The Badley Fuckitt Pop-Up Winter Gin Bar

[BadgertheBodger]

Come one, come all!

Badley Fuckitt’s pop-up Winter gin bar is open for business. We’ve got faux-sheepskins, a log fire being stoked by young Nigel and enough gin to drown an army of sealions. (Note to PETA, not real ones, natch)

Collapses on chaise longue and weakly gestures for the bottle

Surely not with anything that has crumbs?

I haven't had a drink for a great many years but I did make some Christmas pudding vodka last year from an MN recipe and people told me it was delicious. and then they rambled shite at me for hours

Mine's a non-alcoholic beer if anyone is serving?

Has the glass bottle ever exploded in the dishwasher?

Grinitch - The mention of New Fuckitt made me smile, because I’d forgotten all about our sister settlement in New England. More fool me. Anyway, special credit for the correct British English usage of fanny. 👌 Which has reminded me of a conversation between 2 small girls, 1 American, and the British girl’s mother I witnessed in a shop this summer where the American girl loudly declared the bum bag in her hands was “the cutest fanny pack I’ve ever seen.” The Brit mum and daughter froze and nearby by-standers suddenly turned to gawk with faces like this > . Fortunately, being British everyone quickly masked their horror and smiled pleasantly. The small American girl was unaware of the stir she’d created.

Two nations divided by a common language. DH did manage to ask his American secretary for a rubber, and an American colleague never did understand why British women sometimes looked a bit querulous at his enthusiastic greeting "Hi, I'm Randy"

Just found myself on the wrong side of history, can I sneak in here instead?

Am drinking anything sour.

What shape is history, anyway, is it penis shaped?

Well that was a long dog walk. It's been a bit of a day so I figured I needed another night in our private club.

I have three small dogs available for loan and a very naice bottle of fizz to share. I've brought my knitting tonight in the hope it will keep me off those cigars. Don't have the lungs for them anymore!

(If Nigel is popping out though, a chocolate orange wouldn't go amiss.....)

What shape is history, anyway, is it penis shaped?

To date, but we can aim for a Georgia O’Keeffe future.

I can roll with O Keefe shaped. Maybe in a kind of shimmering fractal.

Eoin I’m going to have to stay off that thread it’s giving me the most Dreadful Rage.

I’m going to pinch a glass of Snippy’s fizz and eat 12 chocolate hobnobs. I can only assume there is a full moon or something. Fuckinell.

Hobnob vodka?

You'd definitely have to strain it through a muslin...

I recommend Sherbet Lemon vodka.

I might just skip the booze in case it's brown orange juice that tastes ever so oddly of coffee and go straight for mogadon actually.

It's a sort of half cat, half dinosaur hybrid, right? The perfect pet.

I was in a very wanky bar in Edinburgh quite recently and made the mistake of asking the moustached barman for an Archers and lemonade (it wasn't for me). He smirked at me and said "I don't even know what that is". "Don't you think you ought to know in your line of work?" I replied. He was not amused and I ended up having to get a Chambord instead because it was the only thing they had that was vaguely fruity. I bet this bar has peach schnapps, even though it is filthy and wrong, and Nigel wouldn't dare give me cheek while he was serving it.

Scrimshaw I mean you’d never know if your OJ was coffee so seems reasonable that hybrid could exist

Eoin I’m still cross about the time a man with a beard and a brown apron laughed when I asked for Pinot Grigio in a bar and then went on to mansplain the winelist to me like the utter hoofwanking spanglecunt he was. There’s definitely Archers here.

I will not be tempted into shilling for WBH.
The texture, though, Lang, the texture!

Badger, if the Leeds Spinners made a suitably ornate RFF badge I would be absolutely FORCED to pay outrageous international shipping and customs fees to obtain one. Nb: this is risky. When I lived in London, I once ordered some lingerie with a somewhat explicit item description from a US site. The bastards at the website included the complete item name on the customs form, stuck to the exterior of the parcel. The postman never looked at me without smirking again... (On the plus side, he became very careful with our post after that!)

