Has any woman here ever been mistaken for a bloke?

[WomanBornNotWorn]

I've always been bigger than most other girls / women.

Despite an officially (Gok Wan hah!!) hourglass shape (waist 75% of equal sized hip/shoulders) etc etc etc, no gender confusion and what not, my overall bigliness (I'm the height of the average British bloke so half of them are smaller than me) has always been a potential for problems.

Oversized feet, big jaw, broad shoulders send ... the wrong message.

Never been particularly GNC, just not 'slim, dainty, girly, feminine, flirtatious, hot' and all the rest of that template stuff women are 'supposed to be'.

Each time I've been mis-sexed I remember with a jolt. Where I was, who said what, how I reacted - and what I was wearing. I actually think twice about what I wear in case it triggers an incident. Certain things I shy away from - Lace up shoes, trousers with jackets especially.

It's really rare to be fair, but over a lifetime that's a little collection I'd rather not have in the memory bank.

Does anyone else share this little anxiety?

As a child, yes. I had short hair and wore trousers a lot.
Not since being an adult.

I wonder if I have ever mistaken a woman for a man. I am not aware of ever having done so. I don't recall ever doing a double take in the ladies loo or a shop changing room.

I'm really puzzled by the poster who said she had a conversation with a male parent and he still didn't twig. I would have thought hearing a voice and engaging in a mutual interaction would clear any doubt up.

Once when stopped by police in Regent St. Granted, I was wearing leathers and a bike helmet aside a rather large bike at the time! My crime was only having one L plate (I didn't need them but husband had borrowed bike); this in 1976 when laws were different

As a child I was often mistaken for a boy which pleased me greatly as I desperately wished to be one.

I recently had my hair cut short and have been called sir or lad a couple of times. Even though I'm 5ft 1 so would be a very short man. I wear t-shirts/hoodies and jeans mainly.

The first time the bloke barely glanced at me and didn't even realise his mistake. I didn't care because it didn't bother me.

The second time the lady called me a young lad, then apologised profusely. I said I didn't care because she called me young.

It really doesn't bother me. I don't get offended. Most people judge on a quick glance, sometimes they get it wrong.

I also have a son with autism who frequently misgenders people, he still hasn't quite figured out she/her he/him and also often calls people "it" as well. So I would hope
most people would be understanding if he got it wrong.

On the phone, aaaaaalll the time. In fact, most of the time unless its someone who knows my name already.

In person, it happened a few times when i was in my 20s and very athletic. Very quickly corrected though. One of those things.

I have PCOS so generally more masculine flavour than is typical about my physical self.

Yes

I am tall, slim, straight up and down body shape and short hair

From the back I have been called "young man" by folk from the older generation

Not bothered in the slightest

Oh and I have been called Sir in school. But have also been called Mum and Nan so probably not important.

In my first full time job, back in my early twenties, I discovered a group of colleagues were talking about me behind my back and sending each other cartoon drawings of me, saying that I looked like a man, like a drag queen, and that my nickname was Funny Face.

Now in my forties, I've been told by a beautician that I have strong features, and an 'image consultant' that I am 'striking'. Whatever that means.

Yes I do. I did all the time as a child as I was very much a tomboy (sorry not a great term but you know what I mean). As an adult I've always had short hair, and I'm tall with large-ish hands and feet. I often wear feminine things so not then, and I have a big pear-shaped bum of the type I've never seen on a man but if I'm in jeans, boots and a coat people will sometimes use "sir" or "he" if they're not really paying attention.

I sometimes correct them if it matters, but I don't mind. It's a mistake anyone can make, and I've done it too with some men. Now I have a teen DS with long hair and he gets it all the time, despite looking very male in the face and body.

I've often been assumed to be a lesbian, which is fine, or more rudely, a lesbian in denial. I wish I was!

People don't look properly.My DD had a buzz cut and was assumed to be a boy until it grew back a bit.She is 5'6", has a very deffnatly female body.

Yeh a couple of times and like you say I can recall the scenarios exactly... I think the ppl concerned are just absolute twats and even if I stood there with my vagina out they would still say the same. I don't look masculine AT ALL. It's just that I'm tall and cast an imposing figure but I quite like that

Yes when ive had short hair i have been frequently misgendered, to the extent a man squared up to me once after he walked into me, then he was all apologetic when he realised i was a woman.
I don't think i have a particularly masculine face, and im quite hourglass, but i think people don't take a lot of information when identifying gender

My daughter is often misgendered too, but she doesnt care as she says its not important

No never.

I have mistaken an 11 year old boy for a girl- he had beautiful eyelashes and hair.

It's really rare that I'd have any doubt. I was with a friend at uni who was misgendered at the bar, and felt very put out about it. She had an adolescent boy vibe, but exchange a sentence with her and there'd be no doubt.

I'm only 4"11 and I've often been mistaken for a boy. it doesn't bother me in the slightest.
I could understand it when I was younger as I've always had short hair and usually dressed in jeans but I would have thought that the 32G chest was a giveaway.!

Three times :

• I was physically attacked once, the blokes mate yelled “its a girl!” and he backed off then. A bloke did similar to me once. I was wearing a long coat, I suspect I was mistaken for a male goth.
• Another long coat incident, lady told her kids to get out of the gentleman's way.
• This incident, in the loo during the interval at a gig I was playing.

