Paying for swimming lessons in a block/ periods

[Aquifolium]

Hi,

My daughter’s have attended swimming lessons at the local pool for many years. Their attendance has always been spot on. Now they have started their periods they are missing one or 2 sessions a month.
I have contacted the manager to ask if there has been any thought out into this phenomenon, and the reply is of course, they can use tampons, which are perfectly safe.

I wasn’t addressing this issue in a ‘what are you going to do about it’ kind of way, but the dismissive response I have had from the manager has pissed me off.
I feel that my daughters are at a disadvantage now, and that I am paying out for lessons (block booking only)they can’t take up.
Has anyone else done anything about this issue before? Got anywhere?
TIA

If the solution is potentially harmful to the child then I don't see it as a good solution.

These are the only 2 things I can think of that girls can do to stop periods. Maybe there are more, I'd have thought if there were, women and girls would all be doing it!

I think probably children who are in clubs etc that you have to pay, prob girls drop off a lot around puberty as PP said with ballet, as many parents won't want to pay as dds miss 1 or 2 in 4, and so that's the end of that.

Could be any age from 9 onwards.

People saying oh well I used tampons from day 1. Good for you. Not sure what that adds though, how does it help the girls who don't want to of have pain or whatever? It doesn't, apart from implying that they are in the wrong and missing out by choice.

Which is back to, shove the thing up your cunt, sorry vagina, or have your activity canceled. Which is not great.

And solutions have been offered - buying 8 classes that can be used over 12 weeks, for example

It wouldn’t work. Where are you going to get the extra spaces. Busy pools often max their class size. Where are these four extra sessions supposed to appear from

Indeed. And I like fact posters making that suggestion seem blissfully unaware that coaches need to earn a living.

Agree with PP lots of sensible suggestions have been offered and yet it keeps coming back to, girls who don't want to use tampons are, not sure what's being implied. Silly, maybe. Fussy. Weak? Foolish? Precious?

Definitely some flavour of that going on and I find it v distasteful.

Which is back to, shove the thing up your cunt, sorry vagina, or have your activity canceled. Which is not great

So you have said for the umpteenth time. I know this is flogging a dead horse but you haven't come up with a single, practical alternative. Period pants have been mentioned- are they also unacceptable?

Girls need to fit in around a world not made for them, where male default and cash is king are the rules.

On FWR it used to be usual to talk about the what ifs, not any more apparently.

Which doesn't even make sense. Loads of sports related orgs have increased female participation high on agenda, so they are trying to understand barriers. Menstruation is clearly one. Are they allowed to say that and think about it? Or is it just MN women who aren't.

Lass and you haven't expanded on the ways that girls can stop periods.

I can only think of 2, pill and low weight.

I don't think either of these are acceptable.

I can't think of any other ways of stopping periods.

Oh, pregnancy, lol yeah that's not a great idea either!

Agree with PP lots of sensible suggestions have been offered and yet it keeps coming back to, girls who don't want to use tampons are, not sure what's being implied. Silly, maybe. Fussy. Weak? Foolish? Precious?

Has anyone said that? I certainly haven't.

So many people seem unable to understand that their experience isn’t universal. Sure, lots of girls are able to use tampons easily, but that definitely isn’t the case for everyone, and just because that isn’t your experience that doesn’t mean it’s “nonsense” or because they need to just get on with it and learn to be comfortable with their bodies. I very much wanted to use tampons as a teenager as I did sports, but I had a septate hymen which meant a trip to the hospital when the first one I tried went in but wouldn’t come out. I wasn’t able to use them until after I broke it (painfully) during sex.

Lass and you haven't expanded on the ways that girls can stop periods

Sigh, literally sigh. Periods can be stopped by using the pill. I said that wasn't for young women.

Menstruation is clearly one. Are they allowed to say that and think about it? Or is it just MN women who aren't

But in your case you aren't saying anything other than OMG, evil, nasty don't use that, don't even suggest it.

I mentioned earlier about too many women still promoting the idea of period shame. Frankly I think you are one of them. You can shout "cunt" as much as you like to show oh how rad fem you are but you love the idea that periods are this terrible, awful thing that all women suffer.

Sure, lots of girls are able to use tampons easily, but that definitely isn’t the case for everyone, and just because that isn’t your experience that doesn’t mean it’s “nonsense” or because they need to just get on with it and learn to be comfortable with their bodies

I'm not sure any one has said that.

I am however seeing other extreme , that even daring to suggest periods are normal, and you know are something you are going to have to cope with for many years, is being vehemently shouted down. What is wrong with being comfortable with one's body?

The pill.

That's your answer.

On a thread about schoolgirls/first periods etc.

If you are saying that it's not good for young women, then what on earth is the point of flagging it as a solution on this thread?

You said

'What utter nonsense. The problem is a problem caused by female biology. It has no external factors. All the other things you mention could in theory be solved by altering behaviour.

Periods can be stopped by altering behaviour but you've gone off on a rant about how that isn't acceptable (and it isn't for young girls).'

So your solution is the pill, but also it isn't.

Gotcha.

I mean you just casually say, periods can be stopped by altering behaviour as if this is both obvious and easy.

