Trans Widows Escape Committee 3: Rise of the Trans Widows

[TinselAngel]

Less than two years have passed since the first TWEC thread and now its time for a third.

This is a support area for women who are, or have been, in unhappy relationships with male partners who are transitioning, or exploring their "gender identity"

If you are in that position-

1. You are not alone
2. It is not a situation that you should be expected to tolerate, let alone celebrate.
3. There is always a way out, if you want it. The thread is called Escape Committee for that reason

Remember: women talking to each other is a powerful weapon!

Regulars- do post here to get the thread going.

Lurkers- now would be a great time to de-lurk.

[shannonthrace]

@tyrotoxicity

"I don't know why daddy does ABC, but it makes me feel like XYZ, and I can't live like that"

This is so perfect.

[TinselAngel]

You'll have to wait and see social, I'm nerdy enough that I've had to rule out "A new hope" as four, when I'd already used "Strikes back" as two

[Weezol]

TinselAngel 'Attack of The Clones' seems appropriate.

[TinselAngel]

It does! But by my unfortunate self imposed rules it's not part four of a franchise so I can't use it!

Don't worry. I've thought of a good one so keep posting

[ItsOnAmericasTorturedBrow]

How about "I'm a widow not a trans widow and more stories from the other side"

[TinselAngel]

Deciding thread titles is not a democracy!

[ItsOnAmericasTorturedBrow]

[TinselAngel]

So I just blatantly took a photo of the Women and Home letters page in the super market, as mentioned by Helena previously.

Apparently telling our stories represents a slight on the transgender community

[TinselAngel]

Well done though if one of you is "Liz"

[socialworker222]

I too went to Smiths to check the Letters page and was interested that the writer didn't merely say 'I decided to stay and that worked for me', which would have been a reasonable perspective but also, as the priority, 'you can't say anything bad about a trans person'... The normal rules just don't apply!

[ItsOnAmericasTorturedBrow]

They are the most protected group ever. Weird isn't it?

[TinselAngel]

It's always about them, even on the rare occasions when it's about us.

If I was convinced that the author of the letter was real, I'd feel sorry for her. If she's lurking here then

[Tyrotoxicity]

I wonder, does it not occur to Candice that it's possible to be both callous and calculating and also to declare a trans identity? They're not mutually exclusive. This idea that saying the words "I am a woman" is some magical prophylactic against being a bellend of the highest order - it's batshit. Every class of people in the entire world has its knobheads!

[GroggyLegs]

DD always gets the same explanation: I don't know why daddy does ABC, but it makes me feel like XYZ, and I can't live like that, so I don't; and daddy is a grown-up, it's up to him to look after himself.

Delurking to thank you for our for this tyro - putting into words what I'm trying to say to my DC about their Dads temper

My respect & support goes to all of you, for remaining funny & strong in what must be unbearable circumstances at times

[Italiangreyhound]

TinselAngel that letter is so f-ing annoying. If that woman has had a good experience of her husband 'beibg a woman's why not just write that. It offer her own story for a documentary. Not try and silence another woman. If any person wants out if an unhappy marriage, that's their business. So wrong to criticize another telling their story. Very f-ing entitled.

[TinselAngel]

I mean who'd have thought you could take solidarity too far? It's bizarre.

@Tyrotoxicity - check your DM's if you haven't already x

[TinselAngel]

Just putting out the Welcome mat and the comfy chair for @AloneLonelyLoner who said on another thread that she'll be joining us.

[Datun]

TinselAngel

You're lovely x

[ItsOnAmericasTorturedBrow]

Welcome!

[HelenaDove]

Im willing to bet Woman and Home received more than two letters/e mails about it.


To all on these threads

[anomoony]

On them being dominated during sex - he tries to say he's just naturally submissive, but it's actually bollocks. Because he doesn't submit to what I want to do, he'll only gleefully submit to being told to do shit that he wants to do.

Ain't that the truth. My ex went on and on about how he wanted to be dominated and how I needed to be in charge, but then when I said what I wanted he'd look uncomfortable and try to veer into his own thing or refuse. I once wanted something simple like spontaneous sex in the shower (sorry for the TMI!) and he told me sex is a dry activity so that one was out.

(Of course I later realized he couldn't very well be "dressed" in the shower, so where's the fun?)

[HelenaDove]

Maybe as Woman and Home did that article someone may do a TV documentary about this.

[AloneLonelyLoner]

Hello All

Can I post in here please, I was directed this way by aFeminist Sister in another thread. My ex-husband is now living as a woman, but he wasn't transitioning as such when I was with him. He was just (for me at the time) a woman-hating, emotionally abusive rapist and would-be murderer. When I found out that he was living as a woman my head exploded.

He has abused my most very female parts for years. He had tried to destroy me and now here is is living as a woman. Oh and of course he's a lesbian. So he's aiming to be with women and no doubt hurt them.

He is the most sick and twisted person I ever met.
I have now transgender friends which I have tried to have in my life as I hate the fact I was and maybe stilll am so full of anger and hate, but I can't tell
Them why and I'm not sure I can come to terms with the fact that my ex is who he is because I feel it's all a front. My head is a mess. I'm sorry.

What a bad introduction to me.
Sorry.

[Italiangreyhound]

AloneLonelyLoner that must be so difficult. So very hard for you. No wonder you are so upset. It's fine to feel hatred and anger towards a man who abused you.

Have you had some counselling to help you get your head straight. If you read back to the start if this thread some other women have described counselling that has helped.

I am not a trabs widow but I lurk and, having read others stories, I know you are not alone.

[DurtySarf]

AloneLonelyLoner, de-lurking to show my support too.

Not a bad introduction, a real one.