"My 15 yr old trans son is going through menopause - and I'm so proud of him"

[bettybeans]

http://www.essentialkids.com.au/health/health-wellbeing/my-15yearold-transgender-son-is-going-through-menopause--and-im-so-proud-of-him-20200416-h1nfe0

Christ almighty. I have been trying very hard not to go in heavy on parents of trans kids who make decisions that I simply don't understand but this whole situation just brought out absolute fury. The way she speaks about this process just enrages and saddens me in a way I can't adequately articulate. It's quite simply terrifying. I feel like I'm reading about a baptism or something.

This kid didn't stand a chance and it's absolutely heartbreaking.

Arrg I only meant to post the bold text ! !!

The video reminded me of a woman and her very young Dd who were in our local John Lewis toy dept where they would have some of the bigger toys out to play with

Her Dd was dressed in dungarees and had a very short back and sides hair cut

The mum was bemoaning that the little girl went straight for the toy kitchen when she was trying to get her interested in the trucks

I think she wanted a boy and the way she was talking, it was like her just walking child’s interest in a toy kitchen was somehow going to make her a failure in life

The woman was definitely not cool with having a daughter

I wonder from time to time how that child turned out

I wonder if her mum has ever come to terms with having a daughter and accepted her as she is
I wonder if the mother had ever had a Ds who turned out to still not be interested in trucks and “boys toys”
I wonder if the daughter had ever taken a fleeting interest in a “male” toy would her mother have whipped her down the clinic to start to transition her because she always knew she was a boy in a girls body

Really? The mother sounds far more like the posters on here who go to such lengths to tell us they were tomboys and how they despised anything girly and how proud they are that their daughters are the same. That mother sounds as if it is not that she wanted a boy but that she didn't want a girl who was interested in "girly" things.

I expect this post will be vehemently rejected on the basis that "toys are for everyone" "clothes are for everyone" but those mantras often slip on here.

Here we go.

I think she wanted a boy and the way she was talking, it was like her just walking child’s interest in a toy kitchen was somehow going to make her a failure in life.
The woman was definitely not cool with having a daughter.

Why would her being disappointed that her daughter wasn’t interested in trucks mean she wanted a boy rather than a daughter who was interested in trucks? Maybe mum had been a mechanic or petrol head and was keen for her daughter to follow her interests?

I’ll bite. That mother sounds like she might have issues. Who knows? My own daughter spent hours in her toy kitchen and wants to bake constantly as a teen. She also liked trucks, cranes (heavy machinery not the birds), dinosaurs, lego, heaps of craft projects, jewellery making, as well as dolls and ‘girly’ stuff. What of it?

Why would her being disappointed that her daughter wasn’t interested in trucks mean she wanted a boy rather than a daughter who was interested in trucks? Maybe mum had been a mechanic or petrol head and was keen for her daughter to follow her interests?

I think it's an odd conclusion to come to that the mother wanted a boy. I think it's more likely she was disappointed her daughter was a girly girl. I've seen so many posters on here moaning about their daughters being interested in things traditionally associated with girls. It's not that they don't want daughters- more that they want the right sort of daughter.

Because she told me. In fact she told anyone in hearing distance.
She was quite vocal in her disappointment that her Dd wasn’t a boy and wasn’t interested in the truck.

Who knows what was going on in random John Lewis woman’s head, to be honest I find the endless navel gazing about dungarees and barbie dolls a bit frustrating. Do you think sometimes there is just too much helicopter parenting over it?

During this lockdown I have noticed, particularly with our eldest dd, that despite the covid uncertainty and missing her friends and teachers, she is a lot more settled and less anxious about other things, particularly friendships and expectations at school. They have so many pressures coming from so many directions, apart from the appropriately timed encouragement that girls can do (nearly) anything in life that boys can, I think it’s generally best not to make an issue of their career ideas/clothing/hairstyle/toy choices etc. or pressuring them into gender neutral clothes when they’re in the middle of an Elsa phase. I think there is a danger of making children feel like a disappointment if the parent has too much expectation of what their child should like/be good at.

I am simultaneously bemoaning my hair style issues to my pal and working out how to construct a wooden frame for my garden from knackered old bits of wood I can find in my garage. I'm obviously not doing "woman" right.
And I'm on HRT.
Living the fucking dream.

I find the endless navel gazing about dungarees and barbie dolls a bit frustrating. Do you think sometimes there is just too much helicopter parenting over it?

I dunno. Ask those who throw those god awful these gender reveal parties and have their babies kitted out in dresses til high school graduation day before they are even born 🤮

Id forgotten about the awful gender reveals

The mum was bemoaning that the little girl went straight for the toy kitchen when she was trying to get her interested in the trucks

I've found that mums in a certain demographic seem to be focused on getting their kids to play with toys that are associated with the opposite sex. So they don't want their girls to play with pink things, dolls, etc, but if their boys are into that sort of thing, they are thrilled.

I think gender reveal parties are the flip side of the naval gazing, really.

She was quite vocal in her disappointment that her Dd wasn’t a boy and wasn’t interested in the truck

Bit of a drip feed there.

Sorry thought I had explained how disappointed she was in her Dd doing things that a girl would do.

Thought my description was of someone who really wanted a boy

Your description was of girl in cloths with a short hairstyle whose mother was encouraging her to play with toys that are totally suitable for a girl to play with but which did not interest her daughter who preferred toys that are totally fine for a boy to play with. I am not sure why you think a kitchen is a ‘girls toy’.

Thought my description was of someone who really wanted a boy

No. You explained how disappointed she was in her Dd doing things that a girl would do. It read to me of someone who is disappointed that her daughter likes things traditionally seen as for girls.

I've seen plenty of that on MN and FWR. It's usually accompanied by back tracking when pointed out how hypocritical it is.

I wasn’t the one complaining that my child was playing with a kitchen and not a truck.

Your description was of girl in cloths with a short hairstyle whose mother was encouraging her to play with toys that are totally suitable for a girl to play with but which did not interest her daughter who preferred toys that are totally fine for a boy to play with. I am not sure why you think a kitchen is a ‘girls toy’

No, the description was of a girl in dungarees and short hair who was playing with a toy kitchen. The mum was "bemoaning that the little girl went straight for the toy kitchen when she was trying to get her interested in the trucks"

The poster assumed this is because the mother wanted a boy rather than the being the sort of mother who wants to steer her child away from anything seen as "for girls" (although why a kitchen is for girls isn't clear)

Oliversmumsarmy

I wasn’t the one complaining that my child was playing with a kitchen and not a truck

I didn't say you were. I was querying your leap in interpreting the complaining as meaning the mother really wanted a son. I see it as someone who is disappointed her daughter likes things girls are supposed to like.

Since when have dungarees not been girls clothes? My daughter had many pairs when they were little and both still have a pair now. They weren’t even all ‘gender neutral’; some had flowers embroidered on them.

A quick google of ‘children’s dungarees’ shows slightly more girls in dungarees than boys.

My DD has lots of dungarees.