Erishkigal, I was looking for a fist emoji to demonstrate solidarity, but perhaps the taco is more apt?

Eoin, instead of a flamethrower, if I chuck you a virtual automatic assault rifle (as is apparently my inalienable right as an American), how quickly do you think it would make the social media rounds as "Mumsnet funded and now ARMED by right wing US religious extremists!"? A Singapore Sling isn't really in season now, though, is it, unless in Singapore? I'd think it's nearly Kirsch and season in the UK.

SheDressed, how about a local apple cider (doesn't have alcohol here)?

boatyard, thank you, but I can't take credit for the RFFs. That belongs to Thigh and her lot. I'm amazed a young girl knows what a "fanny pack"/"bum bag" is these days, though I did hear they were making a comeback, for reasons unknown.

Errol, did the secretary slip him a Trojan from her handbag or slap his face? Francophones might appreciate this story: I once had a severe allergic reaction while at lunch in a nice restaurant in Paris. In the Parisian hospital, the kind young doctor asked me to list all my known allergies (en francais, bien sur). I am allergic to a certain food preservative, but instead of trying to give the name in English, I somehow came out with, "un preservatif." The poor woman blushed scarlet.

Thinking of "Les preservatives" I once eavesdropped on a conversation on the night bus back from France - a Canadian and French woman discussing their version of "two countries separated by a common language". The Canadian had married a French man, and the first time their mothers got together her mum had caused consternation by announcing that she "fair la cuisine sans preservatives."

Bugger autocucumber doesn't speak French. I do know how to conjugate "faire" honest guv.

And spell "preservatif".

[Gnashed teeth in annoyance.]

Grinitch in season? Season?? I didn't know drink had seasons, unless you were planning to distill the cherry brandy yourself from your own cherries. My sophistication obviously only goes so far.

I think to be on the safe side, I'd better source my virtual weaponry from the UK. A longbow sounds quite fun, doesn't it?

Badger hipster bar staff are the absolute worst. You can't move for them around here, and it's even worse if you get the train to Leeds. I once narrowly avoided being run over in Leeds station by a man on a unicycle. He was clearly on his way to hus shift at a craft beer pop-up in The Calls, probably called something like Mr Spanglewank's House of Twattery. It could only have been worse if he'd been on a penny farthing. I do hope Nigel is clean shaven and has nice sensible trousers on.

I was in a very wanky bar in Edinburgh quite recently and made the mistake of asking the moustached barman for an Archers and lemonade (it wasn't for me). He smirked at me and said "I don't even know what that is". "Don't you think you ought to know in your line of work?" I replied.

Burn! 🔥🔥🔥

He was clearly on his way to hus shift at a craft beer pop-up in The Calls, probably called something like Mr Spanglewank's House of Twattery. It could only have been worse if he'd been on a penny farthing.

😂🤣😂 This is reminding me of the guy with the carefully twirled handlebar moustache that used to work in a nearby craft ale twattorium.

Nigel only gets to be here if he’s properly attired. We were buying his trousers from M&S but, well.

Craft Ale Twattorium is the most excellent description! There’s one in Chorlton (natch) which serves gin and tonic in a sandwich bag with plastic goldfish floating therein. Seriously. I just looked at it, looked at the guy behind the bar and wordlessly pointed
to a pint glass. He tutted

I’m drinking whisky and have just ranted for quite some time to DH who works in the NHS about their derivable attitude towards women and now he is outraged too and I feel better. An outrage shared is definitely not halved but it is soothed somewhat might just be the whisky

Derisible

Nigel should buy his own trousers from a small independent shop in the future.

(Wakes up from hibernating the hangover away)

A night In The snug was most refreshing thanks ladies. I feel human today but not enough for anything stronger than Coke Zero. It better not be Pepsi on tap or I'll revolt!

Can we close the shutters and keep the wank bastards out forever?

Teen I do not know how we get rid of them. It’s a veritable pestilence of prats.