Hi, I’m tempted to leave this thread alone, as I had no idea it would run to so many pages.
I have read through them now though and just wanted to reply to a few things.
What does the OP do if they are on holiday while her dds are on their periods? Are they not able to go swimming on holiday either? That is quite restrictive. Is that a feminist issue too? Because there isn't a financial work around is there in that instance?
I’m not sure about holidays to be honest. It hasn’t come up yet. We will camp this year. Camping with periods can be a bit more difficult but not going to stop them being able to join in.
I'm always amazed that there are so many people who just can't seem to grasp that we're all so different and what works for one won't necessarily work for another.
This. It amazes me every time on mumsnet. I think there are a few people on this thread who have lived experience of problems using tampons. They are more likely to view my OP as an issue. There are a lot of people who had no difficulty using tampons from age 10, and therefore it is a non-issue. The lack of insight into other people’s lives lead to a level of discussion that is not useful.
The problem is a problem caused by female biology. It has no external factors.
The external factor is the inflexible payment system.
What if we cancelled but then next week it was another girls turn to be on her period?
‘Taking turns’ makes it sound like periods are something which we organise for ourselves as a convenient excuse. That is not the case with my girls.
bit of a non issue, how many teenagers are going to structured swim classes? If they can swim can you not just go
ad hoc like most teenagers? What type of lesson are they even going to at that ability?
This one is more or less answered here
When I take DD to the public swim, I see a lot of teenage girls messing about in the shallow end, very few getting out of their depth.
My girls mess about if I take them to the pool. I am busy with my 3 yr old, and they swim a bit and then play around. This is fine, but it does not help them get regular exercise. Swimming lengths under the direction of a coach means they are reminded to do their less favourite strokes too. The benefits are great as they are both asthmatic, and the rhythmic breathing really helps. They enjoy swimming against their friends too, but are not interested in club swimming... the local clubs are quite strict about attendance and they have other activities they do which would clash. They don’t want to swim competitively.
I’m not really sure why I am justifying the face that they go swimming anyhow. More of the ‘teenagers don’t do swimming lessons here so why do the op’s daughters need to’ race to the bottom mentality.
there are still far too many women buying into and perpetuating the idea of period shame.
I agree, but assuming that everyone can just feel comfortable about menstruating from the get go does not allow a culture of periods being ok. It suggests a binary; be comfortable and confident or be a wuss. My girls are just getting used to it. I hope they will start to feel completely confident about it in the coming months, but the fact is that girls should be allowed a phase of adjustment.
A friend of mine believed that period pain was largely a matter of suggestion; she looked down on her teen friends who sat on the sofa with a hotty, and blamed their mothers for setting them up to have a hard time, and allowing it. she was off doing sport and having a great time. Until she herself experienced pms later in life. Her attitude changed then, when she realised she had no control over her experience.
She did tell me that a lot of the girls attendance reduced when they started their periods. Her solution was to offer a once a month ‘catch up’ session.
Great idea, which could be taken up by people who were ill too.
Can't they stop swimming lessons now/ for a while? They could still go swimming whenever they like and a lot of places do intensive school holiday swim courses.
In the end it comes down to what red toothbrush is talking about. If they quit, they will be back on the waiting list. THank you for your insight Red, I think you are right, that the idea of flexibility will be rejected on the basis of cost. Flexibility would improve things for girls and people with heath problems (there is a girl who attends infrequently due to her eczema for example). But it can’t be considered due to austerity. Another way austerity impacts more on girls and ill people. An impact which will not be seriously considered by the powers that be. If posters on FWR can’t see it’s a problem, will the council employees?
Didn't know they even did swimming lessons at that age lol. I thought lessons were for preschoolers.
Laugh out loud at my girls taking regular exercise if you like.
You couldn’t just turn up for a extra class to make up the one you lost because it would be a logistical nightmare.
Lots of logistical problems are worked around where there is a will. School timetabling anyone?
Perhaps you'd like to engage with the issues outside of individualist capitalist no-can-dos? thank you Lang
Girls need to fit in around a world not made for them, where male default and cash is king are the rules.
suggest periods are normal, and you know are something you are going to have to cope with for many years, is being vehemently shouted down. What is wrong with being comfortable with one's body?
As above, can girls be allowed some breathing space where they have time to get comfortable with their bodies?
As I have said before, I think one will quit, and one will continue for the time being. I will discuss with them if they want me to suggest the flexibility idea. I will definitely be buying the swim pants for £30+ pp. because I can afford to, just like I can afford the lessons at all. I am in a fortunate position that I can, and I think if my priorities were different, or money was a bit tighter, there’s no way they would continue swimming whilst missing out on so many lessons.
I liked Charley’s eloquent post, and appreciated willow, Jessica, Lang and others arguing my point with different insights.
And Connieston, it was nice of you to say that the debate changed your opinion. It made it feel worth having to read through all the ‘just crack on’ posts.