Why can’t transgender lesbians just date each other?

[Hithere12]

I keep seeing online transgender women so angry a female lesbian doesn’t want to date someone trans, but it begs the question why can’t they just date each other?

If they genuinely believe a trans woman is without question a woman and they are attracted to women then surely this would solve all their problems in terms of finding a partner? They could just date each other? Unless they don’t want to date trans women because they don’t see trans women as real women? Hmm

maybe they don't know any trans women who are lesbians.

maybe they do, but they're not attracted physically or emotionally to the person - not because they're trans, but because physically or otherwise they're not their type.

i'm not sure what point you're trying to make

maybe they don't know any trans women who are lesbians

60% of trans women identify as lesbians so how could they not?

i'm not sure what point you're trying to make

The point I am making is that female lesbians are facing abuse from trans activists because they don’t want to date someone with a penis. I’m just saying they could date other women like them and this would solve all their problems finding someone. Is lesbians being attacked over this something you’re unaware of?

Many do, as I understand it. And some are male-attracted and happily settled. Seems wrong to make a sweeping statement about an entire demographic.

Abuse of lesbians is a real thing, unfortunately. All the lesbians I know (and most of the gay men too, to be fair) have left the “official” LBTQ scene and are much happier for it.

Abuse of lesbians is a real thing, unfortunately. All the lesbians I know (and most of the gay men too, to be fair) have left the “official” LBTQ scene and are much happier for it

Exactly. I don’t know if these people are new to the Feminism forum or are just pretending to be ignorant. A lesbian was slapped in a bar recently for not wanting to date someone trans.

Ok I’ll use another analogy. Gay men are not bullying straight men to date them and sending them abuse for not wanting to date them.

You have lesbians - who are only attracted to same sex biological females - being harassed and abused by trans women for not wanting to date them. My solution is that if they see trans women as real women why can’t they just date each other? Why does it matter if female lesbians won’t date them?

I’ll cut to the chase. They don’t want to date someone with a penis. They don’t see trans women as real women. Yet they hound lesbians for the exact same reason.

It's because they need validation from sleeping with a female. Their cognitive dissonance will only carry them so far.

Maybe the numbers are vanishingly small. Not the 'only gay in the village' but the 'only transman in the county' ?

Why the hell should they date someone if they don't want to? Your attitude sounds like you think all those LGBT weirdos should stick together - that's crap. We all have the right to choose our own sexual partners.

I was just browsing the GC subreddit and within minutes found an example of this treatment of lesbians

Quote from thread:

“I am a lesbian who will never be attracted to men, male bodies, male genitals or humans who think like men. Never. That shall not change.

I have recently tried diving back into the dating pool, and have found the same issues many fellow lesbians run into. Lesbian dating sites/apps ect. Are now crowded with mtf trans. 9 out of every 10 messages I get is from a mtf trans person.

If you put in your dating profile that you are only interested in biological females, you get bombarded with hate mail from angry mtf trans people.

I tried so hard to be supportive of the mtf trans movement, but I just can't.”

www.reddit.com/r/GenderCritical/comments/bzy839/does_anyone_else_feel_a_lot_of_anger/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app

I dont care who people date. I'd rather they didn't claim to be same-sex attracted (lesbian) tho, if they are 1. male and 2. in or wanting a relationship with a female.

We all have the right to choose our own sexual partners.

Quite.

OP are you a lesbian? I am a lesbian and I don’t know many other lesbians, let alone trans lesbians (who I wholeheartedly believe are women and would be open to dating). I try not to comment on posts like this but OP if you’re not a lesbian it’s not really your place to discuss this

I very very much doubt you'd believe every male person claiming to be a lesbian was a woman who you'd be open to dating. Try #girlslikeus on Twitter.

greenchilly I am not a lesbian and wouldn’t dream of telling you how to “lesbian” properly so this is a genuine question
Are you really attracted to people with penises if they present themselves in a typically female way? I’m not telling you who to be attracted to I am just a bit baffled as I understood a lesbian to be a woman attracted to other female bodied people

I know what you're describing OP: I've seen some of this online, the position that it is 'too triggering' for males who identify as women to have sexual relationships with other males who identify as women. Perfectly understandable and obviously personal needs and choices around sex should always be respected. Yet the relevant point to this thread is that this position is politically extended to mean it is therefore justifiable and socially acceptable that males who identify as women may openly state an exclusive preference for biological females for sexual relationships, while at the same time stating that it is unacceptable for biological women to state an exclusive preference for biological women in the same way, and this is framed as a serious fault and act of bigotry if they do so.

This inevitably raises questions and exposes some of the most anti woman and insulting/threatening illogic in the ideology, for example that this makes clear that it is perfectly possible for everyone to differentiate between biological males and biological females just as the human race has always done. And that in some situations, biology matters and it is appropriate and necessary to make a distinction and a choice.

So it then becomes simply about who is entitled to make those distinctions and who isn't, who is entitled to have choice and have their needs, feelings and preferences respected and who isn't, and therefore who has power and who doesn't. Because this forces inequality and oppression on women while trying to frame it a 'positive' social thing, and sets up a relationship of unequal power and unequal standards, which is the hallmark of a bullying and abusive relationship.

Note for the hard of thinking: this obviously in no way polices anyone's individual sexual choices and preferences, this is about the rights of women, and the threat to women in such political ideas. And the actual harassment being experienced by women, by males wishing to dictate and control their boundaries and rights.

And for the even harder of thinking: no you do not have to be a lesbian to be allowed to talk about homosexuality or a political assault on women's rights, and I'll be glad to help you locate a grip store.

if you’re not a lesbian it’s not really your place to discuss this

Oh really? So if you’re not female, like transwomen aren’t, then its not their place to discuss women’s issues like, who can access our bathrooms, sports, positions... funny how it doesn’t work both ways huh.

We can actually discuss any issue we want.

Because they don’t want to suck or fondle or have to deal with penis-pleasure, (other than their own, obviously).

Unfortunately for them, I’ve never met an actual lesbian that wants to do that either.

Greenchilly, I'm a lesbian. If you're female and you're attracted to people with penises you're not a lesbian, you're straight or bisexual — and you have no right to tell lesbians what they should and shouldn't be doing.