Would you change your sex?

[LunaPlena]

I mean if there were any magic that made it possible. Like you ask your fairy godmother and you wake up tomorrow being a real man.

I thought about this yesterday for the first time in a while. I went to walk to the woods alone (never done it before) and instead of enjoy it I felt scared. How not to? I've been groped, aggresively catcalled, followed, grabbed by the neck and so on, at least hundred of times. And this happened in plain daylight with other people around (streets, concerts, buses...), how am I going to feel safe alone in a place where nobody is going to hear me if I scream?

The point is, I felt frustrated, I felt like I'm in an invisible jail that society can not (or don't want to) see and I can't escape. I tried to look for solutions: Should I carry a weapon? No, that's dangerous. Should I cut my hair and dress like a man? No, I don't even look like one. And then I thought this, if it were really possible to change, I would do it.

I want to be a man and escape so many jails, the make up, the waxing, the uncomfortable clothes, the sexualising, the shit partners, the abuse and the fear. And all this mental burden that is always there like a heavy rock.

So have you ever felt like this or it's just me being odd/weak/crazy?

I'd LOVE to be able to switch at will. My female body is great for most things: I'm used to it, I know how it works, and it already has a carefully-curated wardrobe that caters to all of its glories and foibles. But - especially as a frequent solo traveller - I do think how convenient it would be to have a back-up male one for things like, say, walking alone in an unfamiliar/dodgy area. Or sleeping on a night train or on the deck of a night ferry or in a cheap hostel dorm. Or going wild camping alone. Or commenting on politics without "inviting" rape threats.

I imagine it working as having two sets of body/presentation. I'd keep my current body for "girl mode", but I'd want my "boy mode" body to be what I envision it would be if I'd been born male. My brothers are over six feet, built like line backers, and hairy (but very blonde) - no male-pattern baldness in this crew! Given that I'm a touch under 5'7" and kind of a lightweight but with visible breasts and hips, I'm imagining needing two full sets of clothing - not because my aspects would need separate "gendered" wardrobes, but just so stuff fits properly and comfortably.

Two separate wardrobes would be inconvenient for travelling, though. As well as for a busy day with multiple transformations: would I have to carry around all my changes of clothing all day? The UK has helpfully installed unisex loos in many places, so both of my bodies could use them without guilt or controversy - but what would I do in, say, Dubai or Tehran? Ideally I'd want a way that when I snapped my fingers to change sex, I could also order an occasion-appropriate outfit that would arrive with my new body and then obediently vanish back into the ether the next time I transformed:

14:00 - Chairing a business meeting with a bunch of unruly sexist bigwigs? Male body, please, in a navy Stefano Ricci tropical-weight wool suit and some smart Russell & Bromley cordoban leather brogues. Snap!

17:00 - Getting ready to accept my Influential Business Woman of the Year Award? Female body is de rigeur - in an understated leaf-green Givenchy cocktail dress, Louboutin heels, and a massive sparkly necklace. (Oh, and if you could do a neat chignon and some slightly-glam-but-not-too-OTT makeup, Gender Fairy, it'd be much appreciated - I'm all thumbs, myself.) Snap!

22:00 - Out to walk the dog alone? Bloke is best: worn-in jeans, muscle T, trainers, black leather jacket. Snap!

23:45 - Bedtime at last! I'm more comfortable sleeping without the bollocks, so back to womanhood in a comfy camisole and cotton jersey shorts. Snap! And zzzzz.

Ahh, that's the life!

@AsTreesWalking, I did that too as a child/teenager. Probably less now.
But I am sure this had some impact on me and how I saw myself, incl what I could achieve etc... (my work as well as my hobbies have always been more ‘Male’ than female for example. Same for my aspirations, what I wanted/want to achieve etc...)

Nope. I like being me.

No thanks. Would never want to be a man.

I would love to be a lot stronger Without nearly as much effort, be able to do a pull up, Carry and lift, that sort of thing. I wouldn’t Be pleased with the increased risk of death. Also still planning to have more kids so unless my husband became female as well There’d be a problem.

I think I’d quite enjoy having a penis TBH, They are quite fun as it is.

@WoollyHeadedMammoth Love it! You've made my day

Never. Despite the obvious downsides of being female, I think from a very young age I saw it as a personal challenge to fight against expected gender roles.

I would like a willy so I can play with it all day. I can grab it and adjust it and no one will bat an eyelid.
I won’t need to shave at all as I can be a hairy gorilla all I like and no one will judge me.
I’ll also be paid more and throw my male privilege all around and have fuck all to worry about as this world was built for me and no one else.
I’d be able to go to sleep at the drop of a hat as nothing worries me, I have no conscience and I’ll sleep soundly, because quite frankly, not only does the world revolve around me, I’ve got some woman to sort everything out for me scratches balls

Certainly fucking not!

Nope.
Life's a piece of shit
if you look at it
but always look on the bright side of life

I'd rather have been brought up in a different country
but that is a whole new can of worms

But @Longdistance you can play with your clitoris all day if you like.
Our bits are just as good as their bits, if not better.

Absolutely not. I'm perfectly happy being a woman, I like my female biology and I wouldn't want to change sex for anything. I've been lucky enough to give birth three times, in my opinion that's the single most awesome thing the human body can do.

