Puzzled - Philip Schofield

[howwillthispanout]

Sorry if this has been covered already but I’ve been offline all day - has there been any discussion re PS’s announcement today on this board? Especially in relation to wife and daughters

The only thing that surprised me in the interview was Holly alluding to the fact that he might go and have a boyfriend now, seemed to forget the fact that he is still married to Steph!!

And that stupid 'analysis' on the BBC. He's not come out as lgbt, he's come out as a gay man.

Also Holly Willoughby cries at everything but not this. I found parts of it moving. I don’t believe this was a massive revelation to anyone.

It reminds me of good friends of my parents - it was an ‘open secret‘ that he was gay and married with kids. That was what it was like back in the day.

Nice people, no drama or tears.

Were they happy? They were content with life - and a genuinely really cheery family (we knew them quite well and they were a lovely lot).

The couple were like best friends - always together, joking, holding hands... it worked for them - the rest was no one else’s business.

It would have been very strange if he had announced to the world ‘I’m gay, ta-ra’.

I suspect that this is a career move or someone is pressuring him to do this and he/his PR team have decided to go for the sympathy vote (tears, so brave, hug...). I am very cynical though...

"just being true to himself"

This phrase really does give men a free pass to do whatever the F they want despite the carnage it leaves in their wake.

Philip Schofield has done nothing but attention seek for as long as I remember. You don't wake up when you are nearly 60 and decide you are gay. You've known it for a long time, probably since teens. He had deceived his wife and DC for his own benefit, probably to make sure his career wasn't affected.

I am not homophobic at all. In fact people like him make it more difficult for honest gay men who don't lie and deceive women and ruin their lives.

Philip Schofield is a cad. I have no empathy for his situation at all. I will save all of that for his deceived wife and daughters. I refuse to watch anything with him in ever again.

Humous, totally agree. Fascinated by the pr spin on this. His popularity was plummeting and look, now he's a shining hero. Anyone who says otherwise is homophobic.

No interest whether he's gay, straight or anywhere in between but he doesn't seem a particularly nice bloke under the facade and I wouldn't want to work with him.

@LimboLandisRubbish

This is how I feel. It's not ok to deceive a woman for the best years of her life. P S knew what he was doing, she didn't. I would be so angry and hurt that my life had been lie.

I don’t understand how people can purely view it from his POV. Think - what if my spouse of almost 30 years announced this (to the world). How would I feel?

I am nearly 50, when I was 20 I worked in a theatre and met and socialised with lots of gay men and women. We socialised totally ‘underground’, gay clubs were not even known to me until then, they looked like normal houses and you had to knock on the front door and someone looked through a hatch to let you in! Coming out in the 80s and 90s was difficult, one of my best friends did this and was angst ridden for weeks before telling his parents.
So I can see why PS wouldn’t have done it at the time and tried to deny his feelings. I am sure he has and still does love his wife. He said in the interview his hand has not been forced at all, I guess he just wants it all out in the open now. I can understand that. Is he brave, I’m not sure? Do I feel sadness for his wife, absolutely.

My sister came out in AFN Scotland in the 80s. She wasn’t working in the media or in entertainment. She was just a teenage girl at school.

Jilly I know, I'm of the generation where we (or so I thought) don't think 'coming out' is even necessary and isn't brave or courageous as there's nothing or shameful about being one sexuality or another.
All this has really unsettled me and makes me worry for younger people, as it would seem that being gay is still a big deal and something you have to 'admit' to with a special, somber segment on national television. It's all been utterly bizarre

It is bizarre. It's regressive.

Everything is a big deal now. I’ve seen on the internet’gender reveal’ events for adults.

I don't understand the "he's so brave" comments. Or how he's proud to be gay. If I said I was proud to be heterosexual, I presume I'd be labelled as homophobic. No one should be ashamed of their sexuality, but being proud of it is an odd phrase.

@SpokeTooSoon
Yes!!! With bells on!!!

"I just keep wondering why this has to be made public. What’s his next move? I can’t imagine being so interested in my sexuality that I have to make public statements about it. And I’m sorry, but there is something icky about a man pushing 60 making statements like this. He’s basically saying I’m off to have sex with men and just wanted to keep you all in the loop.

Imagine if he’d announced he was no longer into his wife in a sexual way and would like everyone to know he’s planning on sleeping with other women from now on.

But because he’s gay it’s brilliant, right?"

