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Original poster

Inside the secret world of incels

95 replies

BlooperReel · 28/08/2019 15:13

Watching on catch up, has anyone else seen this?

It's a very disturbing insight into the incel 'communities', the deep rooted hatred of females is palpable, and it is all sexually motivated, all because women either have rejected them sexually or have no interest in them.

They have mothers, sisters for some etc, what has gone so wrong?

OP posts:
SuperFurryDoggy · 29/08/2019 10:09

Whenever I read about incels I always think of a boy I knew at school back in the late 90s.

This boy had a massive and long-running crush on my best friend. We were around 15-16 at the time. My best friend was a bit of a bitch to be honest, but she was beautiful and popular. She was nothing but openly horrid to this poor boy. I could never understand why he liked her so much. One day he and I had a massive heart to heart. He said it was so unfair that she couldn’t see past his looks and his awkwardness and lack of popularity. Why was she so superficial? If only she’d take the time to see the real him. I pointed our that, as she had literally never said a kind word to her, his attraction to her was purely superficial too. He just didn’t get it. Funny thing was, I thought he was kind of cute and told him that. I told him I would be happy to have him as my boyfriend. I was pretty blunt. He only had eyes for my friend though.

A couple of years later we were on an overnight 6th form field trip and got taking again. The short of it was that back in high school he was holding out to lose his virginity to someone hot, but now he was 18 he was prepared to lower his standards and sleep with me! Not phrased that way, but still!

Reader, I declined his offer the words fuck off may have been used

Never in my life have I met someone with such a lack of self awareness.

Richard - I don’t mean to imply that all incels are like this, but do you think too-high standards or a lack of self awareness could be a issue with some of the incels you know?

I do think as a society we should be doing more to help these men. For everyone’s sake.

MonsteraCheeseplant · 29/08/2019 10:12

I watched the documentary. It was shocking and scary. It interests me how their anger turned outwards. Womens anger tends to turn inwards. Socialisation I guess.

None of the guys in the documentary appeared or mentioned having learning difficulties. One did come across as on the ASD spectrum.

Richard2478 · 29/08/2019 10:16

I have no standards when it comes to women. My standards are not that high.

Richard2478 · 29/08/2019 10:16

I go to my disabled centre a few days week which is been cut this year.

SuperFurryDoggy · 29/08/2019 10:16

I just wanted to clarify that “we should be doing more to help these men” means “we” as a society not “we” as women.

Social skills and self awareness are so important to wellbeing.

JanMeyer · 29/08/2019 10:21

Some have autism as well, most have no social skills. That leads to isolation.

Autistic women have the same social difficulties and might struggle with dating or finding a relationship, yet we don't behave in the same way as incels and blame men for all our problems, why do you think that is?
Seriously, shame on you for trying to use your disability as an excuse for your poor attitudes towards women.

Original poster
BlooperReel · 29/08/2019 10:22

@Richard2478 you say you get along with most women easily, so why do you class yourself as an incel and say you do not like groups of women?

OP posts:
Richard2478 · 29/08/2019 10:23

I said I like women on a one basis. Do you like all black people?

Richard2478 · 29/08/2019 10:24

Or do you like all men?

Original poster
BlooperReel · 29/08/2019 10:26

I said I like women on a one basis. Do you like all black people?
Or do you like all men?

The difference between us seems to be I hold nothing against groups of black people, or groups of men, nor dislike them. You have stated you don't like groups of women, I merely asked why that might be?

OP posts:
ArnoldWhatshisknickers · 29/08/2019 10:28

Of course I don't like all black people, all men, all any other group.

More to the point I don't condemn entire groups because a number of them don't want to have sex with me.

Sexual intercourse is not a fundamental right. If you die a virgin your rights have not been breached at all and absolutely no one has treated you badly because they don't have sex with you.

SuperFurryDoggy · 29/08/2019 10:31

Richard, do you feel angry towards women? Is that part of being an incel? Or can you simply be “involuntarily celibate” without any animosity towards women?

Whatisthisfuckery · 29/08/2019 10:31

Ah but Richard, if you’d have written ‘I don’t like women’ about black people you would rightly be called racist. ‘I like black people one on one, I just don’t like them as a group’ would also be racist.

Oncewasblueandyellowtwo · 29/08/2019 10:32

Hi Richard2478
I was active on reddit leading up to the Incel community being banned. (it was banned because an incek was looking for advice on how to date rape a woman.)
What I got from reading a lot on that sub was that there l was a lot of lonely men and and angry men, instead of a support group it turned into a sub of hate for women, for their mothers and sisters. Very scary stuff and I can imagine if a boy or man was immersed in that retroic every day how it would affect someone badly.
Were you in this community and do you think these incel community's can make things worse?

Beerincomechampagnetastes · 29/08/2019 10:33

sawdust

Why have you labelled Arnold abusive?

Do NOT come on the feminist board and attempt to control women’s points of view or how they express them.

Original poster
BlooperReel · 29/08/2019 10:34

Or can you simply be “involuntarily celibate” without any animosity towards women?

There was one man on the documentary I think seemed to fit this profile, he stated he steered clear of the misogynistic groups of incels online. He just seemed a bit socially awkward and lonely, he clearly tried to make friend and meet people, but came across a little 'odd' so I can imagine it's hard to connect with people.

OP posts:
Richard2478 · 29/08/2019 10:38

Women can hate men and no one says a thing.

ArnoldWhatshisknickers · 29/08/2019 10:42

Women can hate men and no one says a thing.

Oh please, women get labelled man hating feminazis for expressing the mildest distaste at some aspects of male behaviour.

Qcng · 29/08/2019 10:43

The whole concept of being "involuntarily celibate" is fucked.
No one owes you sex. If no one is having sex with you, no one is having sex with you. No need for a personal pity party. Get over yourself.

You simply don't hear of women saying and going on about how "involuntarily no one will have sex with me"...

Richard2478 · 29/08/2019 10:43

I'm not a part of any incel groups online.

Whatisthisfuckery · 29/08/2019 10:43

Haha, Richard if you believe that then you’re deluded mate.

Qcng · 29/08/2019 10:44

I would not like to see this documentary because incels disturb me too much. It's too close to rape culture imo.

Someonetookmyusername · 29/08/2019 10:51

Richard, why were you going to be in the documentary? Why didn't you end up in it?

Qcng · 29/08/2019 10:52

Women can hate men and no one says a thing
Are you fucking kidding?

Women only need to ask for their own spaces away from men to be labelled "man hating TERFS" and issued with rape/death threats! The whole point of being a woman is to be deferent to men. Women are not allowed to question men or their motives. This is built into every part of our lives. It's all some men talk about, including incels!

And don't forget the "man-hating lesbians" or cat-woman stereotypes who's biggest failing is that they basically aren't interested in dick. It's talked about, a lot.

SuperFurryDoggy · 29/08/2019 10:55

I feel sorry for men like that BlooperReel

Someone upthread linked this to men not “performing masculinity” well enough. I remember reading about incels some time ago and thinking that gender roles are part of the problem and that in that way feminism might actually help these men.