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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Puzzled - Philip Schofield

332 replies

howwillthispanout · 07/02/2020 20:37

Sorry if this has been covered already but I’ve been offline all day - has there been any discussion re PS’s announcement today on this board? Especially in relation to wife and daughters

OP posts:
CrocodilesCry · 07/02/2020 23:38

People saying they feel for his wife - he said very clearly they have no secrets and that she has known this for some years - possibly the whole of their marriage - but certainly for some time.

It's not something he announced to her last night and went straight on the TV to talk about this morning Confused

As for the people saying he must be bi because he fathered his children? His sexuality is his sexuality. He defines his sexuality - nobody else. If he identifies as gay, he is gay, end of story.

I just truly hope he hasn't been on the end of a blackmail plot - there's already been an awful high-profile one this year.

Peaseblossom22 · 07/02/2020 23:39

Remember in the 1980s you would still be dismissed from the army for being gay . It was still pretty much a taboo , difficult to understand now.

WorkingItOutAsIGo · 07/02/2020 23:43

Bejasus. Some of us are old enough to remember the 80s and it wasn’t so fucking retrograde as you are imagining. It does not explain/excuse anyone hiding their sexuality until 2020. We had bloody Boy George, Freddie Mercury, Peter Tatchell...Elton john the list goes on...

Haworthia · 07/02/2020 23:44

Peters did broom cupboard from 89, think he was always out wasn't he?

He wasn’t out then and he isn’t out now, although nowadays I assume he feels like he doesn’t need to.

Haworthia · 07/02/2020 23:45

Ah crap, my C&P missed out Andi there Grin

WorkingItOutAsIGo · 07/02/2020 23:49

I love the comments about the risk of being murdered or the army: neither has anything to do with this. This is just another opportunistic guy hiding his true nature and messing up his wife and kids...and then dumping them to be free. Not kind. Not something brave.

WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 07/02/2020 23:50

Bejasus. Some of us are old enough to remember the 80s

Yeah. I'm one of them.

We had bloody Boy George, Freddie Mercury, Peter Tatchell...Elton john the list goes on...
So? Because you have a list of people that felt they could come out, means everyone automatically felt safe doing so?
You don't know everyone's circumstances, circles that they moved in, what their family and friends thought.....
It was definitely more taboo back then than it is now.
I mean, it's only been very recently that gay marriage has been allowed!
1960s I think when being gay was decriminalised (could be wrong on the decade) - the early 80s wasn't long after and attitudes will have taken a while to change.
What about Section 28? When you basically weren't allowed to teach or mention being gay around kids? That was definitely a thing brought in in the 80s.

FrogsFrogs · 07/02/2020 23:50

Ah ok re Andi

Not sure why I thought that

I think the 80s was odd in that while there were loads of gay men all over the media not exactly making a secret of it

They still didn't 'come out' or be seen out with other men

Things are definitely different now but the idea that it was a total nono for men in entertainment in London to be gay is somewhat off the mark.

And even if he didn't want to come out, getting married to a woman and having 2 kids is a different sort of thing.

I do think however that people should be free to define their sexuality (within reasonable parameters!) and people are complicated and have different backgrounds etc.

My reaction to the other thread where a married woman is wondering about her sexuality, and the responses, did make me wonder a bit about the response to this.

FrogsFrogs · 07/02/2020 23:51

Witch's I posted the year for decrim in England upthread.

Have you not read the thread.

If you haven't it's good to say not rtft so people know.

SarahAndQuack · 07/02/2020 23:51

Of course it has to do with this.

He's coming out. Do you think he'll be magically immune to homophobic violence because he was once married?

You are very naive. People will treat him just like any other gay man.

I agree, his wife deserves enormous sympathy. But I do not see why admitting that has to mean we all embrace a homophobic revision of history.

nauticant · 07/02/2020 23:54

he said very clearly they have no secrets and that she has known this for some years - possibly the whole of their marriage - but certainly for some time

Considering that PRs will have been all over this and there will be behind-the-scenes discussions between the people involved to stick to the released story, I am taking every announcement with a very large pinch of salt.

OntheWaves40 · 07/02/2020 23:56

So middle aged bloke with wife of 20 odd years says he’s not attracted to her and wants to go bonk someone else and everyone is “proud”. So what he’s gay, why would someone be proud that he’s gay? Who cares. I don’t get what his sexuality has to do with anything. He’s basically had his head turned and what’s to get it on with someone else and play the victim. Lots of gay celebrities in the 80s. It wasn’t the 40s.

SonjaMorgan · 08/02/2020 00:03

@Justanotherlurker his gender isn't relevent. I worked with a woman who behaved in the same way as PS although she came out after a couple of years. We were friends but her actions hurt her husband and I feel terribly for him. Yes she had her reasons for trying to lead a "normal" life but she could have remained single and her actions have ultimately hurt others.

NoSquirrels · 08/02/2020 00:13

It does not explain/excuse anyone hiding their sexuality until 2020

No one is obliged to announce their sexuality, celebrity or not. You don’t “come out” as hetero, or get accused of “hiding” that you are attracted to the opposite sex.

