Puzzled - Philip Schofield

[howwillthispanout]

Sorry if this has been covered already but I’ve been offline all day - has there been any discussion re PS’s announcement today on this board? Especially in relation to wife and daughters

I don't think it is wrong to openly talk/speculate about the ramifications his actions have caused his family

I don’t think it’s homophobic. But I guess I do think it’s “wrong”. Speculation about anyone I don’t know, and who hasn’t spoken publicly, sits uneasily with me. It’s dressed up as concern, but really how could it be? How would it feel for PS’s wife to read speculation about whether she knew/how long she’d known/how shitty this person she still probably loves is?

Why is he not bisexual if he has had sex with a woman for years and fathered children?

It's up to him to define his sexuality.
And sexuality does not = who you have sex with.

It's up to him to define his sexuality. Not really.

And sexuality does not = who you have sex with. Yes really.

DB is gay, he had a GF for years before coming out. I personally feel it’s unfair to suggest he’s wrong to hide this as it embarrasses his family for whatever reasons. Being gay isn’t a choice, people hide it or refuse to accept it for a numbers of reasons.

Also - how very dare you start another thread, Op

Having read the interview someone posted from before he got married and being as everyone seemed to know. I am increasingly thinking Steph knew and it was a lavender marriage or she agreed to be a beard.

No I can't agree with that.

'It's up to him to define his sexuality. Not really'

I worked in HIV prevention in the 90s and it was always targeted at men who have sex with men (and idu) as if it was targeted at gay or bisexual men, it would miss men who did have sex with men but saw themselves as heterosexual.

'And sexuality does not = who you have sex with. Yes really.'

No not at all. In porn 'gay for pay' is a thing. The women who are with women may not be gay. Loads of people all over the world who are gay are in het relationships for a variety of reasons. There are gay people who are not sexually active, also straight people who are not sexually active. People experiment. Many kids know their sexuality before becoming sexually active.

The thing with all this is that the current push to totally redefine what these things mean eg a male and female identifying as a queer or gay couple etc is undermining the reasons these things were a bit flexible in the first place.

There are also a lot of conversations around enforced heterosexuality which feed into it all.

It's a real shame tbh.

The other reason might be that bi people are still viewed with suspicion by both straight and gay people.

I was more surprised by the fact he was married for 27 years with kids as I thought he was gay (well never really thought about it but I wasn't shocked when someone told me that he was - but was shocked at the marriage bit)

I hope the coming out part was his choice and not that he has been forced into it the way some people have been by the media

I think it was another big parenting site, not here that I remember being truly sickened by a thread how she was scaring the kids.

I think remember that site/thread @WotchaTalkinBoutWillis. It was a bit off the wall.

I don't think it is wrong to openly talk/speculate about the ramifications his actions have caused his family

Being so wrapped up in ideology that you have to resort to the idpol stack of how it effects the woman for oppression points in the situation is just the mirror of 'what about the men', it would be ironic if we hadn't got into this situation of it being serious.

Mumsnet has a new issue of being open misandry and being pro lgbt, this really is a situation where if the genders where reversed this forum would act differently.

It's another contribution to why MN is considered Stormfront on Prosecco among the wider internet community

You’ve all misheard - he said he’s GREY!

Of course who you have sex with doesn't define your sexuality.

By that reckoning, anyone who'd never had sex would be incapable of a sexual orientation. Anyone who'd married no knowing what it felt like to feel truly aroused, would be a liar. That's absurd.

I am really struggling with responses to this news.

I admit, I have not seen the posts @SonjaMorgan mentions, that claim 'claiming that anything negative written about him is homophobic'. If I had seen those, I would disagree very strongly with them. But most of what I've seen has either been idiots insisting he 'must be' bisexual, homophobic straight men and women saying how homophobia doesn't exist any more, or homophobic straight men and women explaining how gay people always know they're gay, so Schofield must have been lying.

It just seems to me basic feminism 101 to recognise that gender is a constricting pressure on most of us, and that does affect sexuality too.

