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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

If you could chose sex from birth would you live as a man?

166 replies

habobobo · 05/06/2019 20:51

I realised almost every bad or difficult thing thats happened to me personally most likely wouldn't happen to a guy. So if could chose, I think I would probably chose to live life as a man. This makes me a bit sad.

How about you guys?

OP posts:
starzig · 05/06/2019 22:45

Install updates. I apologise if this was your experience but I was completely happy to wave goodbye to my reproductive abilities (even though so called helpful leaflets insisted I was going to feel less feminine). I still love being a girl and don't feel any less so.

ZebrasAreBras · 05/06/2019 22:46

I can't really imagine being anyone other than me tbh. I like being me.

I've had a few bad things happen to me because I am a woman, but I've never wanted to be a man. I have always wished for a better deal for women though.

dwatsuts · 05/06/2019 22:49

Why from birth? Why not from conception? For many girls it is their sex at conception that matters not birth as they don’t get that far.

Statistically, girls get further. Sex-selective abortions happen, but after childhood women outnumber men at every age, despite more boys being born.

dwatsuts · 05/06/2019 22:49

I can't really imagine being anyone other than me tbh. I like being me.

If you like being you, then you probably have a good deal. Countless people hate themselves, myself included.

starzig · 05/06/2019 22:55

I have had nothing bad happen to me as a result of being female
I have had the same opportunities, expectations, wages as male counterparts
I have never been looked down on or talked down to.

Some people just need to change company I think.

Caucho · 05/06/2019 23:02

You could flip the question for me but it’s still impossible to answer. How would I know what it’s like to be a woman or vice versa? I could try to embark on a theoretical debate in my head about one sex or another but the truth is I can’t because I’m a man. I can read and study and pretend to know what it’s like to be a woman but how would I know what is best without being one?

Hotterthanahotthing · 05/06/2019 23:17

I am 59 and being a man now would mean that chin hair was normal ,my weight now would be about right if I were a man and I would without much effort be attractive to the opposite sex.
Also my sloppy housework would magically seem fantastic for a man.
Wouldn't like to have been born one though.

Erythronium · 05/06/2019 23:20

No thank you, I love being a woman.

dwatsuts · 05/06/2019 23:20

and I would without much effort be attractive to the opposite sex.

What?

Imoen · 05/06/2019 23:49

I might buck the trend here.

I honestly have never thought of being a bloke however nor have I ever come across anything that has held me back the way some of you claim.

I earn more than most men in my field. My career is at least as good if not better than most men.

However, I’ve always liked most sport, computer games and cars. Genuinely from toddler age in the case of sport and cars. Much to my mothers disgust. I’ve also never wanted children and if I’m being honest, mothers at work annoy me as they always want preference on holidays, flexible hours and expect the rest of us to pick up the slack. Maybe that’s why I do t get it.

I’ve never had a problem putting my views across or standing up for myself.

I’m 5’3” and chubby but not particularly Amazonian.

I don’t recognise the world a lot of you complain about so I’d be happy being female. If they could kill my periods.

MrsMiggins37 · 05/06/2019 23:53

No.

I’m furious about male privilege and the fact I’d earn more if I had a penis but would I ever wish not to have grown my children in my body - no.

MrsMiggins37 · 05/06/2019 23:55

Bloody hell Imoen could you fit any more gender stereotypes in there?

Imoen · 05/06/2019 23:56

Just saying I’m quite happy being a woman and wouldn’t be a man.

Maybe I am gender male but I’m a happy female

colouringinpro · 05/06/2019 23:56

No way. Despite all the shit we have to deal with, women are by far the superior sex in so many ways.

BlackPrism · 06/06/2019 01:08

Fuck no. I like who I am. Part of that is being a woman.

Goosefoot · 06/06/2019 02:34

I don't think I'd choose to be a man, I like being a woman. I expect though if I was born a man I'd like that too.

IAmAlwaysLikeThis · 06/06/2019 02:59

Even though my life would be easier, I think men are mostly pretty boring so nah.

Number3or4 · 06/06/2019 03:09

I love being a woman. Yes, it has it negative part but for me without being a woman I would not have carried my children especially ds2 who was stillborn. I feel like I got to know him more than anyone else. It was a pleasure to having had the relationship I had with him. I feel privileged I was able to have carried him.

