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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

"Micro" acts of every day sexism...

389 replies

GunpowderGelatine · 13/11/2019 11:43

...you know the kind of things that, if you didn't look for it you wouldn't even notice?

For example, I'm at hospital today for an outpatient appointment. I noticed that when the staff (Male and female) would call out for patients for their appointment, they would use women's full names (e.g. "Emily Dixon?") and for men they'd use their salutation ("Mr Roberts?"). Every. Single. Time.

I feel like if we look out for things like these we'd notice a lot more? Is it just me going mad or do other people have things like this happen?

OP posts:
GunpowderGelatine · 13/11/2019 11:43

And not knowing if someone is a Miss, Mrs or Ms is no excuse - it's on the patient record.

OP posts:
Aderyn19 · 13/11/2019 11:47

I'm shamelessly place marking because in all honesty I never notice any micro acts of sexism. But then again I am notoriously unobservant, so I'm curious.

sillysmiles · 13/11/2019 11:50

I'm also place marking as I think this is fascinating topic and an interesting observation. I feel like after reading Invisible Women that it is everywhere!

BertrandRussell · 13/11/2019 11:51

Too many to mention. Depressingly many women, and many mumsnetters will do the “Be thankful that’s all you’ve got to worry about” routine.
As somebody once said “You don’t notice all the little drips until you’ve got a sodding great brimming bucketful”

Aderyn19 · 13/11/2019 11:55

Looking back, I think there were jobs I didn't get because, as a young woman, I was a 'risk' because I might want maternity leave at some point. I remember losing out to men who were as good as me but not better. But I don't think that counts as micro sexism.

Mercedes519 · 13/11/2019 11:57

Aderyn19 that's full on sexism!

I noticed this at the weekend when we went to the car showroom. They started talking to DH and only talked to me once DH had pointed out that it was MY car we were looking for.

sashh · 13/11/2019 12:10

A 2018 GCSE maths paper

"A manager pays a bonus to his three managers and seven sales men..."

Check you driving licence, women hav a title, men don't.

deydododatdodontdeydo · 13/11/2019 12:19

Check you driving licence, women hav a title, men don't.

Isn't it the other way round?

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 13/11/2019 12:19

This is a micro, but so bloody irritating. There was a TV clip my DD and I saw last night, (some sort of rescue at sea program I think) with events being recounted by a male witness. He described how he’d watched as a ‘lady kayaker’ was winched to safety by the rescue team. My DD said ‘Yeah, it was the only way she could escape the everyday sexism of being described as a lady kayaker instead of, you know, a kayaker!’
She’s 14, but she’s spotting it already. Not sure if that’s good or bad tbh.

Kit19 · 13/11/2019 12:20

I remember trying to book a hotel for my friend & I, were both female & she’s a doctor. The on line form wouldn’t allow me to put her title as doctor. I tried with a male name and it worked :/

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 13/11/2019 12:21

(She’s very familiar with the title‘every day sexism’ cos I mutter it often, so I guess she’s a bit more attuned to it now)

TreestumpsAndTrampolines · 13/11/2019 12:22

My UK driving license had a title, my European one doesn't.

DP's UK driving license doesn't.

I would assume it's because women have the choice of 3, and men only have one, so they include it, so it's not the driving license that's sexist per se, but the whole idea that women have a title to reflect their marital status.

Lemongrasssugar · 13/11/2019 12:22

I bought a kettlebell from argos for myself and the guy behind the counter insisted on giving it to my husband.

EmpressLesbianInChair · 13/11/2019 12:22

Unnecessary touches, and then looks of amused confusion when you express annoyance.

I swear the next time a man puts his hands on my waist from behind to move me, my booted foot is going to shoot straight back.

MadamBatty · 13/11/2019 12:35

Empress any man who does that gets me stepping back on his foot hard & a I didn’t see you there smile

EmpressLesbianInChair · 13/11/2019 12:35
Grin
elQuintoConyo · 13/11/2019 12:37

Giving me the salad and my husband the steak - waitress or waiter, doesn't matter. Every. Single. Time.

VictoriaSpongeBob · 13/11/2019 12:38

At a previous job i was always asked to make guests drinks, clear food from meetings I wasn't in and and on one occasion Hoover the reception before a client arrived. It wasn't my job I work in HR and just happened to be the only woman who worked there.

BoogieFeet · 13/11/2019 12:44

Ah yes, my veggie husband and I often have to swap the plates found as he is given the manly steak/burger and me the veggie option :)

Booked a holiday online recently and paid with my credit card, specified myself as lead passenger and the contact for the holiday. Still listed below my husband when I login to view holiday details.

Fishcakey · 13/11/2019 12:46

Is it awful that I never notice these things and that even pointed out, I can't get aggrieved about it!

NonnyMouse1337 · 13/11/2019 12:47

Wtf... That's proper sexism VictoriaSpongeBob Shock

Fishcakey · 13/11/2019 12:47

Actually I do notice one thing but it does that make me laugh - bar people always give my Guinness to my husband and his girly Bud Light to me. Every single time!

RetreatingWeasels · 13/11/2019 12:49

Many years ago DH went to buy a new vacuum cleaner and the salesman kept trying to talk to me. I had only gone along for the ride and was less than interested in the cleaner.

Sad that it's still going on.

WatchingTheMoon · 13/11/2019 12:50

I WISH I didn't notice but here I am every day getting wound up by the millions of things I see happening around me.

My latest one is people saying that if I have a baby girl (I'm pregnant), it will be great cos we can have girly days out and get our nails done.

If I can muster the energy to even cut my nails, I consider it top quality grooming these days but no, as I am a woman, I must be longing for a daughter so we can go and make ourselves look attractive to men.

mumofbun · 13/11/2019 12:56

I once booked a holiday on line and put Dr as my title. When the confirmation email came through it had changed it to Mr. I had to enquire about it as i was worried it would mean i couldn't get on the plane or something and they changed it but was pretty annoyed. In another case i was making a booking over the phone and the woman asked me if it was mrs or miss...

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