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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Use of trans identified male as opposed to transwoman No2.

999 replies

happydappy2 · 16/06/2019 22:21

MNHQ There has been much written recently about how the controlling of the words we use, is very misleading. Many women reject the word transwoman as it can be misunderstood. In light of this, would you reconsider yr guidelines that Trans Identified Male can not be used? It would seem a more factually accurate description of a human male who presents in a stereotypically female way. Thank you.

OP posts:
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10
PurpleCrowbar · 17/06/2019 23:18

LimeKiwi

agree, it seemingly works one way though

Seriously, where are you getting that from? Poster after poster has robustly defended your right to use the terms you prefer.

LimeKiwi · 17/06/2019 23:19

Presuming this is squirrel upthread referred to
This thread and its predecessor have been illuminating. It hadn't occurred to me that the prospect of women using their own words to describe their own realities would unleash torrents of relentless antipathy
Agreed, I'm repeatedly told I'm not one as I sometimes disagree.
I am though, telling me not is a bit silencing,
. I hadn't realised how dangerous some people must feel it is to allow women free speech
Women always free speech, I'm always for that!

OccasionalKite · 17/06/2019 23:40

Link to the relevant parliamentary Women and Equalities committee video:
parliamentlive.tv/Event/Index/0d07ff13-636e-4b51-a946-2877e583dc4c

Karen Ingala Smith starts speaking at about 5'48".

At about 08'05", she starts explaining about definitions.

Well worth a watch.

R0wantrees · 17/06/2019 23:42

OccasionalKite thanks for the link, I agree its well worth a watch.

SuePerbly · 17/06/2019 23:42

*My main issues with the calling transwoman, men instead are as follows-

The term transwoman, by definition is factual and does not deny biological reality.

You are not talking about ‘males’ in a generic sense, but a ‘subset’ of males. When you talk about a subset of people you don’t need to address the whole group.

If someone does not understand the term, it is better to educate than change a word.

Transwoman is not a ‘woman’ prefixed with ‘trans’ any more than ‘man’ is prefixed with ‘wo’ to provide woman. They are separate things.

But most importantly, using a knowingly offensive term, that does not infringe on your rights or affect your ability to discuss your concerns is uncalled for imo.

I respect your right to say what you want but I’m entitled to not agree with it and question it as much as I see fit*

Totally agree with all that is written here.

I DO object to the use of the term "TIM" here. I accept I am in the minority and that is fine. But I object because:

A) this is one of the only places online where GC issues can be discussed. Using the "TIM" term gives so much fuel for TRAs to be able to shout "bigot" in addition the fuelling their bile towards people they sometimes describe as "t@rfs". For whatever reason, the media is listening to these people more than GC feminists. Having GC feminism conflated with bigotry in the media, means the wider public are less likely to listen to valid points made by GC feminists.

B) As one of the few places online allowed to discuss this stuff, if the advertisers decide they agree that describing trans women as "TIM"s is bigotry, we risk losing the ability to discuss this even to the extent we are able to now.

Mumsnet is not a public service. It is a business. To expect Mumsnet to possibly take a hit on their advertising revenue, and impact their own profit margins, simply because people chose this hill to die on, is both utterly selfish to those who make a living from this site, and runs the risk of us losing the ability to discuss this stuff here at all.

C) I have yet to hear a reason which makes coherent sense, about why we cannot discuss safeguarding using the term trans women. Funnily enough, people who safeguard as part of their profession manage to do this every day as part of their jobs.

D) It is both massively offensive (which will possibly lose public sympathy), inaccurate and demeaning to define someone by what they are not as opposed to what they are. A "Trans Identifying Male" may relate to someone who identifies as "other kin" or as trans race. It is not specific enough.

"TIM"s also sounds like a person who was born a biological woman, but identifies as male. So equally as "confusing" as the term trans woman.

E) The vast majority of other organisations accept the definitions of trans woman and trans men. Going against these terms will surely create more confusion, not less.

