is legal in the UK unlike Mace or pepper spay. Then RLF.

From my personal experience of men: need to wank, a lot. Cant sayno to any offered vagina gets maf if someone kooksat them funny/overtakes them/turns them down. Ew. No thanks. Would never want to be an animal.

@GunsAndShips @Gottalife I was trying to look cool and knowledgeable, waiting for someone else to ask, but nobody seems as clueless as me so I will have to do it myself. What is RLF? Google tells me it's Real Life Friend, but I'm sure you're not telling me to make friends with the attacker

What is RLF?

Run like f**k

I've been groped, aggresively catcalled, followed, grabbed by the neck and so on, at least hundred of times.

This behaviour still happens towards men so becoming a man isn't going to solve your problem.

@Gronky

What is RLF?

Run like f**k

Hahahaha love it! Thanks a lot!

Alabamawhirly1
And I imagine this is what these young females attempting to transition don't even realize. They are identifying out of some jails and into others, and it could be that reality that hits them after they are recogized as and treated as men. Ditto trans mtf though the older transitioners may be more aware what they are getting into.

My other lame reason for saying no is working with children. Though an IT worker I sometimes teach children piano or flute after school at least before lockdown, I know several male teachers who feel very vulnerable bringing children into their house for lessons. Likewise the odd childminding for friends.

The grass is always greener on the side of nature.

I’d love to work a trade (seeing as my fancy arts education didn’t amount to anything in the real world 😂) but I couldn’t even unclip the battery on my last but one power driver, due to my sodding hand span!
I’ve bought a more streamlined one now.

I do loads of diy round the house and garden and just find the tools so hard to manage. Is anyone actually making womens sized tools yet.

Gardening tools seem to be more of a unisex size but I guess that's because women are allowed to garden - but we need to keep away from the power drills and saws.

But the other side of the same coin is baby stuff is always "mum" sized. I'm a tall woman and have never had a pram that I can comfortably push as they are too low. Dh has to proper hunch over.