The world is FULL of accounts of women who married gay men, or gay men who married women they loved e.g. Elton John and Freddie Mercury (both previously cited in thread, both who married female partners then subsequently ‘came out’ as gay ). FFS -people are complex, they lie TO THEMSELVES as much as to others.

Maybe PS’s wife knew all along.
Maybe PS knew all along.
Maybe PS buried it and his wife buried any suspicions too.
Maybe he was going to be outed in the press.
Maybe he’s sincere and “couldn’t keep living a lie”.
Maybe she’s heartbroken, maybe she’s not.

It’s all speculation and therefore grubby. His sexuality = his business. Apart from where it intersects with other people he knows personally, which STILL = his business, regardless of whether that’s his wife or boyfriend.

Floisme · 08/02/2020 00:14

Boy George, Freddie Mercury, Peter Tatchell...Elton john the list goes on...
As far as I remember the only one on that list who was openly gay in the 80s was Peter Tatchell, who stood as a labour candidate in a by-election and got hammered following a blatantly homophobic campaign by his opponents. Elton John even got married (to a woman). George Michael only came out when he was arrested in the late 90s. Section 28 was brought in during the late 80s and not repealed until around 2000.

I still reserve most of my sympathies for Schofield!s wife and family but the 80s were not a tolerant time.

NigellaAwesome · 08/02/2020 00:15

I find it odd that there has been such a media fuss about it. Ironically, one of our 'biggest' local radio presenters who is rumoured to be gay but in the closet spent a large part of his show today discussing it.

Daffodil55 · 08/02/2020 00:15

Without trawling through all the posts in the threads on this subject I will just give my view.

I was not shocked at learning he says he is gay but I was quite shocked he has announced it to the world. Could it be a fluke that he has done it the morning after the Michael Barrymore documentary which inculded MB's coming out very publicly?

I thought at first it was a piece of fake news as it popped up on my side bar on screen this morning, much like My wife gave Birth to a Kangaroo type of stupid news snippets which are supposed to catch our eye and get us to click onto dodgy websites.

Good old Schofield sent the Prince Andrew birthday flag news to the back of the queue for a while though so not all bad.

WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 08/02/2020 00:20

He’s basically had his head turned and what’s to get it on with someone else and play the victim

Eh? Unless you're him, how could you possibly know that he's "had his head turned?"
Maybe there's no-one else in the picture at all but he felt he couldn't live a lie any longer?

sunshinesupermum · 08/02/2020 00:20

I dont think he is brave and have rolled my eyes several times today at the absolute gushing posts on social media about it. In fact the interview with Holly left me irrationally angry. This.

Newsnight now interviewing a woman who does a support group for women in situation like PS wife.

She doesn't run it but is a member of the only support group for
people in the same situation as Schofield's wife, Straight Partners Anonymous, as am I. We are never mentioned when a celebrity comes out as gay, because media outlets are worried they will be seen as homophobic if they offer us any support. You couldn't make it up.

NoSquirrels · 08/02/2020 00:23

the 80s were not a tolerant time

Indeed, at the height of AIDS as an epidemic, they were positively intolerant. Freddie Mercury didn’t come out before he died.

Really, read up if you need to.

blueshoes · 08/02/2020 00:30

My first thought is he found someone he wants to openly have a relationship with. So he dumps his wife in public who hid his secret all these years.

I hope I am wrong but will be interesting to see what happens in the next few months after the furore has died down.

WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 08/02/2020 00:39

My first thought is he found someone he wants to openly have a relationship with.

Total speculation though. You're not him.

WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 08/02/2020 00:41

I hope I am wrong but will be interesting to see what happens in the next few months after the furore has died down

Even if he did get a boyfriend in the next few months or years, so what?
Where's the cut off point that he's allowed to acknowledge his sexuality and date someone new?

Imnobody4 · 08/02/2020 00:43

I feel this is being made a meal of really. I couldn't care less hope he's happy and his wife. But who else cares. The BBC LBGT correspondent is being wheeled out to utter banalities.
What about Tom Robinson 'Sing if you're glad to be gay'. Then married a woman.
Tatchell stated: "Tom Robinson has behaved rather commendably, in my view. Ever since the beginning of his relationship with Sue, he has continued to describe himself as 'a gay man who happens to be in love with a woman'. Who could quarrel with that? I can't."
Frankly I think it would be much braver to come out as a Christian. I'm talking about the whole PR machine.

tenlittlecygnets · 08/02/2020 00:43

Friends say it came as a devastating blow to his loyal wife of nearly 27 years, and mother of their grown-up daughters, Molly and Ruby. One said: “Steph is being a rock for Phillip, as she always has been, but there’s no denying she is absolutely shattered by all This. She and the girls love him very much and will support him as much as they can, but the knowledge they have been living a lie for so long is terribly hurtful.

From the Mirror. Truth or not? Who knows, but quite likely to be...

"It’s humiliating to think that you’re married to someone who doesn’t love you in the way you love them.”