If some lesbians do want to include transwomen, why can't they?
No one is saying women shouldn't have sex with trans women. Just that if they do, they are not lesbians.
Good post, WishIhad
If it's taken down to brass tacks:
Lesbian has always meant biological women with an exclusive orientation to other biological women.
Many lesbian women arrived at lesbianism via sex with men that was unsatisfying or less for them than sex with women, (whole lot of stuff around female oppression and the straitjacket of sex stereotypes relevant here) but then chose an exclusive orientation towards biological women only. For biological women who orient to both male and female sexual partners there's the word bisexual. Nothing wrong with either term and everyone knows what it means.
Then along came identity politics and transgenderism.
Who is attempting to redefine the word 'lesbian' to mean just a label that anyone can select for themselves regardless of biological sex?
Men and supporters of men: not lesbians themselves.
Why have those men and their supporters wished to redefine what lesbian means?
To include men in lesbianism.
Who does this redefinition benefit?
Men who wish to call themselves lesbians, and who wish to have exclusively biologically female oriented people as sexual partners as the ultimate validation of their transition since lesbian women only obviously sleep with other women.
Who does this re definition harm?
Women with an exclusive biologically female orientation who wish to continue to be out and proud, to meet in spaces with only other lesbians who are biologically female and exclusively biologically female oriented, and to not be insulted and pressured to 'overcome their genital preference' (conversion therapy, not allowed in terms of trans people but downright good for women who won't 'include' men in their bodies apparently) and to place the validation of males over and above their own desire and rights to choice, boundaries, satisfying and enjoyable sex and to express their own sexuality. Women who do not believe that men become women and are not willing to pretend.
Basically, lesbians.
The re definition is an act of hostile colonisation. It is men telling women who they are, what they may do, what their boundaries may be and what will happen to them if they do not obey. It is an aggressive act of harassment, and it is homophobic in that it frames a woman expressing an exclusive orientation to other biological females as something negative, shameful and deserving of punishment.