I’ve been lurking on the gender critical threads, or what you perceive to be the hate threads, for a while. From my lurking, I would argue that the gender critical posters do not pose anything hateful but rather a simple question or statement of their lived experience. The hateful comments come from the TRA who cannot answer those questions or dislike that lived experience. TRA will then claim the gender critical feminists are dismissing trans people’s lived experience. Which is ironic.
I know these will have been discussed throughout the thread already but I’m going to add my personal examples and how it is something a trans woman has not, and will never, experience. Throughout my career, I have had numerous job interviews. These have been with a panel of men only, women only and mixed. Most of the panels that have included men have usually included questions about my personal circumstances, whether I have any caring responsibilities, whether I have a partner. You see, I’m a woman of child bearing age. In panels of women only I have never been asked any questions about my personal life as it simply isn’t relevant to my capabilities in doing my job. I have taken my rings off for job interviews, or a few days before to let the natural indentations fade. On the other hand, my husband was encouraged to include the fact that he was married in a promotion interview because it made him look settled and a safe bet. A trans woman, particularly one that has established their career before transitioning, does not face that particular workplace discrimination. I work in a male dominated industry, I was doing a project in which a female director had told males colleagues under her to report something to me every day. They ignored her, didn’t send me the information and when I questioned it, mansplained to me how wrong I’d got it. No apology when I provided evidence to prove that all of them were wrong. A trans woman might be taken less seriously than a male counterpart but they are still going to be taken more seriously than a female. A trans woman will have spent some time living as a boy and being seen by society as a boy. They won’t have been called bossy and doubted themselves because bossy is a negative word we attach to women and girls to undermine them. They’ll have been led to believe that they are better at maths and science because they have a Y chromosome. Trans people do face workplace discrimination but it is completely different to the workplace discrimination of women. They are two separate fights.
Bathrooms isn’t about stopping trans people using those spaces but rather men who will use the trans to legitimately access those spaces. When I was 18, I was on a night out with friends and went to the bathroom by myself. As I was washing my hands, a drunk man came into the ladies. He informed me that I was in the wrong bathroom. I told him I wasn’t, how many men’s toilets had tampons machines? He looked around and seemingly agreed with my assessment but then told me he wasn’t going to go to the men’s bathroom. He then clocked my appearance, dressed up for a night out I had a low cut top on. Even drunk, his glare made me uncomfortable. He asked me if I’d like to get a drink after he’d finished and I replied no, thank you. He was still in the bathroom entrance and blocking the door. He’s hammered but I’m in heels, so my odds of escape aren’t increased. He continues to make inappropriate comments to me, leering. Fortunately, I think his pissed state and need to use the bathroom trumped his interest in me and I made a beeline out of there, dragging my friends from the bar to find a new place. The noise in the bar was loud but if he had attacked, I would have to scream as loud as I could and hope that someone in the corridor to the toilets heard. Obviously these men will always find a way to get access to female only spaces if they want. The difference then would have been that on someone else or the bar staff upon finding him in the ladies, he’d have been thrown out. Now, he could simply state that he was a trans woman. Then I’d be the hysterical women scared off a sexual assault from a trans woman that obviously wouldn’t harm anyone. Let’s make no mistake, this predator isn’t a trans woman and nor is my comment saying that trans people are predators but predators can use that excuse. Which inevitably reflects badly on the trans community as they are being unfairly repressed by predators. By respecting single sex spaces, you are actually making sure that the trans community isn’t seen as predatory and men aren’t given a free pass by claiming to be something they aren’t.
I have no hate for trans people. However, I think it’s trans women that are shouting the loudest, when actually it’s trans men that need the most protection. Trans men have female biology, they will typically smaller, slower and not as physically strong as men but using men’s spaces. A trans woman still has the strength, speed and height advantage over women. Even a trans woman that doesn’t pass is going to be at less risk than a trans man. A trans man who doesn’t look masculine enough is at a very real risk from men and not just in men’s spaces, in all spaces. Like women. Trans men will have doctors minimising their female medical problems, telling their periods are no big deal when actually they could be suffering with endometriosis. In conjunction with possibly being told their gender dysphoria is in their head. Trans men will face workplace discriminations of being a woman and then being trans. Yet the only narrative that is important is that trans women are women. Trans men by the virtue of being raised a woman for however short a time are not in the habitat of shouting loudest to get what they want. Creating a third gender neutral space would be in the interest of trans men (with trans women also benefitting) but trans women don’t want that and there in lies the problem.