I hope my daughter is a lesbian.

[RhinoR]

She's 10.

She says she doesn't like boys. That one day she will get a girlfriend. She says she has a crush on a girl in her class.

This has me hoping she will indeed be gay.
From my own experiences to those I read daily about young women being abused, coerced and degraded by their partners I fear so much for my daughter going through such things.

Women aren't perfect of course, being gay won't protect her from heartbreak and maybe some abuse at the hands of her partner but I daresay I would sleep better at night.

Is that terrible of me?

The arguments against surrogacy Vs the arguments for sperm donation are being framed here around the risks to the man and woman. I am not talking about that at all. I am focusing on the rights of the child.

Most of you only seemed to be concerned with the wants of a prospective mother.

hearhoovesthinkzebras, may I ask you to consider the possibility that just repeating yourself at ever-more-frequent intervals doesn't make you right and doesn't change anyone's opinion because you seem increasingly – well, rabid is the word that springs to mind.

Velveteenfruitbowl, how about going to the Relationships thread and telling everyone there that if they're being physically or emotionally abused it's their fault for associating with the wrong sort of people? Lots more traffic there and lots more victims to blame.

think it’s more a question of the kind of person you are and the kind of people you associate with than the sex of your partner that puts you at risk.

Please tell me what kind of person I was to be sexually assaulted by my classmates,my grandfather and my maths tutor. That's without even going into actual relationships.

I just hope she's really happy, whatever her sexuality is and that you accept her for who she is.

hatdamnwoman

So other posters are ok to keep repeating themselves though? I'm not saying anyone has to agree with me. That is my opinion.

I’ve never been treated poorly by a man I know (a stupid amount of street harassment though). I think it’s more a question of the kind of person you are and the kind of people you associate with than the sex of your partner that puts you at risk.

Lucky you and blame the victims?! Wow!

Wow, this thread. So much implied homophobia, plus the ‘women do it too’ trope so beloved of MRAs and handmaidens alike. All the threads on MN where posters are saying ‘you should LTB. You don’t want your DD growing up to expect that behaviour from her male partner.’ I don’t see anybody going on those threads telling posters off for assuming the DD’s sexuality, in fact I think I’d get flamed as PC gone mad if I did that. Posters are allowed to express a wish for prematurely assumed to be straight DDs to avoid abusive men, but as soon as a poster expresses a wish that her DD avoid abusive men by being lesbian, as already indicated by the DD, the whole place goes nuts. It’s almost like it’s unacceptable for a woman not to try men first.

Pretty much everybody reasonably expects their DC will be straight, even if they have no problem whatsoever with them being gay/lesbian, because there’s a statistically high chance that they will be straight. Only an idiot, or someone with a homophobic agenda would try to claim otherwise. Yet as soon as a poster expresses a preference that her DD does actually grow up to be lesbian as she has already stated a preference, the whole place lights up with ‘you shouldn’t assume, you shouldn’t influence,’ and on FWR of all places, although I notice most of the posters aren’t regulars.

Fuck off with that shit. I wish my mother had told me she would be happy for me to be lesbian. Even if I wasn’t it would have hardly deterred me from blending in with the majority of society in being heterosexual. Honestly, you’d think there were legions of poor oppressed closeted heterosexual teens afraid to come out to their mainly heterosexual parents. Fucksake!

And I knew I was same sex attracted from the age of about 7 btw, so 10 is plenty old enough to know, and not all of us change our minds, as is the other trope beloved of homophobes.

Yeah, we know that's your opinion. You keep telling us, we keep not buying it. If that's all you have to say – any woman who requires a sperm donor shouldn't be permitted to have children unless they are prepared to involve the father in the child's life – then we've heard it and we've noted a) your desire to discriminate against lesbians, single women and those couples where the male is infertile and b) the fact that you're not women-centred and therefore not a feminist.

Now off to the Telegraph comments section with you!

thatdamnwoman
If men decided to stop donating sperm would you say they were discriminating against you?

I find it utterly bizarre that you are arguing that you a)have the right to someone else's genetic material and b)that you have a right to a child.

Would any poster here that it's ok for 1 parent to block access to the other parent in non abusive relationships?

Would that be in the child's best interests?

What.
The.
Fuck?

How has a thread about a woman being positive about about her child's budding homosexual orientation turned into a discussion about men's fucking sperm? God, I swear every day is a school day in the university of Shit Humanity.

That’s not what’s happening though is it. One parent is’t blocking access to the other, because often the other intended parent will be present and on the BC, and because presumably men who donate sperm don’t actually want access to any child subsequently created from that sperm.

Tell you what though, why don’t you just not donate sperm, or just not conceive a baby using donated sperm. Easy.

And yes Floral, we always end up back at men and their ejaculate, somehow.

Oh, it's a man, is it?

Well, I can think of only one way we can ensure he doesn't go donating his genetic material to any undeserving woman. I'll just go and get my shears.

Whatisthisfuckery

I am, and always have been, speaking from the child's perspective, not the parents.

And yeah, yeah. Obviously I must be a man because I don't agree with you, right? Pathetic.

Oh, it's a man, is it?

Nope, I'm a woman, just a woman who happens to want to centre children rather than deciding that what I want is more important than their rights.

Deciding to be positive about lesbian orientation is a very good thing for kids. HTH.

Yes Hearhoovesthinkzebras, I’m sure you are, but as you’ve registered your objections you can probably leave it now. Refer to my last but one post.

Deciding to be positive about lesbian orientation is a very good thing for kids. HTH.

Being positive about sexual orientation is a good thing.

Specifically hoping for your child to be one particular orientation before they've told you what they are is weird.

If you hope your dd is a lesbian and then they're not - what then? Have they let you down? Disappointed you?

How is it a huge derail to have a different opinion?!
This is what is so ridiculous on this board.
No other opinion allowed without cries of "go away" or "derail!"
Are people that unable to hear views different to their own?!
It's expected to be echo chamber like.

Deciding to be positive about lesbian orientation is a very good thing for kids. HTH.

It's not even a decision, it come naturally! I heart lesbians, they've always done a lot of the heavy moving in feminism. They do not always return the favor, and that's OK, because they've been subject to a long history of compulsory heterosexuality, and they don't need a straight woman's approval.

But for the record, being a same-sex attracted girl or woman is 100% valid, and I am SO happy that my daughter is a lesbian. I got even more thrilled as this thread went on.

My sister is a lesbian and has been in two abusive relationships.

I'm straight and have only had healthy relationships.

Don't you think we should just wish for happiness for our children, whoever they choose to be and to be with? As parents our responsibility to their future relationships lies in modelling healthy behaviour in our own, so they have the tools to find a decent partner. The sex of that partner is none of your business OP however much you currently seem to think it is. Your anxiety is misplaced.

Thinking about it, I and lots of my lesbian friends have had quite a few controlling/abusive lesbian relationships between us. Some really horrific ones too.

There are at least as many unhinged lesbians as there are unhinged heterosexuals, sorry.

Ffs, the OP didn't say 'am I wrong to force my daughter to be a lesbian'!!

She said, 'it looks as if she could be, am I wrong to be happy?'

What kind of person says 'yeah, you are wrong to be happy your dd might be a lesbian' ?