Would you change your sex?

[LunaPlena]

I mean if there were any magic that made it possible. Like you ask your fairy godmother and you wake up tomorrow being a real man.

I thought about this yesterday for the first time in a while. I went to walk to the woods alone (never done it before) and instead of enjoy it I felt scared. How not to? I've been groped, aggresively catcalled, followed, grabbed by the neck and so on, at least hundred of times. And this happened in plain daylight with other people around (streets, concerts, buses...), how am I going to feel safe alone in a place where nobody is going to hear me if I scream?

The point is, I felt frustrated, I felt like I'm in an invisible jail that society can not (or don't want to) see and I can't escape. I tried to look for solutions: Should I carry a weapon? No, that's dangerous. Should I cut my hair and dress like a man? No, I don't even look like one. And then I thought this, if it were really possible to change, I would do it.

I want to be a man and escape so many jails, the make up, the waxing, the uncomfortable clothes, the sexualising, the shit partners, the abuse and the fear. And all this mental burden that is always there like a heavy rock.

So have you ever felt like this or it's just me being odd/weak/crazy?

No i love being a woman. I like doing my hair and makeup and wearing nice clothes. I would hate to have to wear a suit and tie everyday rather than dresses. I can't think of anything worse than being a hairy or bald man

There's an idea of double victimhood. So, women get assaulted by men, that's the first one. But then, the second one is that we are afraid to go out, draw attention to ourselves etc. My policy has always been to try to avoid the second victimhood at least. It helps that I'm big and strong, but I also think it's about your own determination. It kinda fell apart with pregnancy though.

No, I wouldn't.
I'm not thinking about gender stereotypes, because yes a lot of those I could leave (and do) , but rather my female body.
As a teenager I hated my body,all the expectations upon it and how I didn't meet them. However I have grown to appreciate it.
Being pregnant was probably the happiest I have been in my skin, I loved it and I developed an incredible appreciation for what the female body can do.
It really has revolutionised how I feel about myself. And the bond I have with my daughter from day one and through breastfeeding is incredible.

I wish that my female body didn't mean I would be more at risk from male violence/overlooked in the workplace/expected to fulfill certain aesthetics. I wish that the medical conditions I have because of it had as much focus as non-sex based conditions.
But I wouldn't change it despite that, because it's done some pretty awesome things.

I have no idea what it's like to be a man, just as men don't have the foggiest what it's like to be a woman.

I am happy and proud to be a woman who has managed to live a life that defies an awful lot of stereotypes — I'm a lesbian, I have never conformed to society's expectations on looks and I don't have children.

@SameOldThings

Just for a day, not permanently. Just to see what it was like. I’d like to have strong muscles. I’m trying to build mine up, but there’s only so much I can do.

Yeah same. I'd like to test run it first but I do think about it sometimes, more so the older I get

The demographic most likely to be assaulted is in fact young men

I know this data always pop so much into conversations but this is only half true. Men get assaulted mostly because men get into fights or as a consequence of a previous one as revenge. I haven't met any men that have been punched just because (well, only my friend who is gay, but this was homophobic attack and my lesbian friend was attacked too). Instead I've been slapped, as I said before grabbed by the neck, and groped and sure so many women had the same experiences. So are we really implying that men have it worst? That they should be the ones scared walking alone?

Of course, feel free to disagree with me, but I have always thought that data it's really detrimental for women and hide the truth.

So those women who would change, I presume it’s to some above average male stereotype? Taller, muscular, powerful work presence? Big enough penis to make it out of pants?
I’ll stick to what I know, I’ve met a fare share of men who are equally trapped by the vision of what a manly man is.

The thing about safety and defending yourself, which I’m all for btw, is I’m 4’11” and weigh 8 stone. I wear clothes for a 12 year old. Kids can pick me up. Kids can pull me about and I can’t move them. I know there’s martial arts where you use their body weight against them but it’s always going to be in my head that my size goes against me.

In a heartbeat.

