There is no such thing as an incel. There is an entire class of women and girls trapped in sexual slavery in every country in the world, in order that no man with as little as a 5iver in his pocket need ever forego a sexual climax at the expense of a female human. Masturbation facilitation for men is also available free for anyone with an Internet connection (online pornography.)
These circumstances along with many other sexist, toxic aspects of our male supremacist society create A. Low empathy for women & girls in men, who do not connect to women through a feeling of shared humanity but an attitude of dominance B. Male entitlement to have their sexual needs met by attractive women and girls. This describes the basic male psychology, which is a narcissistic character structure. Incels are simply are more extreme presentation. In countries where sex industry is legalised the rates of men using prostituted WAG goes up to as high as 1 in 4 in Germany & 1 in 3 in Spain.
If you're feeling sorry for incels, who are abusive men, you are in my view displaying Stockholm syndrome, which is part of our condition as a class of people terrorised by male sexual violence. This is not meant to be snarky or judgemental a comment, I continue to struggle to unpack these tendancies in myself.
I am a female incel because I refuse to sleep with men who use porn or display any symptoms of misogyny & the pool of men I encounter due to chronic illness limitations is limited, & not tending to include the most enlightened ones. This means I haven't had sex or relationships in many years. I am also a in-non-mother. I really want a family & to have babies. There's not even a word for involuntarily not being able to mother children, because women aren't believed to be owed anything by men by society. When I try to date, I only really meet abusive men. I spoke to someone on a religious dating site recently who I'm pretty sure would have posed a serious threat to my safety had it progressed to a relationship stage. Unpacking men's compulsive lying (need to control your perceptions of them in order to stay in dominant position) is also a constant. This is normal' love life' stuff for me, having to weed out men that might eventually kill me. I can only imagine the male perspective that your biggest problem is potentially not being able to have sex (?!)
Despite this somewhat sad situation, I do not see myself as a victim, but rather a liberated, empowered woman who lives by her principles. I'd much rather have self respect to keep me warm at night rather than a wasteman's body.
I also own & recognise that law of attraction re my childhood templates re early life abuse has played a role in my romantic experiences. That being said I have done extensive self growth work over more than a decade, whilst my brother, who hasn't and who grew up in the same environment and had/has at least as many issues, has found a woman who treats him well in his first relationship. I think our sex is the main difference as to how he has avoided abusive experiences with intimate partners.
I would never identity as a female incel because I am socialised as female and therefore lack attitude of entitlement towards men. Incels biggest problem is their own self loathing & lack of awareness that that is the route of their issues. Most are able bodied & perfectly acceptable looking. They need to stop blaming & projecting their self hatred onto women & 'successful' men, and start working on why they really feel so badly about themselves. Therapy, trauma release work, men's emotional support groups (constructive ones) self help reading etc. If you deep down like & accept yourself, automatically you are attractive to others, because this kind of energy is magnetic. Incels 'problem' is pretty much self imposed/ invented by the incel. I don't find them the most worthy cause for my compassion. I'd rather support women in situations like me (& try to in the course of feminist activism.)