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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Bunbury's guide to community disruptors part 5

983 replies

ItsLateHumpty · 20/06/2020 15:04

The useful Bunbury Guide to Spotting Community Disruptors is constantly evolving.

The best research and advice is not to engage with community disruptors and trolls. As ever, if you suspect troll activity, report it to MNHQ.

Remember our monitors would like to silence us by fair means or foul.

This is a continuation of the Public Service Announcement thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3691023-Bunburys-guide-to-community-disruptors-part-4

If and when you see threads plopped into FWR, especially a curious repeat of well worn topics, maybe check for poster history before engaging. AS is your friend.

There are a number of posts/posters/threads that are reproduced on Twitter or Facebook to foment controversy using screen shots & flagging to either MNHQ to have threads or posters deleted.. Sometimes, it’s used to approach commissioning editors with ideas for articles. It’s a tiresome tactic that we always have community disruptor posters who themselves post the comments that they then highlight elsewhere as purported evidence of racism, religious intolerance, anti-men sentiments, or transphobia.

Some helpful links can be found in the ‘Break it Down for me’ and ‘It never happens’ threads but in essence FermatsTheorem recommended “that in the absence of a block/hide poster button, I suggest the following strategy (given that you're talking to the lurkers).

Do not name check the sealion. Instead, respond to a depersonalised paraphrase:

"It is sometimes erroneously suggested that blah. Blah is wrong for the following reasons (short and pithy). If you need more information re. debunking blah, here's a link."

Then (this next step is important to combat derailment) go back up thread to the last useful contribution to the discussion, make sure you do name check that contributor, and pick up the discussion from that point.”

Go well Witches Gin

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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Deliriumoftheendless · 21/08/2020 15:07

[quote Winesalot]So did the Sexy Spider-Man thread go?

It certainly did. And there is another thread about why MN did cancel the thread quickly enough.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/a4000936-how-can-i-ask-mn-to-delete-my-post?msgid=99342957#99342957[/quote]
Thank you for that. I’d forgotten what it was called so wasn’t sure if it was just my memory.

Is this going to be a new tactic? Start a thread about one thing then derail own thread about how transphobic it all is? I’m not sure it will be successful.

DianasLasso · 21/08/2020 15:12

Is this going to be a new tactic? Start a thread about one thing then derail own thread about how transphobic it all is?

I think so! It reminded me of one of those number puzzles where you take your mum's age, the day of the month, your dog's weight, perform a complicated algorithm and the answer's always 7 1/2. It was clear from the outset that somewhere along the line OP was going to pivot to "OMG, and I've just realised you're all terrible bigots."

It was a weird thread - people responding quite politely that although the situation described was indeed tasteless and unpleasant, really, structural power inequalities in society needed to be taken into account - at which point the OP immediately went off on one as though we were the devil incarnate. Clearly only there for the goading from the get-go. I reported it way, way before it got to the "wah, wah you're all such bigots" shift.

Butterer · 21/08/2020 15:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DannyGlickWindowTapping · 21/08/2020 16:39

@DialSquare

My Cheesies turned up today. Wow! I'm considering chopping my hands off to stop me opening the 8 remaining bags!
Snap. Goats cheese and red Leicester eaten. Am hiding the rest away..... I've been way too scared to post on this board recently, but have been reading. And learning of cheesy treats.
Deliriumoftheendless · 21/08/2020 16:41

Your name is the best Danny Glick

DialSquare · 21/08/2020 16:45

I've had Cheddar and Red Leicester so far DannyGlickWindowTapping. Goats cheese next! Did you notice the 15% discount on the back of the packets if you order direct? I'll be making full use of that!

ItsLateHumpty · 21/08/2020 17:11

Never mind the cheese fest 🙄😜

See www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/4002092-FWR-clarification-deletion-and-strikes?

And next time add 🍷 for the cheese 🤤

OP posts:
FannyCann · 21/08/2020 21:37

Can I ask if Germaine has any advice regarding cheery AMA posters who appear to be engaged in a public information campaign such that one wonders if the actual scenario might be hypothetical ?

EchoCardioGran · 21/08/2020 23:27

Got it FannyCann, doesn't ring true at all. A proper MH professional doesn't talk like that and its' Friday night. Nuff said.Reported.

nachthexe · 22/08/2020 00:27

Right? Made me pissy.

nachthexe · 22/08/2020 00:30

I tried to poison myself with off Branston today. It was a terrible waste of two freshly warmed crusty buns.

JellyFishSquish · 22/08/2020 00:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DianasLasso · 22/08/2020 08:22

I spotted the AMA and was immediately very Hmm about it. The way the person talked about the patients allegedly under their care did not ring true at all.

