Showing that feminists don't all hate heterosexual male sexuality

[IronPyrites]

OK so I am talking about consensual adult sexuality only.

I think there is a feeling, imo an incorrect one, but still a feeling, among many straight men that feminism wants to impose celibacy on all straight men, and hates and derides any expression of male sexuality.
Now, while I think this is unfounded, I wonder sometimes if there is any mileage in perhaps showing some compassion for the difficulties that many straight men encounter in their personal lives in general, and perhaps even that the pain of sexual or romantic frustration is no less real (and perhaps heightened by societal expectations of the straight male stud) for this group of people than anyone else. I have nothing but contempt for the so-called incels who clearly despise and feel entitled to women, and for men who express disdain for and behave badly to women in other ways, but I do think it may do some good to counter the message that you sometimes hear that feminism is anti-men, and showing that there is probably a societal bias against and fear of male sexuality in general. I hope you understand what I mean.

I hope I don't dream about Bowie in Crocs. Or those rubber feet things. I'm quite scared to go to bed!

I favour a birkenstock in more clement weather myself.

Crocs just look sweaty.

I’m a man and been posting here for many years, I never once felt my heterosexuality as a Male was under any sort of assault by any feminist. Ever.

Is it wrong that I've started to feel an affection for this thread and it's title? It's so earnest and old fashioned.

It's just like being in the early 2000s, what with all the talk of Crocs.

torktork that's hilarious

some compassion for the difficulties that many straight men encounter in their personal lives in general
What difficulties are these? I'm confused. I assume not getting laid enough? But it could be that they are expected to wash their own pants? Or buy their SOs a birthday present? It's very confusing....

Getting laid - think mrstp covered that, but also they can make do with wanking like everyone else
Pants - lots of videos about how to use common household appliances on youtube
Birthday presents - just buy her something she likes. Job done.

Now waiting for more thorny difficulties

dervel that's because you are Not A Real Man. If you were, you'd be on pistonheads talking about mysterious "difficulties"

Crocs just look sweaty

This is where socks save us.

@DuDuDuLangaLangaBingBong

Crocs just look sweaty

This is where socks save us.

Oh.

No.

What? 🤣

I'm reporting all of you to the police for hate crimes against fashion, just so you know.

This is the weetabix debacle again

Some wetsuit boots have toes, but afaik windsurfers don't care about fashion. If you windsurf off a stony beach and have sensitive feet (food wetsuit boots have thin soles) the trick is to have a pair of crocs big enough to slip on over the boots, which you can leave tied up to a small buoy (drinks bottle attached to a rock will do).

Good, not food, obv.

@IronPyrites Have you left the thread? Megan Murphy just wrote an interesting article about co-dependancy. This paragraph might help;

''But the things we do to “keep the peace” do not actually make us feel more peaceful. They make us feel anxious and resentful; unheard, unseen, and misunderstood. Our lives become entirely focused on another — controlled by stress and fear attached to someone else’s behaviour. And rather than detaching, we stick around, trying to manufacture the perfect circumstances, behaviours, or scenarios, wherein we can finally relax.''
unherd.com/2020/07/dont-let-the-activists-grind-you-down/?tl_inbound=1&tl_groups[0]=18743&tl_period_type=3

It is ridiculous to ignore the absolute epidemic of male violence and sexual violence against women, then claim women need to step up to soothe men's hurt feelings.

Women cannot begin a relationship with a new man without taking steps to minimize the risk. Blaming women for the gulf between the sexes is not acceptable.

I used to wear toe socks when they were a thing about 25 years ago

Firstly I feel I should put in the disclaimer that I’m a man so acknowledge I can only give an outsiders, not an experts, opinion.

Having read through the thread, OP I think your intentions are clearly good, looking at whether a change of tact could help the feminism, however, it feels like an apologists stance that doesn’t feel warranted.