@AnotherMonthAnotherName that's all well and good in theory.

If he openly told his wife before he had sex with her just to let you know I am actually gay and having sex with you doesnt "define" my sexuality.

I am highly sceptical that happened but who knows.

I dont think he is brave and have rolled my eyes several times today at the absolute gushing posts on social media about it. In fact the interview with Holly left me irrationally angry.

Newsnight now interviewing a woman who does a support group for women in situation like PS wife.

Saying not much support. Interviewer says all the comments about the man.

So if someone lives in the closet for years they are less gay than someone who has always been 'out'?- yeah, right

To whomever mentioned the brilliant Michael Ball, it’s been rumoured for years and years that he is actually gay, and that his much older wife is a fully aware beard. They even have separate wings of the house they share. That nugget came out when a fire broke out and they had to be rescued. They claimed it was because of his or hers snoring I think. It was rumoured that he and Paul Nicholas (yes really!) were at it during Jesus Christ Superstar, and that it wasn’t much of a secret!

Meh who knows?

Rainbowb
🤣🤣🤣

I always assumed PS was gay and that his wife knew.

I don't care but do not believe that it was hard to come out in the 1980's.

My Gay friends were out in the 1970's. And it mattered less in showbiz.

Imagine being on a forum that is considered progressive and still trying to pull an idpol stack.

The covert misandry is dripping in this thread.

perhaps his family just love him and want him to be ok.i thknk this is ,ore recent years hes struggled with this.maybe always knowing something wasnt right but it can come about in alll sorts of ways.
my mums friend was sim.got married because it was just the thing you do.but he always had an unsettling in him.and he didnt realise what it was.but he DID love his wife a much as he thought anyone could or should.she was his best friend and assumed his love for her was like any other.until the feeling starting become more prominent and he was stressed and ashamed but still not knowing why!until suddenly it pinged.
and i think all the people jobs and tv dont care if he was gay.bullshit.
from what ive seen of him and his wife he adored her.and he said that today.they are still a unit.but living with that in him was eating him up.and it would.
maybe they will get through.and im sure they will feel a ripple of emotions.it will be like grieving.but to put our own judgment to poison what is now going to be a very difficult time is just no on.
yes its hard for all.but it doesnt mean they cant get through it together.and it would help them if everyone helped them to do this and not spit poison.
why would he come out,why when he has the lovely family unit he put himself and them through this if he just couldnt live like this anymore.

I don't care but do not believe that it was hard to come out in the 1980's

Really? I'm not gay but attitudes were definitely less tolerant in the 80s, I can well imagine it was hard to come out, as you wouldn't know what reception you were going to get.
I mean, if gay people even now would feel uncomfortable for example holding hands down the street even in these more enlightened, PC times, can you imagine what it was like back in the 80s?
Just because you were fortunate to have friends/family who didn't care, doesn't mean every one will have been so lucky.

I don't care but do not believe that it was hard to come out in the 1980's.

It was.

You know people have been murdered, in the UK, in the 1980s, 90s, and thereafter, for being gay?

How is it not hard to come out, when you know you might be murdered?

why would he come out,why when he has the lovely family unit he put himself and them through this if he just couldnt live like this anymore

Exactly
You wouldn''t, he must have felt that he couldn't hide it any longer.

I suspect the press were about to print something.

The press are bastards (some parts of it).

I've a long history of being part of the LBGTQ community and I well remember the 80s and 90s. There were Pride marches, there were tonnes of people openly out but people in showbusiness were often advised to stay in the closet.

I bet he was pressured by his agents.

My dad left my mum after we found out he'd been having extra marital affairs. Transpired that he is gay too. My mum has been left devastated, ten years on now and she will never get over it. I have no issues with my dad's sexuality, it's the deceitful behaviour I objected too. Nevertheless I've seen first hand the fall out and don't agree a) with the incessant media coverage of this and b) applauding him to this extent. I'm glad he's been able to liberate himself and share but I do feel for his wife.