Has any woman here ever been mistaken for a bloke?

[WomanBornNotWorn]

I've always been bigger than most other girls / women.

Despite an officially (Gok Wan hah!!) hourglass shape (waist 75% of equal sized hip/shoulders) etc etc etc, no gender confusion and what not, my overall bigliness (I'm the height of the average British bloke so half of them are smaller than me) has always been a potential for problems.

Oversized feet, big jaw, broad shoulders send ... the wrong message.

Never been particularly GNC, just not 'slim, dainty, girly, feminine, flirtatious, hot' and all the rest of that template stuff women are 'supposed to be'.

Each time I've been mis-sexed I remember with a jolt. Where I was, who said what, how I reacted - and what I was wearing. I actually think twice about what I wear in case it triggers an incident. Certain things I shy away from - Lace up shoes, trousers with jackets especially.

It's really rare to be fair, but over a lifetime that's a little collection I'd rather not have in the memory bank.

Does anyone else share this little anxiety?

I used to have a number 2 cut and wear pin stripe business suits and doc martens. I used to get a small number of comments about being the wrong gender to go in a particular toilet in bars. These comments were always designed to wind me up. I never thought any of those comments genuinely reflected any ambiguity in my gender.

These days I have long hair and wear dresses. I teach. I get a lot of comments which misgender me as "sir" rather than "miss". Almost all of these are from kids not paying much attention. They are in roughly the same quantity of people who accidentally call me mum.

I've never really felt particularly affected by either type of misgendering.

Not since I was about 9 in person, but often online.

They are in roughly the same quantity of people who accidentally call me mum.

Oh god! Flashback to first week of secondary school. cringe

It's almost always customer service people who aren't really looking at me and on autopilot. I rarely say anything unless it would cause more confusion further down the line and always politely in terms of clarifying rather than correcting their mistake.

It happens the other way round too.

I'm a man and people have assumed I am a woman - on the phone - never in real life . I have a beard but am apparently very soft spoken.

I will own up to misidentifying a woman as a man in the most incredibly embarrassing circumstances. I'm a cleaner and once, while cleaning the women's toilets where I work (Male Cleaner in Attendance sign dutifully put up outside) someone walked in as I was in one of the cubicles - "Excuse me," I said to their back (short hair heavy build) "This is the ladies..." She turned - VERY pissed off - "I'm a woman!" Obviously not the first time. I was mortified.

I’m 5 feet 2 and have big boobs. I also have the kind of hair cut that the most basic of barbers can do. Despite my short stature and obvious femaleness I get called sir quite a lot. It’s amazing how many people only notice clothes and hair.

I get the intentional sort of misgendering all the time though, along with dyke, lezer etc. It’s always by men and it’s never because they don’t know which sex I am.

Do I give a fuck? No I don’t.

Once only - in a hotel in Dubai when I answered the door to the room service guy. Perhaps he was expecting a man to answer and didn't look at me properly. It shouldn't have bothered me but it did

I find this interesting - I worked in a factory where we all wore long hooded overalls with a sort of wimple thing, just the top of your face showing, all mens cut obviously, so everyone looked like a klansman in wellies. In 10 years I don't think I ever mistook a man for a women, even from behind or at a distance.

You had to work quite hard to identify individuals so I guess you paid more attention whereas most of the mis-sexing on this thread seems to be half-a-glance-and-an-assumption.

Only once as an adult. I was wearing an army uniform and carrying a giant pack on my way home from an exercise in the field, and I was probably a little grubby. As I kid more often as I mostly was wearing boys styles of clothing and sometimes had very short hair.

Online it happens more often, something to do with my writing style or opinions. I've tended to work in male dominated areas so it might reflect that.

You had to work quite hard to identify individuals so I guess you paid more attention whereas most of the mis-sexing on this thread seems to be half-a-glance-and-an-assumption.

Also, in that situation while everyone looked alike, you didn't have people wearing things that caused someone to pick up the wrong cue. I think sometimes people who aren't paying attention, or don't see well, or have problems with facial recognition, use cues like haircut, or skirts, that kind of thing, to help. So if someone is wearing an unexpected thing they end up making an error.

