Has any woman here ever been mistaken for a bloke?

[WomanBornNotWorn]

I've always been bigger than most other girls / women.

Despite an officially (Gok Wan hah!!) hourglass shape (waist 75% of equal sized hip/shoulders) etc etc etc, no gender confusion and what not, my overall bigliness (I'm the height of the average British bloke so half of them are smaller than me) has always been a potential for problems.

Oversized feet, big jaw, broad shoulders send ... the wrong message.

Never been particularly GNC, just not 'slim, dainty, girly, feminine, flirtatious, hot' and all the rest of that template stuff women are 'supposed to be'.

Each time I've been mis-sexed I remember with a jolt. Where I was, who said what, how I reacted - and what I was wearing. I actually think twice about what I wear in case it triggers an incident. Certain things I shy away from - Lace up shoes, trousers with jackets especially.

It's really rare to be fair, but over a lifetime that's a little collection I'd rather not have in the memory bank.

Does anyone else share this little anxiety?

I have a few times as I'm not large of bust, wear androgynous clothing and have had short hairstyles.

I couldn't care less. I'll correct them if it's relevant but if it's eg a parent saying to their child "let the man go past" or something then I don't bother or give it a second thought.

I wonder if it's more scale than height? Width of jaw, shoulders, size of hands and feet being read as male because - as we know - male skeletons and skulls regardless of height are generally heftier than female

I'd say so, yes. I'm 5'6" myself, which while being only the tall side of average for women is, by West Central Scotland standards, not particularly short for a man. I have many, many male friends, family members and colleagues who are shorter than me.

It is my fine bone structure rather than my height that is unmistakably female.

In winter I wear baggy jeans and big jumpers, last winter I had very short hair and got called sir a LOT. I also had a dad (only dad there) at a kids birthday party be very chatty when I was dressed like that, and he’s never acknowledged me again! No idea if he thought I was another dad and either doesn’t realise I’m the same person or is just embarrassed or what!

I’m also tall for a woman, with big hands, quite a feminine figure but small boobs so they’re easily hidden under big clothes

Once on a bus - a guy said "Excuse me, Sir" as he went past. I like to think it may be the fact that English was not his first language. OK my hair is short but I normally wear lipstick and have large norks. He just saw someone from the back in a black jacket and jeans.

At least that is what I believe!

Yes, often as a teenager and we'll into my twenties.

It's not a problem because it isn't an insult.

well

Yes, I’ve been assumed to be a trans woman.

Not in the flesh, I haven't. But in comms or on the internet, yes. I use the title 'Dr' professionally and have a gender neutral name, so an assumption is made that I am male quite a lot. Also, like a PP, I have 'male' interests.

Yes - I'm tall, big boned & naturally scruffy. Have spotted people double taking, & have sometimes been called 'sir' by mistake.

I'm a teacher so obviously it happens all the time at school - I reckon I get 3 'sir's to every 'mum'...

Why take this as a compliment? Are butch lesbians better than other women?

Yes. Yes they are. They're special and my own personal sacred caste. I trust that is a satisfactory answer.

(LOL. You're not very good at light humour, are you Marguerita?)

My tallest friend used to get mistaken for a bloke all the time, until she turned round ( cropped hair, face of an angel).
I was called “Sonny” in a shop when I cropped my hair, i was thirty, so rather delighted.

I was mistaken for a boy by my (now long) ex. I was laughing at him at the time while doing a heavy physical job with my hair tucked up in a cap and wearing jeans and a jumper. He called me a cheeky little shit and threatened to deck me (literally).
I was often mistaken for a boy in my teens/twenties, though apparently I “scrubbed up well”. Seems very long ago now.

Frequently when I was about 9 or 10 and had very short hair. I used to like it.

Then I grew massive boobs, and since then, never, no matter what I’m wearing or what my hairstyle is.

Not in adult life, but age 6-16 constantly taken for a boy because I had short hair and even post-puberty was not very curvy. I never minded because I liked having short hair and I was aware that people would easily assume I was a boy if I was in trousers so it never offended me.

DD (also short haired) gets the same and also doesn't mind - she does have a much girlier face than me, but I find people these days are even less able to comprehend a short-haired girl than they were in mine.

(LOL. You're not very good at light humour, are you Marguerita?)

I found it odd that a poster took being mistaken as a man as a compliment. I find it equally odd that you would take being mistaken as a butch lesbian as a compliment.

Was your post meant to be "light - humour" It wasn't remotely obvious. Perhaps you should have "lolled" when you posted.

Bloke? No. Primary school age boy? Yep. With my girlfriend as she went to the school to speak with her daughter's teacher, we were in the reception area and 5min after the ell went, a teacher came up from behind and demanded to know why I wasn't heading off to class Poor thing was so apologetic when I turned around to see who she was talking to. Misaged [by about 25 years] and "misgendered", all in one. Surprising I made it out alive really.

Don't worry: if you don't get it, you don't get it. Jokes aren't funny when explained, y'see.

"ell" = bell, grr keyboard

When i was younger, teens and twenties, I got mistaken for a boy often. I wore jeans, checked shirts and cap with my hair tucked up.

Im too petit to be mistaken for a man tho now, no matter what i wear.

I do and have: I think just because I have very cropped hair. Otherwise I am just a tubby middle aged woman so I don't know why I come across as manly.

Doesn't bother me at all but DH and I did get some homophobic abuse on the street about a year ago!! We didn't know how to react, it was rather shocking on several levels...!

No, but I have mistaken a women for a man before and felt very embarrassed and sorry for it - but didn't want to say that and draw out the situation. I sort of tried to pretend it hadn't happened.

Quite a bit when I was in my teens and skinny with small breasts and cropped hair. Not so much now, although once when in the ladies toilets dressed as a bloke including impressive fake moustache. But only for a second and then we both laughed about it.

I am interested in this too. I am regularly called ‘mate’ or ‘sir’ by people who are not really paying attention - so at first glance I must appear masculine. I am tall and broad and I wear hoodies, jeans and boots for the majority of the time. I have long hair but I wear it up. I don’t wear make up. However I have an unmistakably female figure with hips/boobs/bum although it is largely hidden by my clothes. I have always assumed it is overall size that people register and base their assumption on.

Yes as a child. But I was skinny and had a boys haircut.