Story of Richard Hoskins detrasitioner in Mail on Sunday

[Needmoresleep]

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Powerful.

How many more stories will there be?

A brilliant article, beautifully written, I hope voices like his are listened to.

That’s a very sad story and I hope this unfortunate man can heal his physical and mental trauma.

But what struck me about the article was that men, even-cross dressing men (or possibly particularly cross-dressing men), don’t see women as fully human.

The idea that “escaping” into “Rachel”, was a way of escaping pain; that frilly lingerie is somehow an antidote for grief, is the same tired, old trope about women having it easy while men go out and do hard, manly things.

And teenage girls are not attempting to retain autonomy and safety in the face of sexually predatory men and a society which both sexualises and disparages them, but suffering “body image issues“.

Being a woman is not a bubble bath and frilly knickers, any more than being a man is chest-beating and eating steak.

I’ll give it 12 hours before Twitter starts abusing him.

I wept for him, for his son, and his son's mother.

Heartbreaking.

“My reasons for wanting a new identity”

Wow, I’ve never seen it expressed so clearly and never thought of it quite so starkly. The driver is wanting a new identity, to escape from the old. The reasons will be myriad.

He makes a point of discussing dignity for women and their spaces too.

”I came to think of the ladies’ as my safest space on Earth. In there, no one could hurt me.” Another great statement from the piece, which crystallised for me why we’re so ‘precious’ about defending female-only spaces. It really is the feeling of safety.

He makes a point of discussing dignity for women and their spaces too”.

When it no longer suited him to use the safe spaces of the “fairer” sex.

Poor man. His story is desperately sad. It's very brave of him to come forward.

Dance, my thoughts exactly.

80 hours of electrolysis on the NHS? As far as I am aware, women with PCOS don’t qualify for any funded electrolysis. It’s an interesting account, but I am gobsmacked at the level of resource being thrown at this when NHS rationing is so extensive in other conditions. Many regions will only treat a cataract in one eye if both are affected on the basis that “one good eye” is sufficient. Women with crippling back pain from large breasts are expected to fund their own breast reduction surgery privately. I could go on and on. If this was treated like other areas of practice, talking therapy would be tried first as a less invasive approach - and to manage costs to the NHS - with surgery offered as a last resort.

Yes I was shocked at the ease with which the NHS signed off on the surgery. How much money must this all cost? Especially when people are being denied treatments elsewhere due to funding.

I'm also now fuming over the 80 hours electrolysis that he was given. Something that is routinely denied to hirsute women. I have embarrassingly dark hair on my face and have had so since I was a teen (enough that I could grow a beard if left to it's own devices). I have been turned down for help numerous times at the doctors as it has affected my self confidence and worth.

It's like we're second class citizens isn't it.

He will no doubt face considerable abuse for telling his story. It's tragic how easily his massive trauma and bereavement was completely ignored. That 'memorandum of good practice' forced on the medical profession by powerful lobby groups has a lot to answer for.

I'm glad he's written this and that the Mail have published it, especially that he draws the parallel with children and adolescents and co morbidities. I can only hope that he is able to finally able to find some peace.

Acceptance without exception is causing untold damage to people’s lives.

Poor guy. What a lot he has had to cope with.

I wish the gender ID clinics and Webberleys would take heed.

But this is big business now.

The ease at which the NHS signs this off is indeed shocking.

I’m sure the Webberleys and the like get their patients to sign lots of consent forms etc to cover their arses when the inevitable shit hits the fan.

Poor James Caspian must be grinding his teeth at how hard it has been to draw attention to the plight of detransitioners. The only saving grace is that that their stories are now being heard.

What a sad story. What happened to his son is truly awful. And at last the link is made that this can be prompted by deep trauma but trauma that is not intrinsically about gender dysphoria.

Poor man - so much grief

This was very sad to read

However it was interesting that both he and David - the Telegraph columnist - had female friends offering to nurse and support them after the surgery. In David’s case he mentioned her reassuring him that he looked fabulous or something. I think that fits with their view of women - to nurse and prop men up.

But what struck me about the article was that men, even-cross dressing men (or possibly particularly cross-dressing men), don’t see women as fully human.
Indeed. In the article he says he was "Inspired by youthful images of smiling women". It seems like this desire to become a 'woman' comes from a false impression of what life is like for women, gained from advertising, movies, the media and porn. It's the same kind of expectations that causes men to demand random women smile for them, as though we exist solely for their entertainment, or why groups of drunk men descend on a lone woman walking through town and expect her to take their sexual innuendos and touching in good-humour - because what else does she exist for? - or why women get followed around the gym and pestered or gawped at when they're trying to work-out, because these men's minds are filled with porno fantasies. It seems many men only see women as accessories to their own desires, having no conception that we are sentient beings with our own aspirations, desires, agendas.

Wht a tragic story.

I wonder if the PTSD is connected - someone was discussing how so many ex-military are affected by dysphoria. I don't suppose anybody would be able to look at that link, would they? Seeing as it's not an illness or disorder and there's absolutely no need to consider why so many people are feeling such distress at their 'wrong bodies' or 'wrong brains'? Best to just have them try out the full transition, surgery, irreversible decisions, and then see how they feel afterwards?

I really don't understand why more TRAs aren't furious about how they are being treated - essentially as bottomless cash pits for plastic surgeons and private clinics/medics (and Not All Medics, I know).

YY. Many of these male people have fucked up views about women. Not just trans MTF people, a lot of men don't see women they don't know or care about as people. I formerly used to post on sites where I discussed sexual harassment with men and many really do seem to think we are just background scenery in their busy and important lives.

Reminding them that other men feel the same way about their wives and daughters sometimes helps, but it's depressing that we have to.

It seems many men only see women as accessories to their own desires, having no conception that we are sentient beings with our own aspirations, desires, agendas.

But sometimes as people who are strong enough to do the things they can't do. A sort of mother figure.

I said goodbye to him the day before he died on December 4, 2009. I left the decision to switch off his life to his mother, Sue. I simply could not do it.

I think that fits with their view of women - to nurse and prop men up.

Absolutely. We are the support humans.