F) Finally, this is in no way just about protecting women's spaces and rights. If it was, concerns would be regularly expressed about trans men, who may pass incredibly well, scaring natal women in public spaces. As natal women could reasonably believe that the trans man possesses a penis, if he "passes" well. Yet concerns about the impact of trans men in women's spaces is never raised.

Yes, there is the fact that trans men commit crime at the same rate as natal women, but when presented by what appears to be a natal male in a loo, women may not realise that he is a trans man, so they would experience the same fear as if a male bodied person was in there.

This is seldom mentionned. If this is REALLY about natal women being scared, why isn't it?

It strongly comes across that whilst many posters have genuinely held concerns, that there is an awful undercurrent of glee at being able to hurt those individuals who self refer as "Trans women" by ramming home the point that they are male.

It is totally unfair and out of line to make transwomen the only marginalised group unable to have their preferred terms respected, when FWR would go apeshit at oppressed women not being allowed to describe themselves how they choose - hence the furore over the term "c1s".

On the one hand, even if that term was allowed on mumsnet, posters would still renounce the description of themselves as "c1s" yet it is ok to impose YOUR preferences on another group.

That smacks of hypocrisy and bigotry. It definitely comes across as hatred of trans women, and so it is likely to lose support for GC feminism.

These threads have been the most openly transphobic I have ever seen. And I have never viewed FWR as transphobic until now. As others have said, this shark jumping has taken the scales from my eyes.

Bottom line, I don't want male bodied people in women's spaces. I don't want to lose ground because of attitudes that can be perceived as bigotry and transphobia.

And if I have to choose between following this thinly veiled hatred, and supporting trans women's right to their own terminology, then I will support the latter more. And I will not be the only one. So you will lose support because you already are. And from GC feminists at that.

Agrona · 17/06/2019 23:47

Very well said stealthsquirrel.

Thank you for the link OccasionalKite. I agree with your points.

R0wantrees · 17/06/2019 23:54

The standard mumsnet rules for AIBU and the rest of the website should be reinstated, and I'd also like to see the magnificent feminists and long time site stalwarts who got banned for failure to comply with forced speech invited to return. Their contributions were valuable and they are sorely missed.

If a parliamentary committee can cope with hearing male bodied people described as such then why would a women and child oriented site like mumsnet continue to be cowed by the demands of anti-women activists?

So, that's a yes from me. Because (to reuse a brilliant simile) forced speech really is like rohypnol. It dulls our defences. It changes our inhibitions. It's meant to. We've had a lifetime’s experience learning to be alert to ‘him’ and relax to ‘her’. For good reason. This instinctive response keeps us safe. It’s not even a conscious thing. It’s like your hairs standing on end. Your subconscious brain is helping you not get eaten by the sabre tooth tiger that your eyes haven’t noticed yet.

StealthSquirrel great post, thank you.

OvaHere · 17/06/2019 23:54

Fantastic post stealthsquirrelnutkin

If a parliamentary committee can cope with hearing male bodied people described as such then why would a women and child oriented site like mumsnet continue to be cowed by the demands of anti-women activists

This is a very good point.

LimeKiwi · 18/06/2019 00:02

My main issues with the calling transwoman, men instead are as follows- The term transwoman, by definition is factual and does not deny biological reality.You are not talking about ‘males’ in a generic sense, but a ‘subset’ of males

Agree

But most importantly, using a knowingly offensive term, that does not infringe on your rights or affect your ability to discuss your concerns is uncalled for imo
Totally say yes to that too.
And I have never viewed FWR as transphobic until now.
Yes to this, I never did too. Until "Why do they get Trans Remembrance Day? and the Park Run thread at the same time

LimeKiwi · 18/06/2019 00:06

A) this is one of the only places online where GC issues can be discussed. Using the "TIM" term gives so much fuel for TRAs to be able to shout "bigot" in addition the fuelling their bile towards people they sometimes describe as "t@rfs

At the risk of saying "this" again I agree with this too.

Datun · 18/06/2019 00:09

Excellent post stealthsquirrelnutkin.

It's about a concept and being able to accurately identify males in terms of sex based rights. It's not personal or about causing offence. Perception is key and needs to be rooted in reality.