No absolutely not. So much of what is in the OP's post bears no resemblance to my life. Definitely not the invisible jails and terrible partners.

I want to be a man and escape so many jails, the make up, the waxing, the uncomfortable clothes

You don't have to wax. I've never done it.

And "uncomfortable clothes" ? Really? Every single item of female clothing is uncomfortable? Not buying that at all.

I feel sorry for men who have such limited choices in clothes. I like a man in a well cut suit but men's casual clothes are sooo boring.

@folklord

No i love being a woman. I like doing my hair and makeup and wearing nice clothes. I would hate to have to wear a suit and tie everyday rather than dresses. I can't think of anything worse than being a hairy or bald man

Me too but I'm sure someone will be along to tell you don’t really like those things- it's just social conditioning

@LunaPlena

The demographic most likely to be assaulted is in fact young men

I know this data always pop so much into conversations but this is only half true. Men get assaulted mostly because men get into fights or as a consequence of a previous one as revenge. I haven't met any men that have been punched just because (well, only my friend who is gay, but this was homophobic attack and my lesbian friend was attacked too). Instead I've been slapped, as I said before grabbed by the neck, and groped and sure so many women had the same experiences. So are we really implying that men have it worst? That they should be the ones scared walking alone?

Of course, feel free to disagree with me, but I have always thought that data it's really detrimental for women and hide the truth.

I do think some young men have it worse when it comes to violence, perhaps it’s also a class issue though? I’ve only come across a small number of young women who have been involved in gang or drug related violence, but I know lots of young men who have. The perpetrators of violence against men are almost always other men, of course.

Young women have it worse when it comes to sexual violence and intimate partner violence and often struggle with their mental health in their teens and early 20s in part due to the way girls bully each other, compared to how boys bully each other.

And as a previous poster mention, girls have been taught for generations to avoid situations where you are likely to be vulnerable to stranger violence (go everywhere in pairs, get taxis, don’t get too out of it etc)

Recognising the differences doesn’t make it a competition as to who suffers more though, it just indicates the need for different ways of mitigating and resolving the issues.

Not in a million years. I love being a woman. I loved carrying children. I even enjoy my period.

The things that I don't like about being a woman are nothing to do with me, they're the world's problems and worth (usually) fighting to change. Why should we be scared to walk about at night? Why should we be dismissed, ignored, judged, patronised, etc, just by virtue of our sex?

I think I've always felt very deeply and strongly that while many things in the world could be fixed up to be more efficient, sensible and kinder, for women, men and the planet in general, there's absolutely nothing wrong with my woman's body.

There have been many occasions when it's appealed: after work meetings when I'd happily have punched a male colleague for patronising me, undermining me and/or repeating my ideas back as if they were his own (some cliches are cliches because they're true), when my ideas haven't been taken seriously, when I'm getting ready to go out and I can't be arsed to put on the face, when I'm out and wishing I could blend in like 'blokes' do, rather than stand out like a woman with big tits, when I'm wearing high heels (although tbh I've pretty much given up on them), when I want to protect my female friends from unwanted attention, when I've been approached by unpredictable people in isolated circumstances, when I'm on my own on a dark street etc etc. Having said all of that the things that men have to do to be considered 'men' don't appeal to me at all & nowadays, after years of self loathing and self distancing, I love my womanhood, my shoddy, wobbly body that bleeds and has borne two amazing children and I love the intimacy and hilarity of the the relationships that I have with women who I can talk to about all of the above.

No way. I absolutely love being female. Being pregnant, giving birth and breastfeeding my children has been life-affirming for me.

I haven't shaved my legs in over a year and have worn make up twice in the last decade and really, no one cares.

I'd like to be taller which statistically would be more likely in a male body, I suppose.

@Nuffaluff but, if I did that, I’d be stared at and told off. If I played with my balls as a man, no one will bat an eyelid.

As a young child and teenager absolutely yes boys had the freedom I craved and I desperately wanted to be a boy

Working also yes as so so tired of repeatedly having to prove myself

However I've loved being a mum so no

Like a shot. I've always hated the female parts of my body, particularly boobs, now in perimenopause and after having a child and bf, I loathe it even more (and how it lied to me) I'd do anything to be free of it

No.
I like women much better. Look around at all the havoc wreaked by the men. No thanks.

Noooooo

Why not do some martial arts training such as krav maga, so you feel confident you can floor any attacker and get yourself safely away?

if only. Unless you reach the highest level (and how many hours a day do you want to spend training?), you're very unlikely to floor an able-bodied male attacker, unless he is very drunk. He also has the advantage of choosing the time and place to attack you.

Martial arts may build your strength and co-ordination. But they only give you a small advantage over an untrained woman, and probably none over a male attacker.

someone will be along to tell you don’t really like those things [doing hair and make-up and wearing nice clothes] - it's just social conditioning

No, that's not what women say. It's fine for anyone to enjoy dressing up etc. And it's fine not to care about it too.

But pretending that all women naturally like those things, and if they don't they're not proper women (and if men do, they're not proper men) -- that is social conditioning.

Big difference.