I also can't believe some of the stuff on this thread.
I believe her. I believer her for 3 reasons: one it happens. To all us - particularly in our 20s/30s (but also to me this year!) - a man in power abuses that power, oversteps our boundaries and innapropriately touches, speaks to or worse a less powerful woman. In my 30s my boss did it to me. I didn't say anything. I still haven't said anything.
Secondly why would she lie? Most women don't lie anyway, but in cases like this this it's hard (so hard) to come out and say something like this - the woman is endlessly scrutinised, we get sacked, our reputation is in tatters. And it's easier to stay quiet. And there's usually no advantage at all for the woman of saying anything.
And thirdly - Boris?! A known cheat, liar, and adulterer.
I believe her. I would always believe a woman if she told me she had been attacked or assaulted by a man. While liars exist, they are rare.
I have been accused of lying. Which is ridiculous- because i know how hard it is to say something. I know how damaging it is to relive your experiences, to tell other people. I know how your story is questioned. I know how your actions ("why didn't you stop him" "why didn't you leave" are questioned.) For me, telling was so hard. I had to relive the worse abuse. Over and over. I had to go to the police - which is one of the most difficult things I've done. I sobbed through the interviews. I had social services involved. I had my own actions questioned. I had to deal with my own shame. It would have been easier to stay quiet. I didn't gain anything from telling. Nothing at all. but I needed to acknowledge the abuse. I needed him not to get away with it. I needed it for closure. I did it because it was the right thing to do.
Other women have accused me of lying. They have decided that my history, my truth is wrong. Even though they weren't there. They choose not to believe me, which is their problem not mine. It upsets me when my horrible abuse is denied. Or i'm told I deserved it. Or my actions contributed. Or even that i'm bitter and jealous. It upsets me when my history is rewritten to suit others. By all means do that to your own history but leave mine alone. I haven't ever knowingly lied (about much actually) but certainly about the abuse and awful things I suffered, I was told or that I witnessed first hand. Truth and honesty is important. Integrity and authenticity. And also, why lie? I had nothing to gain from lying. And actually it was so hard to come out and say something. Because I had to relive it over and over again.
All I actually did was not tell everything that happened to me and others during that time. Because it was too horrible. Too sordid. And too tough to recount. Some of it, I can't even bring myself to tell my counsellor. And wrapped up in that is the shame I feel for my part in allowing it. And that shame will be continued while women continue to question other women. And that's partly why I didn't say anything about an assault that happened to me this year. Because it's not worth it.
like Boris, mine was also a suave, persuasive, serial cheat and liar (he couldn't even tell the truth about his age) who had philandered and Fucked his way through lives. But because of the patriarchal society that we live in, and which some women contribute to the continuation of, some people choose to believe him . Even people who weren't there. Luckily for me, the police, my family, my friends believe me. and for me that's enough.