11 year old girl set homework asking her to 'define hardcore pornography'

[stumbledin]

Mum fuming as daughter, 11, set homework asking her to 'define hardcore pornography' headline from the Mirror.

Mrs Taylor said if her daughter had searched these phrases online in order to define them, the results would have "destroyed her mind" and "scarred her for life".

"My daughter is still very much a child, we've still got magic elves, her bedroom is done in My Little Pony. She is very innocent and naive.

"She was only in primary school last year living her best life, now she is being asked to search for hardcore pornography.

www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/mum-fuming-daughter-11-set-22049850

I had to watch all sorts of unsavoury stuff in my last job - my employer analysed computers for the police/legal defence etc. Some of it was downright illegal, a lot of it borderline or just unpleasant. This was less than five years ago.

Even seeing the more extreme/criminal end of things there's no way I'd say the majority of it was violent, or even particularly 'rough'. A lot of it wasn't 'passionate' but was far from abusive.

I don't watch porn as I'm not really attracted to strangers and I find it a bit cold and contrived tbh. Similar to how I could never enjoy a strip club as it's all so mechanical and fake. But I don't believe pretending that the majority of porn is violent is a good way to protest against the industry as a lot of blokes watch it and know this isn't the case. To tell them that their own eyes deceive them isn't the way IMO, although I'm not really sure what is.

I'll tell you whats unsavoury, Tacho: It's a guy on the feminism section of Mumsnet on a thread about SEX-EDUCATION IN SCHOOLS, repeatedly and presumably deliberately misinterpreting what is being said and repeatedly insisting that women love rough sex and it's always been really popular.

Yeah, I've heard extreme/criminal porn is always really loving and respectful.

If what you are saying is true perhaps you've become desensitized?

'i don't watch porn but even so I know most of it is fine'

"Also it's not me who wants rough sex, honest, it's just that so many women love it and we must respect their choices. What ever is a bloke to do?"

"Women have always loved rough sex and demanded it from men. I personally don't like it but 62% of women demand it. Look at Fifty Shades!"

Be nice, ladies! And stop being such prudes. It's time to drop your inhibitions panties and ignore those flashing red lights outdated and boring vanilla preferences. Come on, it's cool!

My own very prudish advice to young girls: if he ever expresses even the slightest interest in BDSM, run for the hills. I know that some women fool themselves and others into the notion that violence gives them pleasure. But WHY? Where did the unnatural desire to be hurt come from? Follow the clues, and I bet they will lead back to a man.

We humans aren't supposed to like being hurt. A healthy person does everything they can to avoid it. If you like it, there's something wrong and you need to find out what and why, and seek help.

We humans aren't supposed to like being hurt. A healthy person does everything they can to avoid it. If you like it, there's something wrong and you need to find out what and why, and seek help.

That should be, no living creature enjoys being hurt. All living creatures either run away from those that would hurt them, or attack them in self-defense.

All living creatures are programmed to flee or fight violence as a survival instinct. The more sensitive ones dogs, cats, horses, humans seek love. Loving hands.

Women are physically weaker than most men. A girl cannot fight off a man who wants to choke her. We must flee it, stand up to it, oppose it where we can, inform and educate. We must tell our daughters and granddaughters to flee it, wake them up, open their eyes. We have to talk about this -- but not the lackadaisical way it is apparently happening in schools.

I personally thing it's the parents' job. I wouldn't want cool young open-minded teachers teaching my granddaughters about modern sexual activities or porn. This is sick.

The problem with not talking about it until year 10 is that, sadly, it is too late.
I agree that the worksheet was poor but the school is doing their best in tough circumstances.
Year 7 students at a comp in hull are more than likely going to be shown porn on someone’s phone at school. It’s terribly sad but unfortunately that is the way things are now.
I would love it if we could cocoon all our lovely innocent youngsters but we just can’t. We need to discuss this with them so they have the tools to deal with it when then come across it with their peers. We need to open lines of communication between children and trusted adults so that we can help dc deal with whatever they are exposed to. And many will be exposed to images of abuse. I wish so much it wasn’t true but it is.

And it’s not about normalising it. The opposite. We need to tell dc that it’s not normal for sex to hurt or for people to cry during sex. We have to offer the alternative narrative. We have to tell dc that porn is often abusive, not consensual and not ok.

Year 7 students at a comp in hull are more than likely going to be shown porn on someone’s phone at school

And huge amounts of year 7s aren't going to be shown porn, and even if they are the vast majority of girls aren't going to want to look at it for more than 2 seconds.

That’s right. But how do schools meet the needs of all students?

It's not meeting a need to talk about something potentially very distressing before the child is mature enough to cope with it.

