Paying for swimming lessons in a block/ periods

[Aquifolium]

Hi,

My daughter’s have attended swimming lessons at the local pool for many years. Their attendance has always been spot on. Now they have started their periods they are missing one or 2 sessions a month.
I have contacted the manager to ask if there has been any thought out into this phenomenon, and the reply is of course, they can use tampons, which are perfectly safe.

I wasn’t addressing this issue in a ‘what are you going to do about it’ kind of way, but the dismissive response I have had from the manager has pissed me off.
I feel that my daughters are at a disadvantage now, and that I am paying out for lessons (block booking only)they can’t take up.
Has anyone else done anything about this issue before? Got anywhere?
TIA

"They would have to at least do it for everyone covered by the EA and it must be easier to suspend your membership than to allow you to chop and change within that membership. So I dare say you are suspending a month at a time. Would they allow you one week on, 2 weeks off, 2 weeks on, 1 week off? They wouldn't would they"

Decomposing Yes they do let me suspend weeks at a time actually. I'm also booked into classes which they don't complain if I can't attend. I actually find the tone of your post to me fairly patronising and rude tbh. Luckily my gym have a nicer attitude.

"Sometimes you do just have to accept that you are going to be hard done by.. We can't all be compensated for everything. "

I'm not asking for compensation for anything I'm asking for reasonable adjustments. I also have a physical disability so am very used to asking for access/adjustments, and in your tube example I would have asked TfL what their alternative provisions were. What about disabled people who could not afford a taxi? I don't like disabled people (or women) being advised to "just deal with it and crack on" in 2019.

But I think we are getting off track (I'm partly responsible I know as I mentioned it upthread).

I stand by my opinion that it isn't unreasonable to request and expect a certain degree of flexibility from companies. It can be good business practice and a selling point (especially if it applies to 50% of the target market!). In certain circumstances we expect (differential not special or preferential) treatment to allow access to services and biological sex justifies this. I think in this circumstance it is justifiable and my example shows it can be done, with a bit of willing.

Decomposing I don't know what % of girls we're talking about. I would guess, for younger girls especially, a good number won't want to use tampons, won't be on the pill and so will sit out - and miss out. Apparently they're choosing to do that.

But we are talking about 0% of boys being affected by their male biology with regards to swimming. So whatever the %, it's more than boys. By a country mile.

I refer to you to charley's excellent post upthread and this taken from it: No equitable solution will require young girls to insert a foreign object into their body when this is not what they wish or to medicalise them unnecessarily.

WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles

I apologise if you found me offensive. I was merely going by my own gym. They will suspend a single person membership for a month at a time, not weeks. We have a couples membership and so they won't suspend my portion of it. We also have to give 4 hours cancellation notice which they won't waiver for me.

As regards TFL - do you not think I didn't ask what my options were? I got told well walk to such and such station or get 2 buses (with a walk to the bus stop). They saw me stood in front of them and my physical condition. There was no offer of paying for a taxi for me.

I have it again this weekend. I have to go in for a day case procedure. The tube is suspended. No parking at the hospital and the mainline stations are too far either end for me so again I will have to pay for cabs. I can't afford it. I am currently on sick leave and receiving only SSP but that is the reality of having a disability in 2019. And I didn't advise anyone else to "crack on" - only myself. And that's what I'll continue to do because being stubborn is the only thing keeping me going right now.

And the OPs problem doesn't affect 50% of the target market. It will affect a proportion of post pubescant girls. Quite what the % of their market that is who knows?

Certainly when my kids had lessons no one was there after age 10. By that age they graduated to the club where there was mire flexibility so maybe this only affects a very small number of girls.

maybe this only affects a very small number of girls

and no boys.

WeepingWillowWeepingWino

But the number of girls might be tiny. As I said in my last post, lessons stopped at our club at age 10. At that point they joined the club proper.

I wonder how many girls of 10 and up are having lessons at the OPs pool? And out of that total some girls will be happily using tampons (as my dd did age 9). So yes, the % will be greater than 0% but it could be a tiny % of the total number of girls.

And again, what do they do on holiday? Are they left sitting poolside while the rest of the family go swimming? This is an issue not just about lost money due to cancelled lessons but also about sitting out of life isn't it?

WeepingWillowWeepingWino

Yes and no boys.

Apart from the boys with disabilities or chronic health problems who currently are also being disadvantaged by this policy.

but not all boys have disabilities or chronic health problems. All girls have periods, and provision should be made for girls who do not, as charley put it, wish to insert a foreign object into their vagina or be unnecessarily medicalised.

After all, if it's not that many girls as you seem certain of (FWIW I certainly wasn't using tampons as a young teen), it's hardly going to affect the finances of the club, is it?

But not all girls have this issue with periods and swimming do they?

And not all girls who have swimming lessons are even having periods yet.

So it isn't correct to say that this affects all girls. Because it doesn't.

Some girls will prefer to use tampons, irrespective of whether they go swimming or not. Others will happily use them only whilst they are swimming. How are they being affected by this policy?

