"Micro" acts of every day sexism...

[GunpowderGelatine]

...you know the kind of things that, if you didn't look for it you wouldn't even notice?

For example, I'm at hospital today for an outpatient appointment. I noticed that when the staff (Male and female) would call out for patients for their appointment, they would use women's full names (e.g. "Emily Dixon?") and for men they'd use their salutation ("Mr Roberts?"). Every. Single. Time.

I feel like if we look out for things like these we'd notice a lot more? Is it just me going mad or do other people have things like this happen?

Empress, in a crowded shop a man put one hand on the back of my waist to move me - I automatically stiffened my whole body away from his hand in a show of offence AND HE APOLOGISED!

But stepping back onto his foot sounds like a good plan, too.

I was due a tax rebate earlier this year, they sent me a cheque but it was made out to Mrs instead of Miss, despite me putting Miss on the form. I tried paying it in to my bank but it was refused, purely due to the incorrect title. I phoned HMRC to ask if they could re-issue the cheque with my correct title, they told me it would take eight weeks so annoying and unnecessary.

This week I've been looking for a new hiking rucksack. One national retailer has 89 rucksacks on their website. If you filter it to show women's rucksacks only that number then goes down to 3.
Another retailer has 1568 rucksacks, but only 85 of these are for women. I don't want a rucksack cut for a man/ unisex.

TheShoesa I went to Derby Uni and I know the loos you mean. Surely they can't do that? (Legally I don't think they can)

Women should start using the men’s loos at Derby Uni - as we are not provided with any of our own. Or pee in the pot plants??!!

You mention you asked your doctor/dentist/accountant/manager something, and the person you are telling will ask " What did he say?".

Stand up meetings at work. The taller team members talk directly over the heads of the rest of us. Not necessarily sexist.

Talk of recruiting a new technical architect or software developer, and what he will be responsible for.

Attended an event recently and about the third of the speakers were female. The men speakers were generally tall and in business casual, some quite scruffy
The women speakers were smartly dressed and well groomed.
Not sure if that is sexist but it was noticeable.

Being called " love" or " darling" in a shop. Please don't. You don't know me.

"Dear Sirs.." isnt sexist.. its just a generic term with obvious roots in a more sexist past, but nowadays its to be presumed the recipients could be any gender

Oh come off it. 'Dear Sirs" wasn't sexist when all the senior management of all organisations were male. It is now. It needs to change, in the same way as we have changed many other naming conventions, such as calling Mark Jones' wife Mrs Mark Jones, instead of Mrs Sarah Jones (which would previously have meant she was divorced).

Funny how it is almost always women who are expected not to mind being excluded by language. So "Dear Sirs" is still widely used but senior male nurses are called charge nurses, not Sister.

Newspaper articles about a woman usually add her age. They generally don't for a man.

The sports sections of newspaper rarely have anything on women's sport. If it is something like beach volleyball it will be in the main section.

I'm a manager in financial services, when customers want a manager they almost always presume I will be a man and use make pronouns in their request

OhDear2200
DCIRozHuntley

I will email them, it really pisses me off that it's always 'budge up you women'

I don't think they are legally allowed to either, although there were separate ladies and gents toilets upstairs.

DD and DS both late teenagers both working in the same restaurant.

DS gets asked where he is going after the summer or which university he attends.

DD is assumed to be in a permanent job clearing plates and wiping tables.

Re Derby Uni - women should use the men's loos and maybe leave their used sanitary protection lying around? Gross I know but it might actually prompt people to realise how absurd it is also this gender neutral bollocks

Not a sexism one but a racism one I overheard the other day and made me want to scream. Two middle aged men in discussion, one white, one black. White one is some kind of manager for our local library/community centre (I've' seen him before). Based on conversation, the black man works there. Black man trying to make a point. White man says, while putting his finger to his lips, "shhhh, I'm talking."

Although not sure that's micro racism or pure full on racism!

I'm much braver behind a keyboard than in real life, so I probably wouldn't have dared go into the gents alone (even if I had been wearing trousers!!) although will send a terse email.

One example I had was a potential client was OUTRAGED when I quoted him a fee he thought was too high. Fair enough. Except his arguments were loud, offensive and rude and I don't for one second believe he would have spoken to a male consultant with 20 years experience in that tone. He was actually ANGRY at me for daring to suggest a fee (the irony is that I'd offered him a reduced fee because of how he'd been introduced as a favour. hahahaha. If I ever see him again I might have to accidentally drop a few old invoices to other clients).

BlingLoving that’s knobism. I feckin bite his finger if he did that to me

It’s interesting - what would happen if a woman did use the gents. Get arrested? Thrown out? Complaints? But it’s ok for a person of indeterminate gender to use the ladies.

I've had problems in various jobs with men expecting me to make the tea. Like it's still 1952. I've found I've needed to be very blunt and have strong boundaries otherwise they try to turn you into the general tea lady/cleaner despite not being employed to do this kind of work.

Being warned that a certain food was very spicy in a restaurant and asked if I was sure I wanted that, but 16 year very tall ds had already ordered it for himself and received no such warning.

"Dear Sirs.." isnt sexist.. its just a generic term.... since when has dear sirs meant anything other than men???

Last week dh and I went for a meeting at the bank- all set up by me, my name on the appointment.
The employee comes out of the booth to say won't be long mr graffiti. Then when it's our turn says to dh, in you come.
Dh sat next to me, knowing how pissed off I would be!
Bank employee did apologise though.

We have the drink mix ups too, DH has lemonade and I drink Cola. We first noticed about 5 years ago and watch for it every time we go out for a meal, 90% of the time the server will give the Cola to DH and the lemonade to me, even if they took the order in the first place.

Newspaper articles about a woman usually add her age. They generally don't for a man

They are also much more likely to define a woman by her relationship to other people, than by her job. So it's usually "mum of two, Katie" for a woman vs "Dave, a milkman" for a man.

Yes, the Obituaries in newspapers are famous for this. Notable women with have loads about their families, their work-life balance or even their looks .

Men's obits are almost always focused on their achievements with a line or 2 at the end to describe family, if that.

The classic ‘does your husband do much to help you round the house?’ ‘Does he babysit/help with the children?’ 🙄

I presented to A&E with the same symptoms as a man, who arrived a few minutes after me. Mine was about a concern about a complication following major surgery. Idk why he had these same symptoms. Guess who was seen first? To add insult to inundated after I emerged from being seen the first time, he was called to be seen a second time. Despite A&E finding nothing, I was back in surgery 2 weeks later. 🙄