"Micro" acts of every day sexism...

[GunpowderGelatine]

...you know the kind of things that, if you didn't look for it you wouldn't even notice?

For example, I'm at hospital today for an outpatient appointment. I noticed that when the staff (Male and female) would call out for patients for their appointment, they would use women's full names (e.g. "Emily Dixon?") and for men they'd use their salutation ("Mr Roberts?"). Every. Single. Time.

I feel like if we look out for things like these we'd notice a lot more? Is it just me going mad or do other people have things like this happen?

Ditto, a Barclays bank employee once told me that now that DH and I were married, even though I hadn't changed my name I nonetheless HAD to change to Mrs as that ws the rule. I told her she was ridiculous. (have never liked barclays. And we still bank with them

I have had exactly the same with TSB earlier this year. They told me that I "legally" had to be Mrs HisSurname, otherwise I was committing fraud. I really really need to be bothered to move to a different bank.

naked it helps if you are size 6/7. I just googled the Salomon Speedcross shoes I use. They weren't listed as male or female on the two sited I looked at, but the smallest size I could see was 6.
Maybe they are men's shoes, but the site I bought them from doesn't list them as that, and they fit me fine.

In the late 90s I worked in Financial services for a very large company.
The big boss was an absolute sexist pig, which seemed down, although my (Male) manager was great.
There were 4 female financial Advisors and the rest were men, guess who used to get asked to cover reception when the admin staff were off?
In fact I ended up volunteering because what none of the geniuses worked out was that if a new enquiry came in it had to be allocated to a Financial Advisor and whoever answered the phone could choose who to put the call through to - guess which Advisor I allocated all new customers to? Totally smashed my targets and then a couple of the men caught on and demanded to be allowed to answer the phones sometimes too. My manager told them to get lost!

Seeped down, not seemed

Brefugee Thu 14-Nov-19 13:11:32

i rewrote a departmental handbook for my company last year and changed all the "he" to "She" (and other relevant female pronouns)

Called into meeting to discuss. Apart from the fact that 70% of the staff are women, I said "but it includes men too, don't feel put out by that"

Was "ordered" to change them all to "he" - and literally "it means everyone, you don't have to feel put out."

So i refused and password protected the file. None of the men wanted to make the new handbook so finally it was printed like that. And every man who got a copy received an apology that they were being excluded...

@Brefugee - may we all follow in your footsteps

Referring to grown women as 'girls'.

@ToeNailSoup I’ve found that answering back and working ‘you boys’ (or all you little lads or you wee chaps or similar) is fairly effective at shitting down the use of girls.
The one occasion I got pulled up on it, did the wide eyed look and said that I was merely modelling his behaviour; that after he had said girls, as we were all similar ages and most definitely grown ups, he obviously wasn’t calling us girls because that would be a fairly sexist/ageist/misogynistic thing to do, so I assumed he was in a chipper youthful mood so I thought I had best reply in kind... not a lot he could say to that

Referring to grown women as 'girls’

Women on here do that too sometimes. I hate it.

I prepare correspondence for my employer, and any time it's not addressed to a particular individual he writes "Dear Sirs," which I change to "To whom it may concern,". I never mention it, and neither does he. He signs them without comment, and repeat.

@EmpressLesbianInChair My mom does it loads. She's started righting herself now but says it like "I was talking to a girl in Sainsbury's, well, no, a woman I suppose....." as if she has to weigh-up whether or not the adult human female in front of her is a woman or a girl. Not sure what her criteria are!

@wibdib Good for you. I've gotten a lot more bolshy about this and now just say 'Errm, do you mean women?'

Another restaurant one - when you go to a carvery where the chef is serving the meat and gives more to the men. Last time I went first, then my DH, and he'd got twice as much meat. I got up and went back to ask for more, and when we got the bill they had added 'extra portion'. I swiftly had that removed along with the 'service charge'.

From Channel 5 listing this eve 2200. "Good Girls Guide To Kinky Sex" info states "These girls will try almost anything from sexy food play to ice cubes, hot lubes and vibrators."

...and the disgusting chumps missed out the apostrophe altogether.

Closing a 50m deal. Now, I'm in a line of work where we deal with massive amounts of money as "business as usual", but 50m is still kind of a big deal.

Email goes out to the entirety of a massive, multi-national corporation from our CEO -1:

Congratulations to IfYouSaySo [me, literally the person who's been owning and driving the entire affair from when the RFI was published] , DudeBroColleague [has contributed fuck all, happens to be my own level of seniority as well as the proud owner of one presumably functioning - he has kids - penis] and team! [a.k.a. a multitude of people less senior than myself or DudeBroColleague whose immense dedication has allowed us to pull this one off] Great job!!!

For comparison: Email sent when a male colleague closed the deal: Congratulations SuperNiceMaleColleagueWhoseFaultThisSexistCrapReallyIsnt. Great work!!!

Students call male teachers "sir" whilst females techers are called "miss". Surely it should be "madam" to be equal to sir? Or male teachers should be called "Mr".

Whilst typing this I have noticed that my phone automatically capitalizes Male but not female. Weird!

Students call male teachers "sir" whilst females techers are called "miss". Surely it should be "madam" to be equal to sir? Or male teachers should be called "Mr".

Agreed in principle - though, in practice, I bloody hate "madam". It has connotations of "matronly", "bossy" and "unpleasant" to me.

... which, of course, is an issue in its own right!

Whilst typing this I have noticed that my phone automatically capitalizes Male but not female. Weird!

Mine too, although it seems to be doing it less now - maybe it’s noticed that I always change it back. That got discussed on another thread recently. Apparently male with a capital M is a place. Mark is a name though & I don’t see my phone automatically capitalising that...

Yes that's a good point, I don't really like being called Madam either!

In my local Caffè Nero the other day I got called ‘la signora’ which I quite liked.

Yes ‘madam’ has a lot of negativity like when little girls are told they’re being a ‘right little madam’... there’s not really a male equivalent to this is there?

I used to work in a school where female teachers were called Ma'am, which seems to have different connotations to madam, even though it's essentially the same thing.

I've noticed that when election mail comes through it's often addressed to DH and DS, even though I am listed above DS on the firm I filled out for the electoral roll.
I file it straight in the bin.

@deydododatdodontdeydo thank you! Just looked at those! Recommended?! I lean towards a barefoot style.

What's the difference between men's and women's sizes anyway? Isn't a 6 a 6?

@TheShoesa I've been to the Enterprise Centre at Derby Uni and the ladies loos are further down past the coffee shop on the ground floor

The bank ones are relatable. At my work we’ve received pronoun and title training (Mx, Pr etc) but a good proportion of the staff still automatically correct Ms to Mrs when they see the customer has a husband. Drives me mad. I correct it when I see it.