OvaHere · 18/06/2019 00:17

Very true Datun I agree it's important for women and girls to accurately describe their experiences and the way they traverse this world. Part of that is being able to speak truthfully and openly about the opposite sex.

SuePerbly · 18/06/2019 00:22

It's not personal

Nor are general misogynistic attitudes. That doesn't stop them actually BEING personal in terms of the impact on our lives. Same with this.

When the definitions of "Trans woman" and "trans man" are specifically taught during safeguarding training, then how will those with a responsibility for safeguarding not know what they mean? I don't understand that at all.

Unless you mean safeguarding at a societal level, rather than that undertaken by those whose job role involves safeguarding?

Ereshkigal · 18/06/2019 00:23

Why not start describing people by body size or IQ or nose size...

As soon as people's body size or nose size or IQ has a damaging effect on my rights you can be sure I'll be using accurate language there too.

Ereshkigal · 18/06/2019 00:25

"Everyone is responsible for safeguarding" is pretty much safeguarding 101.

OccasionalKite · 18/06/2019 00:28

KIS: " Sex is the biological group into which we are born, and we're not assigned a gender at birth, it's observed and it's recorded.

"Gender is a set of rules and norms that we're socialised into."

Still watching the parliamentary Women and Equalities committee video:

parliamentlive.tv/Event/Index/0d07ff13-636e-4b51-a946-2877e583dc4c

It is quite interesting and informative.

SuePerbly · 18/06/2019 00:32

I also do not see how using the term "trans woman" precludes women from describing their experiences. It is no more confusing an expression than "T1M", arguably less so since more of the population use it.

So how can a women not describe what a biological male who identifies as a women, I.e. a trans woman, has done to her using that terminology.

What is a woman precluded from saying by using the term "trans woman", that she is able to say by referring to a "trans identified male"?

I get the whole rhyphonol trope, but getting a mental image of a woman in your head (which is how most trans women present at least at first glance, so not exactly inaccurate) is not the same issue as, and doesn't prevent, a woman being unable to describe what has happened to her at the hands of a trans woman.

Ereshkigal · 18/06/2019 00:32

These threads have been the most openly transphobic I have ever seen. And I have never viewed FWR as transphobic until now. As others have said, this shark jumping has taken the scales from my eyes.

For all your hyperbolic pearl clutching, many women have felt like this for a while. And we're not changing being true to ourselves for you. Accuracy matters. The "inclusive" language of trans ideology has been a Trojan horse which has gradually allowed us to be stripped of our sex based rights. And we're allowed to be angry about that.

You keep posting these hand wringing screeds. But it isn't up to you what other women do, and you don't have all the answers.

And I for one think your way is wrong.

DecomposingComposers · 18/06/2019 00:33

SuePerbly

I completely agree with your post.

I've frequently asked those questions about trans men too and just shouted down.

It really is about more than safeguarding.

Ereshkigal · 18/06/2019 00:34

Give it up Sue. I am never going to refer to males as women. It matters to me. So don't concern yourself any further with what I do.

SuePerbly · 18/06/2019 00:39

Everyone is responsible for safeguarding" is pretty much safeguarding 101

Agreed. But not everyone has a statutory responsibility for safeguarding. How will those who have statutory responsibility, with major consequences if they fuck up, not know what these terms mean, when they are directly taught? They are the ones who, in practice, actually make the safeguarding decisions.

As all organisations that come into contact with kids and vulnerable adults have to have a safeguarding policy, how will those who safeguard not know?

The average person in the street has little knowledge of any of the terminology, so will hardly be cursing their inability to safeguard properly due to having inadequate terminology.

Ereshkigal · 18/06/2019 00:43

You dismissed the "pronouns are rohypnol" idea as a trope. It's not just a trope, it's the heart of the problem when it comes to safeguarding and risk assessment and management.

SuePerbly · 18/06/2019 00:47

Give it up Sue

No, I won't be silenced for having a different opinion to you. Who are you to tell another woman to "Give it up"?