ItsLateHumpty · 22/08/2020 08:36

... off Branston

Does it go off? [shocked] I’ve had some kicking about the fridge for a while and had a cheese and pickle sandwich off the back of this thread and it seemed fine.
What happens when it goes off nachthexe?

In other news please keep this thread general and avoid making it a TAAT - I’ve seen a complaint to MN because obvs us talking here is a worry I guess.

OP posts:
RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 22/08/2020 08:38

Its not a thread about a thread

Its a thread about lots of threads

This happens occasionally on many other boards

Someone will reference another thread about wearing a mask for example or a beauty product they saw mentioned

ItsLateHumpty · 22/08/2020 08:52

I agree RufustheSniggeringReindeer and our friend who’s complaining hasn’t ever posted here in the NN they’re complaining from which is a bit Hmm but as the mods mod here harder than else where and as we’re loosing whole threads atm, I’m probably being a little lots paranoid

OP posts:
RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 22/08/2020 08:58

Absolutely humpty

It’ll just be another example of threads on FWR being held to a higher standard

Though i do think its fair enough that MNHQ have issued the occasional warning, sometimes I forget where i am and think other people can’t read it 😀

ArabellaScott · 22/08/2020 09:29

Bit worried to hear about Branston going off - I have a heirloom jar I'd hoped to pass on to the kids. At least, one of the kids. If they're good.

boatyardblues · 22/08/2020 09:36

You are all reminding me of an aged family friend who used to bring out her legacy jar of Marmite whenever we visited as kids. It was so ancient it had crystalised and had it’s own unique flavour. (Yes, we ate it - we had been raised to eat up and not make a fuss. Asking for jam instead was riskier - furry - so we stuck with the Marmite.)

ErrolTheDragon · 22/08/2020 10:10

I'm sure nothing can live in something as salty as marmite. Osmotic pressure.
DH had a clear out in January and binned my marmite, I don't like it enough to bother replacing it. Miso paste makes an acceptable substitute (that's probably an 'only on MN' observationGrin)

ChattyLion · 22/08/2020 10:51

Oh, that thread of Posie interviewing a mother of a ROGD child about theIr family’s actual experience has been deleted because the thread title broke guidelines.

I really feel the deletions are stopping women from naming the problem and describing their/our experiences.

On a practical note I think MNHQ would save everybody’s time if they published a list of the banned words, because it looks very much like deletion isn’t about context and nuanced mods decision-making. Looks like it’s about posters using particular factually descriptive or uncomfortable words. These are not abusive or offensive words used gratuitously for the purpose of shocking though. If that’s the basis for deletion, it should be openly done, with a clear list of words we must avoid, if that is the policy. MNHQ should make it plain so we can discuss it.

The zapped thread title used a word that loosely rhymes with ‘vault’ but is spelt differently. The word refers in this usage to an authoritarian or abusive belief system or community. I can’t see what other word could have been objected to that title. (I’m assuming that we can write ROGD freely?)

I had a post deleted recently on here for (I presume) using a three letter acronym in relation to a male fetish about their fantasy of womanhood which was entirely relevant to the experience I was describing and used in context.

It certainly feels like there are more banned words than HQ’s sticky note describes and it certainly feels like the tightrope MNHQ and the mods are trying to walk is now bringing them much more down on the side of the complaining Eyes than of women talking their truth on here. I’m really disappointed. I’ve been on FWR for ages because it’s anonymous and mainstream and it allows women to share our experiences.
If we can’t share the ones which upset men, thats really sad. We all learn a great deal from each other on here- I know I have.

If there are some uncomfortable aspects of an issue, the language used to describe that issue (when used in context of a real personal experience) should not be more important than allowing the actual raising and discussing of the actual issue itself. Shouldn’t it..? Otherwise, whose work are we doing here? Sad

ChattyLion · 22/08/2020 10:53

I am going to have a little cheese and pickle snack after reading this Smile

DialSquare · 22/08/2020 11:01

I wondered what happened to that thread ChattyLion. Such a shame as the subject was interesting. I watch Kellie-Jay on YouTube but hadn't subscribed to the podcast yet so I've just done that.

AskDan · 22/08/2020 11:06

I just came on here to find out what had happened to the thread. The podcast was compelling. It was so sad and the woman speaking clearly had nothing left to lose.

ArabellaScott · 22/08/2020 11:10

Yes, Chatty, I've had post deleted for using the same word-that-must-not-be-spoken. File it as useful information that some people are very, very concerned that that word is not used.

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