Showing that feminists don't all hate heterosexual male sexuality

[IronPyrites]

OK so I am talking about consensual adult sexuality only.

I think there is a feeling, imo an incorrect one, but still a feeling, among many straight men that feminism wants to impose celibacy on all straight men, and hates and derides any expression of male sexuality.
Now, while I think this is unfounded, I wonder sometimes if there is any mileage in perhaps showing some compassion for the difficulties that many straight men encounter in their personal lives in general, and perhaps even that the pain of sexual or romantic frustration is no less real (and perhaps heightened by societal expectations of the straight male stud) for this group of people than anyone else. I have nothing but contempt for the so-called incels who clearly despise and feel entitled to women, and for men who express disdain for and behave badly to women in other ways, but I do think it may do some good to counter the message that you sometimes hear that feminism is anti-men, and showing that there is probably a societal bias against and fear of male sexuality in general. I hope you understand what I mean.

@ScrimpshawTheSecond

I think the alpha male thing is about gorillas. Or something. It's not an argument that's used much, these days.

I was once told by a US special forces bloke that I was an 'alpha female' - which I would have preened about had it not been clearly made-up bollocks. Maybe its another one of these American cultural myths that just don't make much sense anywhere else.

It is based on observing wolves in captivity and then applying the concept to human pack interaction. The alpha/beta concept in wolfies was thoroughly debunked when they were observed to behave entirely differently in the wild.

"a man who makes me laugh"

Most men don't seem to understand how very important having a sense of humor is to women.

I've never seen women asked what they find attractive in men put the kind of car he drives in the Top 5, but sense of humor consistently ranks in the Top 5 of what women want, a lad who keeps them smiling and laughing and isn't so damnably earnest he can't chuckle at himself.

If you were to rank attractive qualities in a male partner, for women, "charm" would be so far above "car" that you'd have a hard time displaying the results on the same page.

@TheProdigalKittensReturn

If you were to rank attractive qualities in a male partner, for women, "charm" would be so far above "car" that you'd have a hard time displaying the results on the same page.

‘No Crocs’ would be pretty high up too.

I know, I know, here is my own pocket of hypocrisy!

What's on a man's bookshelf is far more important than what's on their driveway. But that might be me!

Hear hear, @MrsTerryPratchett!

Makes two of us! I also care about the CD or record collection.

When an otherwise lovely man wears Crocs in public I just shake my head sadly, and give him a look that says "I'm not angry, I'm disappointed".

There is a couple who are actors and when he was first doing the talk show rounds he got a lot of "You're married to who???" and how is that possible. He made Emily Blunt laugh the first time she met him is the short answer.

i recently had a conversation with a man i'd hitherto considered attractive during which he mentioned that he didn't know who Kenny Rodgers is. For some reason this gap in his knowledge downgraded his attractiveness in my eyes.

funny old world innit?

My DH, turned up to our first date with a gift for me. An enormous, fabric bound, coffee table type book of war photography.

This book was issued as fixed set of a 1000 copies - mine is number 1001, so it technically doesn’t exist. My DH works in the book binding industry and had printed and bound an additional copy, just for me.

You can see why I married him.
It was bloody heavy to carry home, mind you!

@BernardBlackMissesLangCleg

i recently had a conversation with a man i'd hitherto considered attractive during which he mentioned that he didn't know who Kenny Rodgers is. For some reason this gap in his knowledge downgraded his attractiveness in my eyes.

funny old world innit?

You are not destined to be his Dolly Parton

You can see why I married him.

Indeed I can. Though presumably you were wrong not to ask about his car instead?

I had one ex who was car mad and had some kind of vintage sporty thing. Bored the shit out of me, honestly. I have nothing against people having hobbies that I don't share but it gets a bit tedious when they bend your ear about them all the time.

Doesn't it just!
I had a car that I was not aware d00dz coveted. Randoms would want to talk to me about it and frequently offer much less than it was worth to buy it.
Boring. I gave it to eldest to be shut of it.

@TheProdigalKittensReturn

You can see why I married him.

Indeed I can. Though presumably you were wrong not to ask about his car instead?

I had one ex who was car mad and had some kind of vintage sporty thing. Bored the shit out of me, honestly. I have nothing against people having hobbies that I don't share but it gets a bit tedious when they bend your ear about them all the time.

He did have a nice car at the time (apparently, I can’t drive and wouldn’t be able to tell) but a) I didn’t see it til date 2 b) it was a company care and c) it was long ago swapped for something with a hatchback (for dogs) and more space for kids, so it really didn’t matter.

Totally agree re: tedious hobbies. I’d rather date a man with an old banger/no car at all than a man that talks about boring shit all the bloody time.

DuDuDuLangaLangaBingBong Did you check it for secret codes and messages?

Most men don't seem to understand how very important having a sense of humor is to women.

And some of them don't seem to realise that a GSOH is a completely different thing to 'likes "banter"'.

@HH160bpm

If you see a movement for equality for women as anti-men what’s the thinking there? That men will lose something by women being equal? What would they be losing?

They'd be losing 50% of their parental rights for starters. Im sure some men would just love a bit more of this equality!

Careful what you wish for.

I wonder why you would go back that far in this thread when you already posted on it yesterday morning. I’m sure it’s totally unconnected to a difference of opinion on another thread.

What are you trying to say about parental rights? Both parents male or female have exactly the same parental responsibilities. It’s not pie.

Children are not pies.
'Pie' is what I call my children and grandchildren. I shall endeavor to stop. Children are not pies.

@HH160bpm

I wonder why you would go back that far in this thread when you already posted on it yesterday morning. I’m sure it’s totally unconnected to a difference of opinion on another thread.

What are you trying to say about parental rights? Both parents male or female have exactly the same parental responsibilities. It’s not pie.

No the kids reside with the mother first and foremost.

Did someone walk over a bridge?

Ooh an old school MRA. Goody .

No the kids reside with the mother first and foremost.
I've just this minute responded to a comment on another thread where you have been talking about how men get the top jobs cos they want to work 80 hour weeks and women don't.
Can you not see how men working 80 hour weeks is incompatible to them having custody of children were they to split up from their wife? Or that the children might prefer to stay with the person who's been their primary caregiver while dads been working 80 hours?
The children's needs come first. Men aren't entitled to custody (neither are women) and need to start owning their choices. If they've chosen to work long hours, or just not be involved in childcare, or be abusive to their wife and children, is it any surprise those children are better off with their mum?

I have just told ds he is not a pie.