Of course it’s fair to say some men, as individuals, have been unlucky in love and potentially even treated badly, but that wasn’t because they were a man and therefore isn’t a persecuted men, as a collective, issue. I believe you’d need to be either incredibly ignorant or warped to not recognise the advantages men have had in terms of opportunities in nearly all aspects of Life (Education, relationships, democracy, employment...the list goes on) across all of history.

I can see no reason why feminism should water down its message or soften the ambitions to placate men...what other ‘movement’ would change its agenda and messaging for the benefit of people outside of the membership.

I’m sure some men (and women) do view feminism as anti men but, in my experience, that is for one of two reasons:

1. There sole exposure to feminism is tabloid headlines or twitter. If they c ant be bothered enough to read, ask or learn any greater level of detail, why the hell should you spoon feed them and/or change your approach

2. They see no problem in the ‘good old days’ and find it easier to throw stones at feminists and women in general than consider their own behaviours, recognising some things they do/have done and contemplate modifying their actions.

Apologies this has become quite a long rant, especially on a subject I’m clearly far from an expert on but that’s my two pence anyway

Another day another thread with "hate" in the title.

I hate that.

I had rainbow toe socks. About 35 years ago.

@TheInebriati I tried to send you a pm but it didn't work. I did read the article you sent and I think I get what Meghan is saying. I'm sorry for what I posted I can see now it was fairly ridiculous.

Oh.

No.

What?🤣

Socks and Crocs is non-sweaty foot-comfort AND minimises the risk of being subjected to a heterosexual man’s ‘romantic frustrations’.

2 birds, one man-repelling stone!

No feminist, except maybe a few ultra hard-core radicals, are suggesting that men can't express their sexuality, and none are suggesting celibacy. Men and women are sexual beings and always going to check each other out.

A discreet admiring glance at an attractive woman walking down the street = fine
Ogling or cat calling = not fine.

It's not rocket science.

I think I know where the OP is coming from.
I have known over the years guys that are ok people, quite reasonable and not sexist who due to just not being at all charasmatic and not socially skilled at all have never had a relationship.
I think the thing is that for an average looking woman with not much social skills its still possible to find someone who will have sex with you where as for these guys its not the same story.
And I think its more lonelyness and not having someone to share life with than sex.

Kitten. Guiness cake is the bees knees. Fact.

Crocs. I once bought a pair of fur lined pink crocs in the sale. Not real fur, just white fabric fluffy stuff. They were great, and I only fell out with them when I tripped over my laptop wire one day, and partly due to there being no give in the sole and my being a lardarse they killed my poor pooter dead.

@TorkTorkBam

I was not upset. I was amused. However I am open to new ways of thinking so I have checked with local men.

By that I mean DH and two of his friends he went cycling with this morning. Also one teenage DS, not technically a man yet though.

DH emphatically does NOT want me to reassure other men that feminists like me appreciate male sexuality and understand their romantic distress. He was quite firm on this point. He seems somewhat upset at the suggestion that I was even considering it.

His two mates were of a different opinion. They said they would be keen for me to educate them and enquired about how this would work. Some suggestions that involved posing flexing biceps to show their, um, credentials were a bit much for DH who ushered them away with exclamations of oi mate and hilarious of talk of wife swapping.

Teenage DS is horrified. I am NEVER to talk about male sexuality online or in irl and definitely not in any way personally identifiable, i.e. traceable back to him. Me saying of how do you think you got made? and your dad wasn't my first boyfriend you know was met with some pained howling followed by an urgent need to do physics online learning immediately. In another room, with headphones on and the door shut. I think I heard him warn his brother not to come to talk to me.

So, a mixed bag of responses there. Not sure what I've learned. I will go away and have a hard think about it. definitely not secretly thinking about DH's fit mates, oh no

@Chiochan

I think I know where the OP is coming from. I have known over the years guys that are ok people, quite reasonable and not sexist who due to just not being at all charasmatic and not socially skilled at all have never had a relationship. I think the thing is that for an average looking woman with not much social skills its still possible to find someone who will have sex with you where as for these guys its not the same story. And I think its more lonelyness and not having someone to share life with than sex.

I'm struggling to see how that is the wheelhouse of feminists.