No more living a life subject to the storms of hormones? sign me up. No cramps, PMT, feeling awful 1/4 of my life from 13-50-odd, no damaged joints from pregnancy, no 22 weeks of hyperemisis (three times - so over a year in total), no ongoing abdominal problems from emergency sections, no perimenopause, no unless hot flushes, flooding, erratic cycle?

Yes, I'd like to experience life on the lower difficulty level please. And that's before we get to sexism and sexual assaults.

(The good bits were breastfeeding my babies and my kinship with other women.)

I feel comfortable in my own skin but in the abstract, yes. So I could be a dad. Dads seem to get all the good bits of parenting without wrecking their bodies, careers and working so hard at home.

I think if I did I'd just be swapping one set of problems for another set to be honest.

It would be fun for a day or two though 😃

I take the point that a man might turn out to be a shit only later on in a relationship, as a PP says. But one can still dump him at that point, with help from Women’s Aid and the police domestic violence unit.
Hell, how many abused women have we all supported to LTB here on MN?!
And yes, more young men might figure as assault victims simply because women are avoiding going out in the first place- but we need to address that ourselves with better self defence/martial arts training for women, confidence building, reclaim the night initiatives, etc.
I think it’s defeatist to just wish you were a man instead. It isn’t possible to change sex anyway, so focus your energy on improving life as a woman!

I wouldn't. It would be like getting rid of old comfortable slippers and trying to wear in new ones. Despite all the shit that comes with being a woman. I've always been comfortable being me.

Absolutely not and it's disappointed how so many women on here are saying they would. I have never wanted to be male. I don't think I could cope with the fact that I'd be part of the sex responsible for all of the atrocities inflicted on the world.

I definitely wouldn't change. I love being female and loved giving birth and breastfeeding.

I do get the personal safety stuff, but when women tell me they want to come back as a man (I used to work with someone who said this all the time) I always say that we have to make the world a better place for women now.

Never thought of it at all.
I'd like to be a bit taller, younger, lose the health baggage. That's nothing to do with sex though.
Apart from that. I like being a woman. Despite the shit we have to wade through.

Would I change my sex ? No. Can't speak for what it's like to be a woman but I'm perfectly happy being a man.

If I can change back as easily, absolutely, I'm a novelty-seeker.

I'm looking forwarding to outliving the men my age

I'm very sorry that you're in a situation where outliving people would make you happy.

I have sometimes wondered what it would be like to wake up one day as DH, sort of like Freaky Friday. I keep asking what it would be like, but he isn't very helpful.

I wouldn't mind having a new body, as this one is getting on a bit, and I could really do without the ridiculous boobs (why on earth are they getting bigger with m enopause? Is it some kind of sick joke?) But I don't want to be a man.
I have thought about it - I wanted to be a boy when I was a child (mainly to be more like my father), and I'm still usually male in my dreams (anyone else have that?). How much difference would it make in terms of character I wonder?

No. I've always enjoyed being a woman.

When I was a little girl I remember thinking it might be fun to be a boy but never as I got older.

I want the access and the rewards. Like being rewarded with promotions and money for just saying something smart once in a while and getting a ticket tape parade for house work and organizing the kids' activities. I'd like to go camping in the hills of Morocco alone.

Some of those “jails” are self inflicted, OP. I never wear make up, I’ve never waxed anything, I often walk on local hills or in forests alone

Completely agree, love walks out by myself too - think it sounds more like a self confidence issue mostly.
I'd never want to change sex, am totally comfortable as a woman and would hate to be a man (love ya, but wouldn't want to be ya lol)

I have to say, my issue with being a woman isn’t being attacked/groped tec... because I somehow have managed to avoid most of that.

However, my issue is about the constant Inequality. The fact that women are often invisible and that whatever they do is rarely appreciated at its right value.
I saw some family of mine a few weeks ago. 3 women, 2 men in the room. The two men took over the whole conversation. Again.
I’d love to have to stop fighting all the time to be seen and heard.

So would i want to be a man? No. But I sure would like to have at least some of the advantages that men seem to automatically have, as a birth right.