RiversDisguise · 06/06/2019 04:06

I love being a woman. XX chromosomes for me every lifetime, please.

isabellerossignol · 06/06/2019 04:15

Yes, definitely. Being pregnant and giving birth was hellish. My husband got to be a parent and have a close relationship with his children without sustaining permanent damage to his body or the psychological torment of PND.

I detest having boobs too - huge and uncomfortable and until the age of about 40 everyone seemed to feel free to comment on them and a significant number of men felt entitled to touch them. For the avoidance of that alone I would prefer to have been born male.

pallisers · 06/06/2019 04:29

No. I see the power men have in the world but I don't think that much of it. I also see the power women have, I have produced three other human beings from my own body. Dh needed me to do this so we could have our children. He couldn't doit.

Every human who has ever set foot on this earth has come out of a woman. The relative power positions are worth fighting for (I am an utter feminist) but let's face it - women are in ultimate control as no baby can be born without a woman (which is why men hate us so much imo)

Lamaha · 06/06/2019 07:47

I am not at all desirous of the advantages of males, and the power- and sex-obsession which many men demonstrate. I think the latter shows them up to be the inferior human beings, unable to find satisfaction simply in being who they are, in their own truth.
As for the advantages -- any disadvantages I have experienced as a woman have only been stepping stones to overcoming them and thus becoming stronger and wiser. I would not swap those qualities for all the power and orgasms in the world.

The sex-obsession in particular shows those men who indulge in it as being pretty primitive.

As for the physical advantages -- they don't come near to the wonder of being able to give birth.
I've not really experienced much oppression* as a woman; my mother was an early feminist, a trailblazer in my country. The worst was during the ages of 14 to about 24, when I was confused by aforementioned male sex obsession. Boys and men wanting my body constantly, even though I was not even particularly attractive. Boys and men being unable to actually be friends, appreciate me as a human being. This truly put me off.

Here's an analogy:

As a mixed-race, dark-skinned person I desperately wanted to be white for the longest time. I grew up in a country where we were the majority, whites sat on a pedestal above us; and in a time (50s and 60s) when it was totally accepted and openly acknowledged that we were inferior. It was self-evident. I felt it and suffered from it terribly. I "knew" that only white people were smart, beautiful, confident etc, and for a long time this sense of inferiority was the burden I carried.

I truly "identified" as white -- something in me rebelled against that sense of inferiority. But as we know, it is not possible to identify out of an oppressed class! It was as if I KNEW my inferiority was not true; that deep inside I was just as valuable and worthy as a white person and eventually I was able to shake off that sense of inferiority at the deepest possible level.

Now I'm glad I went through those struggles. A person born white can never know the insights I learned, just as a man can never truly understand the insights a woman gets just because of her biological sex, her limitations, her struggles, her ability to grow beyond those limitations. These are very valuable lessons. If you are inherently assured of your place in the world you simply cannot get it.

I'm sorry that so many women on this thread would choose to be male, because I believe that all the so-called advantages of being male are only superficial. Women are by far the superior sex -- we (most of us) just don't have the need to shout it out to the world and bully others into accepting a submissive position.

(Menstruation was a drag, but I was lucky in that mine was pain-free. And now I'm free of it -- hooray!)

Junowhat · 06/06/2019 07:53

Yes! No monthly hormonal fluctuationsculminating in a messy period.
Easy peeing when there are no public loos
Often more attractive as they get older rather than fading into invisibility (which I am actually embracing but some friends are not and I appreciate the unfairness of it)

I like being me so if I could change now I wouldn't (well maybe except for the Hilly hormones) but i think men have an easier time of it in general.

Pinkarsedfly · 06/06/2019 07:57

No.

I wouldn’t like the fighting, being called up to fight in wars, not feeling able to express my feelings, being part of the whole toxic masculinity thing. I wouldn’t have wanted to miss out on being pregnant and breastfeeding. The whole mothering thing is something I’d never have missed.

I like being a woman - it’s the patriarchy that creates the only downside. That needs to change - not me.

Outanabout · 06/06/2019 08:07

My earliest memory of 'a thought' was thinking that I felt sorry for men and was glad I wasn't going to be one. I couldn't see that they had a function, but that may have been because my mother was a SAHM so everything revolved around her. Men did seem a bit peripheral to life though, that they were doing things just to fill in the time because they were a bit surplus to requirements. I cringe a bit now when I think back, at how little I thought of men. And my dad was a lovely man, I don't even have the excuse that he wasn't.

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