"Micro" acts of every day sexism...

[GunpowderGelatine]

...you know the kind of things that, if you didn't look for it you wouldn't even notice?

For example, I'm at hospital today for an outpatient appointment. I noticed that when the staff (Male and female) would call out for patients for their appointment, they would use women's full names (e.g. "Emily Dixon?") and for men they'd use their salutation ("Mr Roberts?"). Every. Single. Time.

I feel like if we look out for things like these we'd notice a lot more? Is it just me going mad or do other people have things like this happen?

@sillysmiles
Dear Sirs.." isnt sexist.. its just a generic term....since when has dear sirs meant anything other than men???

Since about god knows how many years ago when people have been using it collectively to just address a group of people in formal business emails.
Like i said it has roots in obviously being addressed to men, however in pretty much every office i have worked in, which over the last 10-15 years due to temping & various jobs is many, we use it to mean men & women.
Personally i think of all the acts of sexism that we need to tackle, this would be bottom of the pile. But that is just my opinion.

I was taught to write "Dear Sir or Madam" if you didn't know the names or sex. "dear sirs/madams" would do wouldn't it? Sirs does not include women, it just doesn't.

@hopelesssuitcase

That is for formal letter writing.
In a fast paced office environment where we could easy send 50+ emails a day EVERYTHING is abbreviated.
So yes it does include women. Dont tell me that it doesnt when i have years of experience in using it myself to include women.

I know it seems like nothing to just add the extra word on but seriously the pace of emails going back and forth in this places can be off the chain.
Half the managers only sign off emails with "best" or their initial.
Its like when you have a company like Boodle & Dunthorne people may just say "Boodles". I dont find abbreviations offensive.

*My boss always used to ask me to text him and let him know I got home ok when I’d been on a client site.

I pointed out he never asks the men on the team to do this and it’s sexist and infantilising and refused.*

I confess to being a bit ambivalent about that one, and it does (appear to) be well intended. I used to be more concerned about the young women I worked with getting home safely after our horrendously boozy company parties than the young men, in general

@Notabadger - it's even worse than you think- most lions are female!

People saying Mr And Mrs, always Mr first

I'd be touched if my boss cared enough about my welfare that he wanted a text to say I was home safely. There are more important things to kick off about imo.

Nope, not a surrendered wife, Findumdum1. I left my abusive husband some years ago and haven't lived with anyone else except my DC since then.

If 'Dear Sirs' is short for 'Dear sir/madam' and therefore covers both men and women then it would be ok to use 'Dear Madams' and assume it covers men too right?

@Wavescrashingonthebeach I have never come across or seen Dear Sirs used as unisex. Always dear sir/madam.

I work on the ambulance in a retirement town as a paramedic - I experience sexism daily from patients. Normally they are elderly so I do let it slip by (generation thing).

I get "oh you have 2 pretty young lady nurses coming for you bob!" Normally from the wife with them.

"Oh you will need to call some burley men to carry him down the stairs, he's very heavy" hold my pint

"So, do you drive as well?" Yes. Yes I do.

"George the ambulance men are here, oh...." que confused looks

They do turn out to be lovely people after they get over the initial shock - so I'm yet to be offended by it.

And my all time favourite after telling the patient they should go to hospital/stay at home self care/or book an appointment with the GP. Turns to less qualified male colleague "and what do you think?" To which the male colleague answer "she's the paramedic not me so do as she says"

That is for formal letter writing.
In a fast paced office environment where we could easy send 50+ emails a day EVERYTHING is abbreviated.
So yes it does include women. Dont tell me that it doesnt when i have years of experience in using it myself to include women.

You’re wrong though, it literally doesn’t include women, it’s dated and I consider it unprofessional these days. I would ignore anything addressed in that way.
No office is so fast-paced that you can’t type one five letter word.

My own examples: being called “girls” in a professional environment (I corrected one man in front of a class full of students and he insisted I was a girl, I told him in no uncertain terms that I was not, he got huffy).

I earn double what my husband does yet our mortgage company sends letters addressed to him and only he was given a vote in their AGM recently, yes I complained.

Of course Sir doesn't mean Sir or Madam. I have worked in lots of offices, and we would always use Sir or Madam, not just Sir. At my current employer we sometimes get letters addressed to just 'Sir' - this doesn't go down well with the mostly female team.

Dear sir means you are applying a male default . It is the Male form of the word even if you don't realise, that's because male default is so normal it takes effort to see it.

That Male default is responsible for the deaths of women. Try the book invisible women as a starting point

Oh and 50 emails a day is not necessarily a busy office. Using sir just looks lazy and unprofessional

I teach formal letter writing - Dear Sirs hasn't been standard for ooh, 50 years??

Of course it's sexist!

50 emails a day is not very many at all, and if you're really that short of time, why not just write Hi ( no name necessary) - 2 letters, gender neutral, fine on an email.

Dear Sirs is likely to be losing your company business so is very poor practice if in the private sector; if in the public sector would breach equality/diversity rules.

I don't think I've ever received an email addressed to "Dear Sirs".
The only place I ever see that is in letters to papers like the Times, which usually marks the sender out as a retired Colonel...

DH and I got married purely because we'd bought a house and decided it made more sense financially and with regard to wills etc. (had co-habited happily for years before that).

At the register office the registrar smilingly directed me to sign the register with my own name 'for the last time'. I did have to sign of course, while gritting my teeth, and have continued to use my own name ever since. Wouldn't dream of using DH's. Not that the message has got through to certain family members (MY family, at that) who still insist on sending greetings cards to what I always automatically assume is DH's late mother

not entirely the point, but I always reverse to 'Dear Madam/Sir' in generic emails/letters.

If ‘Dear Sirs’ applies to both men and women, it would be interesting to see how ‘Dear Madams’ goes down. After all, it’s gender neutral.

My DH always does that too stripeypillowcase- partly as a small act of rebellion/redressing the balance and partly a more old-fashioned ‘ladies first’ approach. I never write the Sir/Madam sort of email so don’t get the opportunity myself!

50 emails a day is not very many at all, and if you're really that short of time, why not just write Hi ( no name necessary) - 2 letters, gender neutral, fine on an email.

Tbf we did usually just use Hi. Im just saying i personally never found Dear Sirs offensive and IME it has been used by myself & others in a unisex manner but im happy to agree to disagree. This was quite a corporate company with a lot of females in senior management so it wasnt some stuffy old boys firm.

When men want to get passed they gently touch a woman's lower back to guide them I guess, never do that with other men.

Past*

Sorry ALivingDeadGirl I didn’t realise you’d made that point before me.