WeepingWillowWeepingWino

I have no idea how many girls or whether it would affect finances or not because it is not something I have encountered (12 and 14 year olds having swimming lessons).

Maybe there are lots in the OPs situation.

The thing is that the pool can't only make adjustments for girls on their periods. They will also have to extend that to other groups covered by the EA ie people with a disability. So that possibly will affect finances.

Sorry decomposing I was a bit arsey there myself. Your gym sound a bit unhelpful, is there are any other good local ones? Or any pay as you go ones? We have lots of them here but no pools with them.

(Slight derail) TfL also sound a lot unhelpful. If you were on your feet (even struggling or with crutches) they just don't think you need assistance, IME. I find people only offer proper, or better assistance if they see my wheelchair. I use a combination and it's just my experience but its also the same with blue badges, the general public see someone not in a chair, and judge...and don't get me started on having to book disability assistance in advance - disabled people clearly aren't allowed to leave their house on a whim

Hospital trips are shit. I don't know if this applies to you (or you've already looked) but are you eligible for help with costs? I only know about this as someone at the hospital told me (obviously I'm not allowed a driving licence, it fucking sucks)

www.nhs.uk/using-the-nhs/help-with-health-costs/healthcare-travel-costs-scheme-htcs/

Sorry I'll stop derailing now!

Girls these days are just so fussy over what gets stuck up their vaginas, aren't they.

I blame feminism.

I started using tampons at 11 when I started my periods because I wanted to continue swimming lessons and ballet. That was my choice. Of course it's a personal choice but I think for me getting to know my body at such a young age was a positive thing. Light tampons are very small and totally suitable for most young teens with practice.

WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles

You've hit the nail on the head - I need a pool so it narrows my choices to 1 unfortunately.

And yes, I'm on my feet (barely at the moment. Like literally 10 steps is my limit). People have no idea about disability and like you say, if they don't see a wheelchair then you can't be disabled.

I'll have a look at that link, thank you. It's a nightmare at the moment. Each journey is a £50 fare each way in a cab.

Agree this is feminist issue.
Dismayed whataboutery, girls should shut the fuck up and get on with it, should be using tampons from age 9, if they don't then it's their own fault and no sympathy, Capitalism is be all and end all etc etc

It is well known that girls participation in sports drops right off around puberty. What with white uniforms for loads of them, enforced tampon use or give it up for others, and the pressure to look groomed all the time, and the nasty comments that lots of girls get when they do participate, it's not really surprising.

MenuPlant

What's your solution then?

And girls who are given tampons and do not get on with them should give up ballet and swimming, presumably along with other activities.

Most girls do not take to them straight away, some never do.

To have girls sport participation hinge on their willingness to stuff something up their cunt iudicrous.

But what is your solution?

girls who are given tampons and do not get on with them should give up ballet and swimming, presumably

I don't understand who you're angry at here? A period is not in the girls control, neither is the nature of the sport.

It's a bodily function that sometimes gets in the way of things. If I need the loo at the cinema should I ask them to pause the film for me? Yes periods only affect girls and there are solutions to help. I don't understand what you think should be done? You're talking like sport organisers have some sort of control over people's participation?

Several people on this thread have suggested some solutions e.g changing the way lessons are taken, or investment in period safe swimwear either by individuals or on a larger scale by more swimwear companies. It may well be there's a market for it, not just from girls but for women who don't or can't use internal protection.

I think it's an interesting debate like I said earlier I just presumed the OP was in the wrong but actually I think it raises interesting questions.

Wanting girls to participate more in sport is an aim of government, sporting bodies, health watchdogs, schools etc etc

To ignore this fairly obvious barrier and say, we'll that's life, put up or shut up, and reduce it to individual girls willingness / ability to use tampons will get us no where.

It is far easier to blame individual little girls for failing though, or their mothers for not shutting them in the bathroom with tubs of vaseline and telling them to get on with it or their activities are cancelled.

I can see that most on here are happy with that approach, which is fine.

I am less happy with it.

I don't know what the solution is but I certainly know it doesn't involve refusing to see that there is a problem.

No one is blaming girls though.

Maybe the government needs to fund sports so that there are no cost barriers to centres such that they can't offer greater flexibility? That also eradicates all of the kids currently not able to access any sports because it is too expensive for many.

There we are. Convince everyone to pay more taxes

Plenty of people on this thread are. Use tampons! Go in the pill! Get over yourself!

Hi OP
There are some menstrual cups designed for teens which might be worth considering. I have always hated tampons and rarely used them but then discovered menstrual cup which is great. Otherwise period proof swimwear would be an option.
It’s a shame that more girls aren’t doing regular sport and I’m sure periods are at least part of the reason for this. But having said that it’s good to encourage them that having periods shouldn’t stop them from doing what they enjoy. And if period pain / heaviness is the problem then there often are ways of improving that with medication

Look at the modibodi Red range