How would you feel about having a male midwide

[Lardlizard]

Just interested in the points of view

Then they are the type of midwife I wouldn’t want. being ‘heartbroken’ over a woman’s choice of bodily autonomy is not a wanted characteristic in someone who should be naturally empathetic.

Exactly.

MW are there in a supporting role.

Then it is a shame that more don't recognise it.

A midwife told me off for pushing my husband away while he was breathing on me during contractions. Some support she was!!!

It wasnt "aimed" at anyone as it was merley a question and clearly to "youngandfree*. They come across as very young and naive which is why I wondered. I think most people that have been through the birth process would be a bit more flexible in their thinking.

Then they are the type of midwife I wouldn’t want. being ‘heartbroken’ over a woman’s choice of bodily autonomy is not a wanted characteristic in someone who should be naturally empathetic.

^ this.

Yes, that's the point. A woman is terrified and vulnerable, doesn't mean men should step in, as that's no choice.

You were told how it would be, for fear of losing your baby. That's not whats bei g discussed.

This seems to be a common theme, that the man saved the day so yes to male MWs, but these are only being cited as reasons for male MWs over female when noones asking this.

If you are going to lose your baby or your own life you'll have the passing peado if you think it would save either of you!!

Choice goes out the window, and in comes gratitude to replace it.

I have just seen this is under the topic 'feminism' I'll just stop right there

Why are some PPs okay with male consultants (who sometimes have to deliver, stitch etc.) but not male midwives?

I never had a baby, so my opinion is a bit moot; having said that, some women would not like it and I uphold the right of every woman to choose.

I had a male midwife on my 3rd child he was absolutely amazing and the best midwife I ever had! I don't understand people reluctance if I am honest.

Are you just here to slag off women mouse? Or saying a male MW wouldn't have done that? As I'm not understanding your point.

Are you angry at female MWs and support male over and above them?

@calpop yes I have had two believe it or not!!

I’m sure you’ll be glad to see this as my last post. For the record I am in no way homophobic!! Again, everyone assuming that EVERY Male is abusive is what irked me. And YES statistically it is seen that way, but that does mean, that a man who has given his time to do nursing/midwifery has done so because he is some sort of a sexual predator etc etc

I had a family member who worked with vulnerable children and the amount of abusive women mentally and sexually out there is quite frightening too unfortunately.

@harrietkatie are you an “enemy” too!! 😂

I don't understand why some people don't have the capacity for empathy to understand why some women are uncomfortable with men performing intimate care on them? You don't have to choose it, you don't have to agree. But can you really not wrap your brains around it?

ohmydays when did you make that choice of a male over a female?

As we're not talking here about the merits or otherwise of individual MWs you understand.

In general I've found male HCPs to be rude and dismissive when I've gone to see them with anything related to my female biology.

A few years ago I'd probably have been happy for a male midwife, but with age comes experience and if I were to have another child I would specifically request a female midwife.

I think you're projecting. Nobody said all males are abusive. As a pp pointed out, if you have been abused by a single man you are likely to subconsciously or instinctively feel more comfortable with an obviously gay man. Makes fuck all difference sitting on a bus. Is kind of a big deal when you're naked, on all fours, pouring blood, shitting yourself and in excruciating pain!

Personally, I don't have an issue with it. To have a sex exemption seems extreme. Would this also apply to consultants? Surely being given the option to not have a male midwife present is sufficient?

I have had a male community midwife for all of my antenatal care. However, it was my choice and I chose him based on the location and timings of his clinics. He has been accompanied by a female HCA at all of my appointments.

It didn't bother me because I fell pregnant after over a year of fairly invasive fertility testing by a male consultant. However, I do believe that women's consent to intimate examinations is paramount, and their choices should not be overridden, unless life-threatening.

I had a male midwife, he was brilliant. I also had a male junior doctor there as part of his training, not involved, just observing.

Who cares? they are medical professionals.

Having a male midwife would not have been a problem at the time. The midwives with least empathy and concern were the women who had never given birth, though, so perhaps men would be at a disadvantage in the midwife role. I think women should have a free choice, not be forced to have a man there. And ultimately, I think we are going to have to be firm about protecting the aspects of life that apply to born women.

I think the biggest con was ‘Your husband should be present’. No. He should have been in a room at the far end of the corridor, waiting. That was my biggest regret, having him there.

Smotheroffive

Nope. I am here to support good midwives over bad ones. And to say that what determines a good vs bad midwife is not the presence of a vagina.

It is ridiculous to pretend that all female midwives are supportive and do a good job because that is simply not true.

I want a good hcp first and foremost. Just because I am female I do not want the first criteria when a hcp is allocated to me to be that they too are female, even if they are crap at their job. I want a competent hcp first and foremost.

Growing up you are very much used to separate intimate spaces from males- females use different toilet facilities, separate changing rooms, as we approach and go through puberty/start periods and so on it’s something we only discuss with our female friends and female relatives, we request female drs for intimate issues, a female nurse does our cervical smears, our STD testing and so on. So when you then go on to have a baby after years of this it can suddenly seem a bit unnatural to have males involved in intimate care, something that through your whole life had always been dominated by other females.

I want a good hcp first and foremost. Just because I am female I do not want the first criteria when a hcp is allocated to me to be that they too are female, even if they are crap at their job. I want a competent hcp first and foremost.

Good for you. Express that as your preference. I'm really not sure what your problem is.

You say, flippantly who cares anonymousbird

Have you read the thread, so why comment like this?

Clearly people do care.