The only one that actually upset me was the last one, because of the erasure of female players of my instrument. Being missexed doesn't itsself bother me.

Twice. Once as a ten year old with short hair in a crowd, watching a procession. Someone said “let this little boy to the front” I was actually wearing a dress, so I remember being a bit bemused. Then again as an adult in my thirties, waiting for a bus in a fleece and jeans and docs. Short hair again. A man asked me a question and addressed me as ‘mate’ then when I turned round he was a bit embarrassed, because I suppose my face is quite small and female looking. I was a bit put out but more because I realised I probably looked a bit of a state in a fleece than because he thought I was a man. I’m normally quite well turned out.

I do think that there’s a lot of pressure on women like the OP to conform to specifics that are impossible in order to be considered to be doing woman properly. And the punishment for failing to conform is severe in terms of social interactions. I think it’s really sad that women are restricted to such a narrow ‘look’ and I think it’s getting narrower despite the fact that fashion is supposed to set us free to be beautiful butterflies or whatever. I’m in my 50s now and 90% of girls and young women I see today have long, usually blonde hair if they are white, ( I assume it’s died because we are not in Sweden), and they wear tight, fancy, impractical clothes (with no pockets) and fancy, impractical boots and bags and theres a lot of pink or glittery, shiny accessories. I can’t understand it. I thought the 70s and 80s were supposed to be more sexist but all of my group of friends when I was a teenager had short hair and wore jeans and T-shirt or jumpers exactly like our male friends. Very occasionally we’d wear some kind of dress but a jumper dress, or a mini skirt with a jumper and boots. I had my share of weird outfits because I was a punk in the late 70s and a goth in the early 80s, that’s not what I mean, I mean mainstream women’s fashion has got more and more sexist and narrow.

Not in real life, but my (unusual, non-British) name sounds a lot like a common Spanish male name. I've been on quite a few teleconferences where a Spanish or Italian person was very surprised that I was female. It amuses me though.

Often when I had short hair. I was another child of the 70s with a home done short haircut and hand me down boys clothes. Again a few times as a young adult when my hair was short again. Not when I have long hair.
My husband was mistaken for a woman a few times in his youth when he had long hair.

Several times -I'm over 6ft and broad

When it's been shop staff who've greeted me as sir before actually looking at me I've never been bothered and they've always quickly corrected themselves and apologised

When it's been drunk blokes in bars asking if I used to be a man, if I'm one of 'those trannys' or attempting to put their hands in between my legs to check -I've been very offended and the last one may have got a slap

A few times makes me feel so embarrassed. I can remember each time vividly

I have a very skinny build and small chest. I also have pcos which makes my eyebrows and sideburns coarse

I don’t wear men’s clothes, but I also don’t wear stereotypically feminine clothes (dresses/makeup/jewellery) because l feel too manly to dress up

E.g. I’m mostly in jeans and a plain / striped top

I was mistaken for a teenage boy walking home from the gym in the dark ! An older man visibly jumped when I took out my key approaching my front door. He admitted he thought I was a " hoody" and my key was a knife, I think he must have been very nervous lol. I'm very petite but was wearing a tracksuit - with a hood!
DS was always mistaken for a girl as a baby ...apparently because his pram was red. Silly me I didn't realise boys should only have blue prams

attempting to put their hands in between my legs to check

The transactivists accuse "TERF" women of crotch-check sexual assaults, yet in reality it's males who do that. Quelle fucking surprise.

Online as a fifteen year old I was accused multiple times of being a middle aged man. Apparently "teenage girls don't talk like that." What, in full sentences with excellent grammar and punctuation? I was offended by the sexist stereotype.

Once when I was about eighteen, walking home at night, wearing a flatcap, some dickheads shouted "haha, you girl!" out of a car window. I think they thought I was a bloke with some feminine attributes. It was clear there was supposed to be an insult in there, but to this day I remain vaguely bemused by it.

Aged around twenty five, a couple of teenage boys cycling past had a brief yet loud conversation about whether I was male or female. Again, I was bemused. Presumably the poor souls were visually impaired (because these hips and this arse are a bit of a clue), and as such probably shouldn't have been cycling on the road (or indeed at all).

Yeah every so often. At bars, in ladies' loos, parents telling their children to move out of my way, in shops, etc.

I'm 5'4" with GG tits!

But in their defence, I have no hips (I've been a variety of weights during my adult life, from 10½ to 20 stone, and no matter what weight I am, men's trousers fit me better round the arse/hips/thighs; I've a choice between men's trousers several inches too long, or women's trousers that billow out round my bum and hips like I'm MC Hammer), my shoulders are broad and straight, and I have short hair with a #3 round the back and sides, so from behind I guess I have a masculine look.

But I do also get it from people who can perfectly well see the front of me, which I do find a bit baffling.

It could be that I don't wear makeup, have a fairly low voice, and might not be particularly good at broadcasting the right social signals to be read as "woman" because of my ASD (I'm aware I tend to instinctively move, stand and sit in ways I find comfortable that don't come across as particularly feminine, judging by video I've seen of myself). And I don't wear particularly female-coded clothes because I'm more comfortable in my daily uniform of jeans, t-shirt, hoodie (and it seems to happen more frequently when I'm wearing a leather jacket).

Even so, though. The tits. They're not subtle.