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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

8 year old boy wants to change with the girls

749 replies

FairytaleofBykerGrove · 06/03/2020 02:45

I’ve been informed that a boy in my daughters class ‘feels like a girl’. He’s been wearing dresses to school for a while (fine) and now wants to change with the girls for swimming. Apparently the children will all accept it no problem and they’d like the parents to do the same. He will be under a poncho towel so we don’t have to worry about his privacy(?) I am really very unhappy with this. Which is why I’m up at 3 in the morning. The other parents I’ve spoken to don’t seem to care either way. I can’t understand it at all. Do you have any advice for me?

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 07/03/2020 10:20

You're a star

Lordfrontpaw · 07/03/2020 10:20

The dad sided with the boy and not his daughter (wonder if he will be so understanding when his daughter is a teenager). Good for you.

If these things aren’t questioned then they will just go through as ‘everyone agreed’.

Lordfrontpaw · 07/03/2020 10:21

Is there a school governor board?

tegucigalpa13 · 07/03/2020 10:21

apparently the children will all accept it no problem

Children of that age will accept anything.

Look at the children who joined the children’s crusades, AQ, the Lord’s Resistance Army, those who denounced their parents in Cambodia, in North Korea etc. Look at the children in the cultural revolution in China.

Young children are not capable of critical thought. That is why adults need to make decisions for them.

StealthPolarBear · 07/03/2020 10:21

Lots of people won't have a problem with it. They've fully bought into the gender feels and (more importantly) that girls should ignore their feelingd and be kind. In ten years time we wil collectively look back in horror at this period of time.
Hope you're OK. I bet you're a bit shaky now it's done.

Lordfrontpaw · 07/03/2020 10:22

As a teacher further up said - she could persuade 95% of the children in her class of ABC. Children will believe most things (like sex can be changed for example).

PaleBlueMoonlight · 07/03/2020 10:26

Well done Fairytale.

Gibbonsgibbonsgibbons · 07/03/2020 10:28

Well done fairy Flowers
I hope you get some more vocal support soon I bet you have silent support grateful that you are protecting their daughters (hopefully they will write privately themselves)

Lordfrontpaw · 07/03/2020 10:29

When those girls grow up they will ask their parents why they didn’t protest.

And as you know - kids keep things quiet between them. So if there were any instances of such a situation and a boy is touching girls, asking them personal questions, gawping at them, making lewd comments, etc these will come out much later, as kids do have they weird ‘code of silence’ thing sometimes don’t they?

How many times has a conversation come up? For example: this is a true story - when I was at primary (P7 so we were a about 11) a dad came along on a school residential.

He used to walk unannounced into the girls dorm at bed time (‘to check up on us’), and in one instance a girl fell over onto her bum. He rubbed it for her - for quite a while actually 😳.

No one told their parents. We felt uneasy around him and mentioned it amongst ourselves but not to anyone else. Especially to any adults or the boys.

SarahTancredi · 07/03/2020 10:30

Well done.

I'm wondering if those who didnt agree will change their minds in year 6 when the kid s are all so much bigger and their daughters are all at that stage where they are really uncomfortable

StealthPolarBear · 07/03/2020 10:31

And if we are centering our concern aroubd the boy, which is clearly the rule, I'd also be worried about him. Lots of sniggering from the girls and suggestions he looked at one girl lonher than the others. No real malice ut just girls feeling awkward and being silly

TheProdigalKittensReturn · 07/03/2020 10:31

Well done, Fairytale, keep at it!

ittooshallpass · 07/03/2020 10:32

One father saying “we no problem with it because we are understanding”

That smacks of a man who gives his children no dignity or respect.

StealthPolarBear · 07/03/2020 10:32

By then hell have been pressured to socially transition and hell have a lady penis.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 07/03/2020 10:35

Well done Thanks

Original poster
FairytaleofBykerGrove · 07/03/2020 10:37

Thank you so much. Yes I was shaky. When I got the second reply saying thanks I was crying with relief. I hope I haven’t made trouble for my children socially.

To respond to some of the questions: I did consider copying in the parents of the boys as suggested but it seemed too much. I have details of the governors but I want to give the head a chance to respond before I go over her head. My suspicion is that she is between a rock and a hard place herself and I want to see if this was her testing the waters or if it is a ‘done deal’. Yes it is an ET school.

OP posts:
Mintjulia · 07/03/2020 10:38

At 8 I wouldn’t worry. And primary school teachers are very good at recognising children’s stages of development.
We had a little boy in our school, smallest in the class identified with the girls, a long way off puberty, very timid, so he was allowed to change in a cubicle in the girls changing room. No-one complained and there were no problems

He’s coping fine and is more masculine at the local senior school. He just needed time and a bit of support.

Sexnotgender · 07/03/2020 10:42

Well done.

SarahTancredi · 07/03/2020 10:42

He’s coping fine and is more masculine at the local senior school. He just needed time and a bit of support

Amd what about the girls who need time and support as they are abuse victims or have witnessed domestic violence. Where do they change

StealthPolarBear · 07/03/2020 10:42

Were any of the girls close to puberty? Why were only his feelings and his situation taken into account here?

Disneydoll12 · 07/03/2020 10:43

Well done! I wonder what that fathers opinion would be if his daughter decided she is a boy and wanted to change in with the 15 or so boys in her class? Shame on him for not regarding his daughters right to privacy from males.

You've made the first step, you have spoken up for your daughter and the rest of the girls in that class that haven't been given a voice.

Good luck x

StealthPolarBear · 07/03/2020 10:43

Of course no one complained. They were being kind and suppressing any discomfort. That's what girls and women are expected to do.

Rainbowqueeen · 07/03/2020 10:44

Well done OP. I thank you for standing up for your DD and all the other girls at your school.
I think others will email now too but maybe won’t be brave enough to admit it
Keep us posted.

1984in2019 · 07/03/2020 10:48

@Mintjulia why is it appropriate for less masculine boys to undress with girls? Girls are not a subset of boys.

Well done OP, I am so proud of you.
I am Irish incidentally and although I don’t live in Ireland anymore I don’t know anyone of my generation who has bought into this bollox at the expense of children’s safeguarding- not least with the Catholic church’s hold over schools in very recent memory - so I very much doubt you are alone. Be prepared to go to the governors and even your local TD (if they are sensible).
Good luck and keep us posted Flowers

Lordfrontpaw · 07/03/2020 10:49

What’s an ET school?