Perhaps schools should be more draconian about phones in the first place. Certainly at my independent school they aren't allowed them during achool time.

I would have been 10 in that class. The worst is seen by then was Page3 - and that was what some of the ‘bad boys’ in class brought into school to giggle over.

By that example - the kids in a relatives school, where the kids are there because of behaviour and family circumstances should be taught about abuse, drug taking, jail, violence and crime? Because they have already seen it all. They are there to get an education and change their ‘normal’.

Yes it would be fab if school could ban phones. As a teacher I would love that. If you can persuade the parents be my guest.
Students who are not mature enough to cope will be exposed to distressing images. That is a fact. How do you propose we help those students?

All schools talk to students about drugs violence and crime. For some students this is their only chance to see it from a perspectives other than the one they have grown up with.

That want a good example - but no, I don’t agree that exposing all kids to porn at 10/11 is on. To make them play a Grown up verbal version Of spin the bottle is not on.

To have education advice and pack from mermaids et al - not on.

I don’t think teachers are showing students porn. I don’t think that’s ok either.
And year 7s are 11/12yo.
Many of them will see this stuff anyway. You and I cannot stop this even though we would like to.
Mermaids are clearly not the right people to involve in SRE but let’s not throw the baby out with the bath water.
SRE still needs to happen. As does internet and social media safety education.

They are saying it exists - which will be news to some kids - then elaborating one difference types/extremes, asking them to define it and sexual practices. Not appropriate, especially with a fishy slant.

When my daughter was little and we watched films together, the moment anything sexual was shown I would put my hands over her eyes. She learned to do this herself later on -- she would cover her eyes or leave the room at sex scenes.
Of course, I never watched anything even slightly soft-pornish with her. But even in approved family films, there will be scenes of people having sex half-clothed, men tearing off a woman's clothes, etc. That's what I mean.
Even at a young age, she was learning to trust her instinct as to what was appropriate and what not, to trust her internal feelings, to walk away. It IS possible. unfortunately too many parents are of the opinion, oh, they'll see it anyway, better with me than with friends.

If a child that age mentioned porn or sexual practices at school - the teacher would start thinking about safeguarding. So a parent would be suspected of abuse if they spoke to their kids about the content of this pack.

Similarly if i overheard my ten year old use phrases like ‘extreme porn’ and ‘anal sex’... I’d be really worried. Because what is taught in these classes isn’t run past the parents, and god knows your kids don’t always tell you.

I don’t think teachers are showing students porn. I don’t think that’s ok either.
And year 7s are 11/12yo.
Many of them will see this stuff anyway. You and I cannot stop this even though we would like to.

I stand by my comment that teaching it in this way is normalising it and a form of grooming. Some 10/11 year olds would have come across porn and will feel a mixture of emotions - maybe confused, disgusted, curious, aroused. Perhaps all at the same time. When children are faced with new and confusing situations they look for people the trust such as teachers and parents to guide them.

It’s entirely appropriate to discuss porn with children and validate the myriad of confusing feelings it may engender. It’s appropriate to tell them it’s NOT indicative of sex IRL. It’s appropriate to point out that it can depict unacceptable violence towards women. I’m not disagreeing that 10/11 year olds shouldn’t have this topic addressed.

But - if the school’s approach is to not only bring it up but encourage children to subcategorise different types of porn this sends the message that this a standard part of adult sexuality. If introduced early enough this view will become enmeshed in their sexual awareness, which is maybe what some groups want.

When a 5 year old asks how babies are made they can be given a basic, penis and vagina, baby grows in uterus answer. They don’t need to know about sexual arousal, miscarriages, abortions, birth trauma, tearing, post delivery incontinence and birth asphyxia.

Why Hull? Strange post.

Anyway.

I don't disagree that lots of children will have seen stuff.

Which is why it's important to teach them that porn is a fantasy (male fantasy the majority of the time) and most people don't have 'porn sex'.

Teach about consent. Normal bodies. Mutuality. That lots of people don't want or like the things they might have seen. That sort of thing.

Not ask them to define different types of porn, let alone for homework when it's obvious some will Google the terms.

What is going on? I mean your average person on the street would be horrified. It's just a no, so how is it even a thing?

And this isn't the first instance of highly explicit/ inappropriate materials aimed at schoolchildren.

I am fairly certain teachers also have aright to not be exposed to porn at work.

In order to mark work and answer student questions about which particular acts might count as hardcore porn, the teachers will be exposed to it.

It also seems grotesque if employers can demand teachers answer porn-related questions from e.g. teenage boys, some of whom might find it hilarious to embarrass female teachers.

Very good point, Fallingirl.

The root of all this is normalising and enabling male sexual violence against women and girls, ultimately. Absolutely foul.