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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Paying for swimming lessons in a block/ periods

498 replies

Aquifolium · 07/05/2019 22:25

Hi,

My daughter’s have attended swimming lessons at the local pool for many years. Their attendance has always been spot on. Now they have started their periods they are missing one or 2 sessions a month.
I have contacted the manager to ask if there has been any thought out into this phenomenon, and the reply is of course, they can use tampons, which are perfectly safe.

I wasn’t addressing this issue in a ‘what are you going to do about it’ kind of way, but the dismissive response I have had from the manager has pissed me off.
I feel that my daughters are at a disadvantage now, and that I am paying out for lessons (block booking only)they can’t take up.
Has anyone else done anything about this issue before? Got anywhere?
TIA

OP posts:
JessicaWakefieldSV · 08/05/2019 07:33

I’m quite shocked at the ‘just use tampons’ brigade here too. They’re children for gods sake. Many girls take a long time to get to grips with their periods and use tampons. The just get on with it crap is not something I expect on a feminism board. Women have been told that for years.

OP yes, it’s frustrating. The way stuff like this works has been set up without thought for female biology and is so standard now that it would be hard to get any swimming organisation to do it differently. Ovahere mentioned a system which I think sounds brilliant and far more flexible. In the meantime, if they’re fairly competent swimmers already, I would stop the lessons altogether. No sense paying for something you can’t use. You could compare prices to a single monthly private session with your girls and one coach, I used to do that. They’d learn a lot in that single session as opposed to a group lesson.

spreadingchestnuttree · 08/05/2019 07:40

The only reason posters are suggesting using a tampon is that they solve the problem! No reason at all young girls can't use them when they first start their periods. If they don't get on with them then fair enough, but if they choose not to try then they can't really complain about missed swimming lessons imo.

JessicaWakefieldSV · 08/05/2019 07:48

No reason at all young girls can't use them when they first start their periods.

Yes there is. My friends 16 year old daughter got toxic shock syndrome from tampons, using as directed and only for a few hours. A lot of adults don’t use them for that and other reasons.

spreadingchestnuttree · 08/05/2019 07:56

Ok but TSS is extremely rare.

DecomposingComposers · 08/05/2019 07:57

Toxic shock syndrome is very rare though. Making girls miss out on activities every month also has an impact. I guess the OPs dds have to weigh up the pros and cons and then decide what they want to do.

No commercial enterprise is going to lose 25% of their income every month are they in order to accommodate a girl having her period.

iVampire · 08/05/2019 07:57

‘If my children were boys, they wouldn’t be missing half their lessons’

If their periods are lasting 2 weeks, then I think a trip to the GP is in order.

Serious swimmers would be using tampons, because they really want to be swimming. Popping a tampon in for an couple of hours to cover a swimming session isn’t going to cause the slightest harm and is entirely appropriate

Mombie · 08/05/2019 07:58

I could never use a tampon at this age or much later. I just hate the thought of feeling as though I had to do it ( even now) just so I can carry on with something that I want to do.

ILuvBirdsEye · 08/05/2019 08:00

If girls problems were centred in the thinking and planning, you would have a few options
E.g. (1) be able to pick and book lessons one by one - so when you pay for a block of 10 you get 10 lessons but not necessarily consecutive. Some weeks you may want to go but not be able to as it's booked up.
(2) get vouchers for missed lessons you spend on something else e.g. a gym session
This is just me spending 5 minutes of thought. I am sure a group of people trying to find solutions could find others too.

In reality, people will just go "letum wear tampons" and you will have to suck it up.

With 2 girls missing 30-50% lessons, it may actually be worth going private and hiring a 2-1 swimming instructor.

stucknoue · 08/05/2019 08:02

You pay for a slot so if you don't use it you still have to pay. My DD's didn't do lessons at that age because they could already swim, maybe consider if they need formal lessons now.

JessicaWakefieldSV · 08/05/2019 08:02

Popping a tampon in for an couple of hours to cover a swimming session isn’t going to cause the slightest harm

While rare, TSS can happen within a short space of time. Not many people realise that and I think it’s important to know. For grown women, it’s as easy as ‘pop in a tampon’, not all young girls feel like that.

JessicaWakefieldSV · 08/05/2019 08:03

With 2 girls missing 30-50% lessons, it may actually be worth going private and hiring a 2-1 swimming instructor.

That’s what I think.

ILuvBirdsEye · 08/05/2019 08:03

No commercial enterprise is going to lose 25% of their income every month are they in order to accommodate a girl having her period.

Keep thinkung like this and they end up missing the full 100%

Danglingmod · 08/05/2019 08:04

I don't think this is a feminist issue at all; I mean boys and girls could be missing lessons due to regular ill health (asthma or something) and you wouldn't expect to not pay and still keep their place.

I don't think tampons are the answer necessarily for very young girls. I think the problem is them still needing swimming lessons at the age they start their periods (and girls are starting earlier and earlier) because usually a child would be a very competent swimmer by age 10/11 (1km badge etc) and so stop lessons.