If stopping periods was obvious and easy we'd all be at it.

I think probably children who are in clubs etc that you have to pay, prob girls drop off a lot around puberty

Both sexes dramatically drop off at puberty - because this is where the hard work kicks in if you want to compete. It isnt just girls. Most kids finish their levels by 9/10 and go on to further training if they want.

Which is back to, shove the thing up your cunt, sorry vagina, or have your activity canceled. Which is not great

I think you get a kick out of saying that tbh

There really isn’t this epidemic of girls leaving swimming because of periods - sorry menu but their isn’t.

Have you got some stats on that?

Certainly girls participation drops off across the board, to the point there are various initiatives. Due to a variety of factors, body changes/ menstruation being one.

If you are going to say this is definitely not happening, then it's great news, but given its not what's reported by the sports bodies etc, it would be good to see some figures.

I mean with sport in general it drops off. In the news /reports etc.

If swimming bucks that trend, it's really important info.

It's so weird to me that people are going on about everyone being able to use a tampon and that kids should be done swimming lessons at 12 or so.

Lots of kids are serious about swimming (or dance) at that age and are in advanced lessons or on a team. The pressure is actually worse than just for regular lessons, they are expected to be there every week or they are dropped. Girls who aren't immediately able to deal with a tampon generally just give up the activity.

And it's just not true that tampons are always easy. Some girls do not have a hole in the hymen that makes them easy to deal with. Some have heavy periods and they don't work on heavy days. Some are quite young when they start and need extra support to manage their periods and they can't deal with a tampon on their own yet. Some just take time before they can make a tampon work reliably.

For a lot of these girls these problems will be solved by the time they are 18 and 19 because they are older, bigger, and more experienced, and their systems will have settled down and will be more regular. If they haven't then they may find they may have to make some choices about their activities, but it seems silly to push that back to 10 or even 15 years old.

Have you got some stats on that

I taught swimming and coached for over a decade across and entire borough with six sites in it. I’d have noticed if swaths of girls were leaving because of their periods

Yes there will always be some one who stops swimming because they have a period but they would be in the minority. If they wanted to compete or be in a club they would find away around it. Otherwise they would drop to daily swims and get a membership and swim As often as they liked.

There are a whole host of reasons why girls participation may have dropped

Lack of access to sports facilities
Lack of money
Lack of safe transportation
Lack of sports in secondary school
Lack of support through peers —— this one is massive.

It’s ridiculous your pinning it all on girls having periods

I think you get a kick out of saying that tbh

Ain't that the truth.

With regard to the business issue:

I think sometimes it is the case that there isn't really a good solution. Some of the ideas about more flexible class arrangements can be great, but they also have limits. One is just how many people does this affect. It's a lot more difficult to offer that kind of arrangement when not many people need it, and it may not affect that many girls wanting lessons, and it may be in a place with a small population wanting classes, it just isn't viable. Maybe you could give more public funding to swimming lessons, but then what are you not spending money on?

There are a lot of considerations to balance for the community with this kind of thing. And there are times when the best thing might be for the individual to say, you know, maybe this term I won't take lessons, I will just swim in open swims, and I'll see about trying tampons or whatever and come back to it later when I'm ready. Sometimes our biology does create a limit in our lives, and that's not a bad thing, it just is. It's probably not a bad thing to get acquainted with a little bit before we get old and decrepit.

It's good to look for solutions, for the community to look for solutions, and it's good to be content when they aren't quite what we'd prefer.

Goosefoot

Wrt swimming lessons - for some of us it is unusual for girls of 12 and 14 to be having lessons. Ime, my children had graduated traditional lessons by age 10 and had moved into club swimming. They still did training but the fees were different. We paid a yearly membership fee and then you paid for each session. That was more flexible and works well for issues like this so it was not a problem in our club. But this depends on competency I guess.

Teens here take lessons if they are wanting to go on to certain higher qualifications, or do specialist things like synchronised swimming, diving, and so on. But most that really like to swim join a team, and they are expected to come every week.

And I like fact posters making that suggestion seem blissfully unaware that coaches need to earn a living.

Blissfully unaware, you say? Interesting. I made that suggestion. I also wrote a post specifically engaging with insecure, pay-by-subscription employment, which is a separate issue relevant to feminism when women are over-represented in a profession.

I also made another salient point: sports participation in the young is a public health issue, as the great and the good keep telling us. We have the data to tell us that participation by girls falls off a cliff at the age of menarche. This is another feminist issue: why aren't public health monies being directed to areas where girls are disadvantaged and to encourage them into sport? Public health monies are intended to spend a penny in the short term to save a pound in the long term - so this is not a matter of increased taxes.

Perhaps you'd like to engage with the issues outside of individualist capitalist no-can-dos?

Sport is too expensive for many people, not just girls.

If public health genuinely cared about raising health and fitness levels then access to sport should be free or greatly subsidised for all - females and males, children and adults.

Our local authority sports centres charge £40 an adult (over 15 years) or £75 per couple per month. That is not accessible for most people and isn't a private gym but the local council centre.

I think we are at the making up bollocks which no one has said stage

Which i find both boring and infuriating...which is an interesting mix of emotions