People mistake me for a man at work all the time. It's very upsetting. I have a female name badge and large boobs but it makes no difference. I often wonder if they think I am a transsexual which is quite hard to take to be honest.

I’m an old bird. Often as a child and as others have said I quite liked it. Meh. Certainly didn’t throw my shit around.

I always get called "sir"

Granted i dont wear make up and i dont wear girlie clothes. But i dont think i look like a man :)

I'm only 5ft 1 and have always had a baby face. A few years ago (I was very slight in frame at the time) I was stood with my sons in Tesco on holiday. We were all wearing raincoats with the hoods up, having gone inside to shelter (I was wearing one of my sons' coats) when a woman called us all young boys.

I did not scream blue murder because she'd 'misgendered' me.

Just to clarify - I did not go on holiday to Tesco (cue 'Withnail &, I' "we've gone on holiday by mistake" moment)

Yes, i’ve Been mistaken as a boy.

I put it down to short hair.

Yes but I was wearing mens clothes at the time in GAY this guy was chatting away to me and when I replied he screeched "fucking hell your a woman!"

I'm short dumpy and have quite big boobs so think he may have had a few.

Yes frequently from behind. Despite average woman height, long hair and c-cup boobs, usually in a fitted (byt scruffy) t shirt. I do look quite scruffy though and dont have v delicate features. It's not flattering but I prefer it to being called Madam which I hate

I was called "young man!" once. I was delighted by the "young".

No, but I’m tall and fairly solid and when I was younger I worked with elderly people and the amount of times I heard something along the lines of “look at the size of it” in an almost disgusted tone was a bit upsetting (at the time). I think I may have preferred to have been mistaken for male rather than an unacceptably proportioned female.

On a semi related note (and I honestly feel uncomfortable about this, couldn’t say it in rl), I recently saw an ad for a series on tv with an actror/writer I’m really fond of, had a look at the blurb and for no reason other than the thumbnail, assumed the central character was a trans woman.
I felt a bit humphy about it because I watch everything this woman (playing the secondary main character) does and felt rather put out that it’d probably be a bit of a woke force-feed.
Anyway watched it, and within the first few minutes based on a piece of dialogue confirmed to myself the character was in fact TW.
I really enjoyed it but was braced for the trans rhetoric to come along. It didn’t.
Also found myself really warming to TW character because she wasn’t performing woman at all. Everything about her struck me as female: the humour, how she conveyed emotions and connections, just all of it.
She also wasn’t physically presenting as anything but authentically female. Beautiful to look at but with no artifice or inhibition.
Got all the way to episode 5 and she got her period. Straight onto google...woman.
I feel like I had gone on an epic journey, I’d honestly been rethinking everything I thought I knew.
But turns out I was just a div!

Bloody he’ll that’s long for a rather dull anecdote.

Look at the size of it!

I never have been, that I know of. I do worry about it though because I have a square jawline, big head, no boobs, broad shoulders, rugby player legs and size 8 feet. I never wear makeup or jewelry, and live in jeans. My hair is armpit length though, I tend to wear reasonably feminine tops, I have a big bottom and round tummy and my voice is that of a little girl, so that probably helps.

I would hate to be mistaken for a man, or a 'butch lesbian' for that matter. I would love to have a more naturally feminine appearance.

I get mistaken for a man quite often.

I am short, with boobs and long hair but I do wear combats and hoodies.

My kids think it is hilarious when I get called sir.

Never kicked off like some people I have seen do.
Don't see the reason

Knew a long haired guy in the 70s who got misgendered regularly on documents that required his photo.

In the early ‘90s I was very grunge. 5 foot 7, skinny, long hair. I can remember a few “is that/are you a boy or a girl?” type questions aimed at me. I didn’t really mind.

One time I was standing next to my brother. We were both in jeans and flannel shirts, with long hair. Some guy slapped me on the back saying, all right [brother’s name]. That was kind of funny.