PegLegAntoine · 08/05/2019 08:06

I tried using tampons in the early days but found it incredibly painful. It was only possible for me once I’d lost my virginity Blush

1Wanda1 · 08/05/2019 08:07

When I was 12 I lived in a hot country and swam - by choice - every day. When I started my periods, although I didn't like the idea of tampons at first, I had to use them as otherwise wouldn't have been able to swim. So that's what I did.

How exactly do you think the pricing structure of these swimming lessons should be changed to accommodate your daughters' periods? Obviously they can't just let people skip lessons whenever they like for whatever reason, and no one can be asked prove whether they are having a period or not for this purpose. Even if they could, allowing girls not to pay for missed lessons, but not boys, would be sexual discrimination, surely? So therefore the only solution that can accommodate your period problem is simply to run a "pay per lesson" system. Then the teacher would have no way of knowing each week how many people they would have, therefore no way of forward planning for numbers and no way of knowing what her or his income would be each week. As PPs have said: it is ridiculous to expect the teacher to run lessons that way for your convenience. They are running a business!

Just get your daughters to use tampons, or accept that you're going to pay for lessons they don't use.

DecomposingComposers · 08/05/2019 08:09

(1) be able to pick and book lessons one by one - so when you pay for a block of 10 you get 10 lessons but not necessarily consecutive. Some weeks you may want to go but not be able to as it's booked up.

Is that viable for the people running the sessions though? They need to be paid for their time so using this method they need extra slots available to accommodate everyone but risk under earning in all of the slots. Ime they book these classes to capacity so that they are paid for their time.

The only answer is to find somewhere where you pay as you go.

DecomposingComposers · 08/05/2019 08:13

Keep thinkung like this and they end up missing the full 100%

Who? The swim school or the girls?

If the swim school well they will just sell the lessons to pupils who either go all the time or accept that they lose their money for sessions that they can't attend. Either way the school gets 100% of the fees rather than 75%

If you meant the girls why do they miss out on 100%? They carry on doing what they are doing now - 75% attendance and accept that if they choose not to go during their period that they lose the money for that session.

No one is saying that they can't go at all just that some choices have to be made.

codenameduchess · 08/05/2019 08:16

I can't believe what I've just read, op get a grip! Girls have been having periods for a long time, your DDs aren't the first to have periods and swimming lessons. There are solutions that you are unwilling to try and that is your problem not the swimming lesson providers. If you don't want to pay for the blocks stop the lessons or pay for 1:1/ 2:1 but be prepared for that option to want blocks too- it's their job and they can't take a financial hit for no reason.

Demanding girls get preferential treatment over boys is not equality, it's discrimination.

cookiechomper · 08/05/2019 08:16

I wouldn't make them use tampons either. And even if they did, many women wouldn't choose to swim during a period anyway. However from the business' point of view, they will see it as they have a choice to use tampons and continue lessons. I think the only way round it is to pay for the lessons you don't use.

LetsSplashMummy · 08/05/2019 08:25

I think there is a market for classes that run every two weeks, mainly to accommodate children who have to go to a NRP every other weekend. If you are thinking of positive suggestions you could make to swimming providers, I'd broaden it past periods to something like this.

Otherwise it's leak proof swimwear or club swimming with drop in sessions. My DD is about to start triathlon club, and could choose to go to the bike/run session in place of swimming. She's too young to have dealt with periods yet, but there are teenage girls there who have this option. There are also intensive week long swim courses offered during most holidays in a lot of places. They could maybe do that instead of formal weekly lessons.

JessicaWakefieldSV · 08/05/2019 08:25

Demanding girls get preferential treatment over boys is not equality, it's discrimination

What the fuck did I just read? Nobody is demanding, it’s a discussion on the feminist board about how our biology can disadvantage us. You’ve got a shit attitude, this isn’t AIBU.

JessicaWakefieldSV · 08/05/2019 08:27

Just get your daughters to use tampons

I can’t believe the people that keep saying this!

Rufusthebewilderedreindeer · 08/05/2019 08:30

aqu

I always skipped the gym the first few days of a period but obviously it was a monthly fee and i coukd drop in when i wanted so i just needed to juggle the days

But i do think its a good point to raise

WeepingWillowWeepingWino · 08/05/2019 08:32

You don't seriously believe that the patriarchy got together and decided to charge for swimming lessons in blocks as some sort of period tax.

no, I think that the lessons were set up like this without giving a single second's thought to girls and periods.

I think some people think they're on AIBU, this is the FWR board so I'd expect a rather more intelligent take with a good look at how women's biology is so often not taken into account.

spreadingchestnuttree · 08/05/2019 08:33

I think the problem is them still needing swimming lessons at the age they start their periods (and girls are starting earlier and earlier) because usually a child would be a very competent swimmer by age 10/11 (1km badge etc) and so stop lessons.

Seriously?! Three of my daughters' friends swim for clubs with regular galas and competitions. Swimming is not necessarily just for safety or to reach a "competent" level.