Has any woman here ever been mistaken for a bloke?

[WomanBornNotWorn]

I've always been bigger than most other girls / women.

Despite an officially (Gok Wan hah!!) hourglass shape (waist 75% of equal sized hip/shoulders) etc etc etc, no gender confusion and what not, my overall bigliness (I'm the height of the average British bloke so half of them are smaller than me) has always been a potential for problems.

Oversized feet, big jaw, broad shoulders send ... the wrong message.

Never been particularly GNC, just not 'slim, dainty, girly, feminine, flirtatious, hot' and all the rest of that template stuff women are 'supposed to be'.

Each time I've been mis-sexed I remember with a jolt. Where I was, who said what, how I reacted - and what I was wearing. I actually think twice about what I wear in case it triggers an incident. Certain things I shy away from - Lace up shoes, trousers with jackets especially.

It's really rare to be fair, but over a lifetime that's a little collection I'd rather not have in the memory bank.

Does anyone else share this little anxiety?

Yes.

Yes, when I was in my early twenties it happened a fair bit. I had a buzz cut and tended to wear jeans and shirts. Didn't bother me. I'm five foot five and was quite slight in those days.

A few times. I'm 5ft 10 and I don't woman properly, I favour hoodies, jeans and trainers. You wouldn't believe how distressing its been for me... literal violence.

Yy to the range of gender expression getting narrower, or at least more stratified, in recent years.

Something that really surprises me, and im aware what i sound like saying this, is the usual look for female junior doctors (Im not a doctor but do work in hospitals). By juniors i mean f1, f2 (used to be house officer/senior house officer). Almost without exception they go for short bodycon dresses. Some really are surprisingly short. They all look great but to me it's quite a sexualised appearance that i would never have considered at work, particularly work where i would have to bend and kneel down a fair bit. Having said that, the dresses dont gape at the front if you bend over, and are 'bare below the elbow' for infection control. Im not sure if its positive that women feel able to wear more obviously feminine, sexy clothes at work without burying themselves in suits and an unending series of black trousers the way i did and do, or whether its depressing that professional women with huge responsibilities feel that sexy revealing dresses are part of standard work gear.

I have a pretty slim figure with curvy hips so quite a feminine figure, but I'm also tall and have had very short hair. It happened occasionally then, not so much now I have longer hair.

Never really bothered me to be honest. Gave me and whoever I was with something to laugh about for a moment!

Yes. When I was about 17. But to be fair, I did look like a bloke. Short hair, hoody, jeans and kickers.

Yes lots as a kid as very skinny with short hair. All stopped when I grew boobs.

Sure, when I was younger. Didn't bother me.

I'm not tall, but I have a stocky build, a squarish face, and tend to wear baggy jeansy clothes, so it's happened to me various times. Sometimes kids would ask me, so I suspect some adults who weren't sure never said anything. It never bothered me, and walking at night I hope to be mistaken for a bloke.

Up to my mid 20s, sometimes mistaken for a young lad mainly by men. I was quite androgynous but with long hair and had no body confidence/self esteem about looks. Cut my hair short, decided i liked myself and it hasn't happened since. It did notjer me when i was younger as i associated it with being ugly and not feminine but as my self esteem grew, it stopped bothering me because it was only a mistake and hardly a terrible one.

I haven't, but my DH used to get it a lot when he had long hair, especially as he is shorter and slimmer than average. It was normally blokes mistaking him for a woman from the back (like telling him he was going into the 'wrong' toilets) and would frequently get aggressive once they realised their error.

Yes, a lot.
I used to work on building sites /railway tracks (inspections) and if I was in my site gear then basically all the time when I was on lunch break etc. I have short hair. Usually a second glance and they'd realise and apologise but not always. I was and remain entirely unbothered.

Site gear not made in female sizes REALLY pisses me off though

Every so often I'm misgendered, my build,appearance and features are all very obviously female as is my voice. I presume it's down to a failure in my performance of femininity - most likely I've been too direct and insufficient deferential to a man

When I had short hair I was mistaken once for a man and lots of times for a lesbian.

Only when I was about 11 taking my little brother (6) swimming - over 50 years ago and quite acceptable.

A oldish (I think) man said to me "That's a good lad taking your little sister swimming".

I had short hair and my brother had glorious red curls.

I can't remember how much it bothered me at the time but I still remember so it certainly made an impact.

I have been a few times. I am quite small, sometimes have short hair and wear comfortable clothes. End result can be that of a teenage boy.

I can't see that it matters at all.

Only as a prepubescent child, not since puberty. I've never worn make-up in my life and haven't worn heels since I had my second child 12 years ago. I have a job I need pockets and practical footwear for and wear jeans or lose casual trousers and always trainers to work. I only wear dresses when the weather is over 30 degrees (live abroad), and then they're just practical loose sun dresses usually with bare feet or flipflops, but that's only perhaps four weeks per year.

I'm 5 ft 7 and chubby, I have fairly broad shoulders for a woman but also fairly wide hips, small hands and feet and a feminine face.

Perhaps it's all in the hands and feet as I can't see much difference in height and the way I dress between me and the women who've posted above who do get mistaken for males.

Or perhaps it's purely and simply the hair and some people are stuck at 3 year old developmental categorisation/ grouping stage (and / or just don't look properly).

Are women ever making this mistake about other women when they have a clear look and see someone move I wonder, or is it all when people haven't looked properly or men who are looking subconsciously for different signals/ signifiers rather than on the alert...

It's fascinating what an infinite variety we are, different heights, sizes, hair length, figure types, yet so many of us have been mis-sexed (as opposed to mis-gendered, aka true-sexed). If WE encounter this, how is anyone supposed to avoid mis-gendering? I'm getting myself confused here.

Sadly my youngest son decided to cut his beautiful long blond hair (which he'd been very insistent about not cutting all through the hot summer) when a dentist of all people insisted he was a girl and wouldn't be politely corrected by DS himself as though DS didn't know It's a non issue to misidentify the sex of a prepubescent child accidentally, because small children aren't really that different to one another shape wise, but properly weird to correct a little child in jeans and a t shirt when they politely say "I'm not a girl I'm a boy" (or vice versa) on the basis of hair length.

I game.

Always getting called mate

It happens to me fairly regularly when customer service people aren't paying attention. I'm tall with short hair and a strong jawline and I don't wear makeup. But I don't sound like a man, so they get very apologetic very quickly. I really couldn't care less. I know I am female. I don't need them to reassure me about this.

Regularly on the phone. Doesn't bother me, I just correct them - no biggie.

Yes, from behind I am sometimes mistaken for a teenage boy as I have a boyish hair cut and prefer to wear men's or unisex clothes. Confusion tends to disappear when i turn round.

Although I was repeatedly addressed as Mr Mipsum while speaking to someone in a professional context a few weeks ago. No idea what that was about as my voice couldn't possibly be mistaken for a man's!

Personally no because I'm a femme

What’s that?

This thread is quite eye-opening and necessary, considering the amount of comments insisting that butch lesbians and non-gender conforming women have nothing to fear from bathrooms etc. being gender-policed because "it's really easy to tell a person's biological gender and butch women never get challenged or harassed for using ladies rooms.

It’s not that straight forward. Most posters have said that it’s when people don’t look at them properly and most catch on after paying attention. Mistaking someone for the opposite sex isn’t really a big deal, because most people catch on once they pay attention. I was often mistaken for being a boy/young man, as I dress in androgynous clothes, but once people interest with you they know what sex you are. No big deal and I’ve never had the urge to scream ‘I’m a woman’ at anyone.