The 12th law of misogny

[Mamello]

Wise women of FWR please help me. Part of my work is to help women access support for their perinatal mental health (in pregnancy and up to a year post birth). I have been told, in a time of phenomenally tight resources, we must now start providing additional support for fathers because whereas only 10-15% of perinatal mothers suffer from post natal depression, 20% of fathers do (according to MIND). I'm not saying fathers don't suffer PND but studies have shown that it is often linked to the mothers mental heath and there is nothing about severity or that women don't just suffer from PND but also anxiety, psychosis etc. In addition the figures for fathers are based on self-report whereas those for mothers are based on midwife or health visitor assessment.
This is an example of one father's blog:

I was fortunate enough to never actually need the help when I had postnatal depression.……Besides, It’s not like I’d have the option to go to a mother and baby unit. Had it been my wife who had suffered then maybe she would’ve ended up in one of those units

isablog.co.uk/2018/05/11/dads-nhs-perinatal-mental-health/

And in another article:

In the UK, for example, the tradition of health visiting is heavily focused on mothers and children, and some health visitors are reluctant to address postnatal depression in men. As a result, fathers end up feeling overlooked following the birth of a child and their experiences rendered invisible.

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/nhs-postnatal-depression-anxiety-mental-health-young-fathers-parent-support-a8668806.html

I want to keep fighting for better resources and support for women's mental health. Whilst there's good evidence that fathers do suffer post natal mental health problems I worry that this is just another reason to downgrade services for women and minimise their role in birthing and childbearing. I'd like to hear your take on this. Is this a feminist issue or AIBU?

Why do you think we warn women off engaging and wasting their time with them by referencing tissues?

Thank you. I’m happy for most of the trolls comments to stay, as you’re right it won’t make much sense otherwise.

Concur.

Why do you think we warn women off engaging and wasting their time with them by referencing tissues?

Now he's been banned and the forbidden troll hunting has been done by MNHQ itself, I can be clear, right?!

Once you know the signs, it's not difficult to spot a bloke who intrudes on women's conversations because he's looking for wank fodder. Every reply to such a bloke is his wank fodder. If you don't want him to wank - DON'T REPLY. If you see someone mention tissues: THIS IS WHY.

TMI for a Saturday morning, I know. Sorry. But it hurts my heart when women fall for it.

FloralBunting and TheInebriati I have repeatedly said that no resources should be diverted away from the treatment of women in order to treat men.

I haven't taken issue with any posts saying that depression in a new dad should be treated and taken seriously, just not at the expense of treatment of women with PND.

I have taken issue with the sneery comments about dads not really being depressed but just pissed off that their dinner isn't on the table, that they are not the priority or that they can't play football whenever they want.

Can you not see the difference?

It isn’t. Nobody here has said that never happens.

Really? So the posts saying that new dads aren't depressed but are sulking that their dinner isn't on the table or that they can't play 5 a side football whenever they want are figments of my imagination then are they?

I can see that you very much want us to talk about men's problems.

You can take issue with what you want, but the fact is that in amongst the cases where men do have actual MH issues when their children are small, there are men who are unreasonably focused on their own selves when a baby is born, and drawing a distinction between the two situations is significant if you're going to insist that we talk about men's problems.

But as I don't want to talk about men, I'll leave that there, cheers.

Most of the posts ive seen referring to mens depression seem to say MOST or SOME

Happy to be shown differently if i ive missed them

I can see that you very much want us to talk about men's problems.

Nope, not at all. I just think that if one or both parents are having mental health issues then that will impact on the other partner and the family unit. To me, rapid and suitable treatment benefits all members of the family unit.

You can take issue with what you want, but the fact is that in amongst the cases where men do have actual MH issues when their children are small, there are men who are unreasonably focused on their own selves when a baby is born,

But why are we even discussing men who are being selfish twonks in the same sentence as men who are having mental health issues?

I don't think anyone suffering from depression needs to be likened or compared with selfish, thoughtless people.

You can take issue with what you want, but the fact is that in amongst the cases where men do have actual MH issues when their children are small, therearemen who are unreasonably focused on their own selves when a baby is born, and drawing a distinction between the two situations is significant if you're going to insist that we talk about men's problems
This. ^^

Make mental health IS important. It doesn't mean funds from WOMEN'S healthcare for postnatal depression and other birth related mental health shouls be redirected to men. Men don't give birth. They dont have the hormonal changes of pregnancy and birth. Their depression is not postnatal depression and should not come out of th postnatal budget.

Yes, I think we have all clearly established that men pick pocketing resources from women's budgets is out of line. Not sure why some posters think we should still be wheeling back round to discuss why all the women n the thread aren't being sufficiently compassionate about men, but I'm going out to enjoy the sun.

Not sure why some posters think we should still be wheeling back round to discuss why all the women n the thread aren't being sufficiently compassionate about men, but I'm going out to enjoy the sun.

I'll join you.

Once more, for the hard of hearing:

I am not interested in discussing the woes of men on this, a feminist board. Take it elsewhere.

Not sure why some posters think we should still be wheeling back round to discuss why all the women n the thread aren't being sufficiently compassionate about men,

I don't want anyone to be wheeling around. I can see the sense in policies that seek to recognise that the mental health of men can adversely affect the family unit, and to try to address that. Where the policy in the OP has fallen down, imo, is in not funding it in addition to the provision currently in place for women with PND.

My big problem is in the posters who are trying to dismiss experience of situational depression because that can affect anyone, men and women.

I am uncomfortable with reading posts that say any symptoms not caused by a certain physical process is a sign of an over inflated ego or selfishness because in effect you are saying that anyone not suffering from PND has no justifiable reason for being depressed.

Its boring when the vast vast majority of posters have caveated their comments with

Not all men

Just a general observation...no need for anyone to comment

I still think we need a symbol such as a maths symbol to indicate men-as-a-class, for the benefit of the posters who are not up on feminist theory and take it personally.
Unfortunately the maths symbol for class is the square brackets.

[men]

That didn't appear as a hyperlink, did I type it wrong?

I think its two [ at either end

men

Fucking hell i did it

Steady, you want to describe them not invoke them

Fair point