This is a public forum and anyone can post. I know many posters on here have admitted that they don't want debate, but as you don't actually control FWR, you have no right to tell others to stop speaking. You don't have to engage. I truly don't give a shit, but it is my right to post what I want within the guidelines.

I am never going to refer to males as women. It matters to me. So don't concern yourself any further with what I do

I have NEVER been concerned with what you do. How arrogant of you. I am not attempting to persuade anyone. I am giving my thoughts on the OP.

It is so insightful to see the "we want the right to speak the truth as to the facts posts" juxtapostioned against your post telling another woman to "Give it up".

No hypocrisy there at all.........Grin

FlyingOink · 18/06/2019 00:48

I've really enjoyed this thread, especially having read through it in one go.
SuePerbly my personal opinions on your points:
A: disagree completely. As has been pointed out, using transwoman as a sop isn't enough anyway, as men are calling themselves female now. Woman is gone, -woman as a suffix is gone, female is gone. All co-opted by men. Some of those men are very very unhappy. Some of those men are dangerous predators. Apparently the former group is somehow my responsibility and the latter I have to pretend doesn't exist. I also have to pretend there is no overlap of those two groups.
B: Agreed, Mumsnet are a business and will make a decision on what language is permitted with a view to maintaining good relations with advertisers
C: You could have a conversation about safeguarding using the word rhubarb in place of any of the aforementioned terms if all the parties in the conversation knew what rhubarb meant in that context. You are appealing to authority in stating that professionals currently use a certain descriptor, but firstly this might change and secondly you can't know how legal precedents can force those professionals to change how they refer to groups of people. In short, rhubarb might be the mot du jour at the moment, and that might change completely in six months as attitudes and legal action changes the vocabulary. This obfuscates matters in a 1984 way, as older documents and previous discussions become toxic and unquotable due to the use of descriptors which are now deemed problematic. The main risk factor is being male. Males are a higher risk and reams of statistics are available to support this. So anything that makes it less clear that a male is being discussed makes safeguarding less robust and will make things easier for predators, whether that was the intention of the person/s who decided to change the language used or not. If we are dealing with an individual and the risk they might pose to others, the language used has to reflect reality, and the actual risk.
D: Sorry I have no idea what you are saying here
E: See C
F: Trans men have female bodies. Men are a risk to women. Other women (and trans men) are not a particular risk to women, there are a few statistical outliers but there is no practical way to assess for potential violent behaviour in women that is as effective or simple as excluding men from women's spaces is. Bearing in mind 98 or 99% of sexual violence is carried out by men, it would make sense to assume men are a risk and should be excluded. Many men are able to appreciate the logic in this and do not take it personally - those who complain about it generally have poor respect for other boundaries and fail to appreciate women's perspectives (MRAs for example. I'm not calling you a man.)
Saying women might feel fear if they saw a trans man in a public toilet or similar sex-segregated space) is a valid point, but it's not fear that segregation is designed to limit. It is actual risk. I'm a butch lesbian and I have inadvertently frightened women in public toilets, I've been asked if I'm in the right place, I've seen women walk out assuming they are in the wrong place (which is female socialisation all over really) and you know what I do? I leave my jacket outside the toilet or drape it over my arm. I make sure my enormous boobs are as obvious as they can be. I don't make eye contact. I get in and out of the loos quickly. I do everything I can to avoid women being startled by my appearance. (Again female socialisation!)
I use the women's toilets because I am a woman. I don't pose a threat because my hair is clippered short. I don't pose a threat because occasionally (and it's more rare now as people realise lesbians exist) a woman might do a double take when she sees me. It's not the same thing at all. It's not masculinity that is dangerous, it's men.
Finally on transmen: the majority I have met would use the gents toilets. They only put themselves at additional risk by choosing to use the opposite sex facilities.

SuePerbly · 18/06/2019 00:49

You keep posting these hand wringing screeds. But it isn't up to you what other women do, and you don't have all the answers

Ditto

And I for one think your way is wrong

Ditto

So? Doesn't mean I have to stop posting. Sorry if hearing dissent irks you.

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