Of course he loves his wife and kids. They have doubtless contributed immensely to the comfort and satisfaction and security of his life. And now that he’s had all that he also gets to cruise into the final part of his career as a brave and courageous shining beacon of light for the gay community in the name of “speaking your truth” and “living your best life”. Lucky him. Not so lucky wife.

He once told how Steph housesat for him when he worked on TV projects abroad “and never moved out”.

On living with her during those early days, Phillip said: “I like having someone to come home to and discuss things with.

"I like coming home when the lights are on in the house, bread’s being baked and the garden is mowed.”

And

When quizzed if he was dating Steph to hide a secret, Phillip said: “‘You can’t win, can you?”

Having a family and watching them grow up was clearly important for the couple. Phillip said: “It was something I’d always looked forward to. It was something I desperately wanted.

“It’s difficult in this job to find the right person, and the person who would get to know you and marry you for the right reasons. So I was very lucky with Steph. There aren’t many like her around.

These comments haven't aged well and I don't think are a great look. They certainly aren't terribly 'progressive'.

The whole stunning and brave narrative really grates. It's the whole having your cake and eating thing here.

I can see it as anything other than Phil wanting someone in the kitchen for him and to carry his children for him. And he ultimately gets sainted for it.

@Justmuddlingalong with regards to the proud to be gay comments, I think it's in retaliation to the idea that being gay/LGBT was something to be ashamed of - more so in the past but still today that opinion exists. Hence Pride etc - it's people saying I'm not ashamed, I'm proud of who I am, not going to hide it etc.

You can absolutely be proud of being straight, it's not homophobic it'd just be a bit of a weird declaration as there's no widely held belief that being straight is something to be ashamed of.

*I can't see it

I’m assuming a Sunday tabloid was going to run a story, given the timing.

It’s depressing that anyone’s sexuality is a news story.

And hell yes the 80s were homophobic. Elton John sued The Sun for libel for saying he was gay - and WON. So I can see why PS would keep it quiet.

Still, having your husband of decades go on television to say he never found you attractive is pretty fucking devastating, I’d imagine, no matter how long you’d known about it in private.

So is he getting divorced? Surely it would have been more dignified to make any such a statement after separation.

I was surprised he's married, I thought I had heard he was gay but not really out years ago.

Philip Schofield has done nothing but attention seek for as long as I remember. You don't wake up when you are nearly 60 and decide you are gay. You've known it for a long time, probably since teens. He had deceived his wife and DC for his own benefit, probably to make sure his career wasn't affected.
100% agree. When my gay ex, who finally came out at a similar age to Schofield, said he'd known he had feelings for boys when he was in junior school.

I am not homophobic at all. In fact people like him make it more difficult for honest gay men who don't lie and deceive women and ruin their lives. This is exactly what one of my gay friends said to me yesterday.

Yes. That makes sense. But...if he's saying that you shouldn't hide who you really are, to be honest with yourself and those around you, about your sexuality, why has he got to his late 50s, married for yonks with 2 grown up daughters, is he making the big announcement. Seems a bit "do as I say, not as I do". Is it really possible to repress your sexuality all that time? Genuine question.

I really feel for his daughters too, as someone who's in the same position but thankfully without the glare of TV cameras etc. I'm presuming they're close to me in age (mid twenties)?

There seems to be a lot of pressure on this age bracket to be aggressively accepting of everything, no exceptions, and if you don't just nod your head and say "stunning and brave" you're bigoted and homophobic etc etc.

I'm bi myself and go to Pride and would consider myself the furthest thing away from homophobic, but when it's a parent coming out it stirs up a lot of strange feelings. The biggest one for me, especially when you hear people talking about "what a shame you had to live a lie", "if only you'd been able to come out _ years ago" is that you know you wouldn't have existed if that happened, and you start wondering if they would rather have been who they were inside from the start and the expense of having you.

It's a selfish position for sure but it's a lonely one because if you talk to anyone about it, they're still in the "stunning and brave" mode and you're just being homophobic. I'm worried it'll be amplified for them because of the public support For PS.

Maybe they've known for years and had ages to overcome this, but I just hope they have unbiased, unjudgmental support around them.

It's all about him isn't it? Me, me, me.

I don’t understand how people can purely view it from his POV. Think - what if my spouse of almost 30 years announced this (to the world). How would I feel?

I felt shock, shame (can't explain this one) anger (at his deceiving me for the whole of our 30 year marriage) devastation that the man I thought I knew was someone I really didn't know at all, grief at the breakup of our family especially for our two daughters and the future we had planned etc etc.