How would you feel about having a male midwide

[Lardlizard]

Just interested in the points of view

I have no comprehension issues

Oh you do. You really do and I hope you can read back on the comments a bit more objectively some time, and learn. Posters have mentioned more than once, statistics. No one can argue with statistics and yet you're still coming out with 'I love the way you assume only men assault'.
For many women, it has nothing to do with fear of assault. A male midwife could be the best person for the job, sensitive, empathetic and professional. But some women will still feel viscerally uncomfortable with him. And that's fine! It's ok. We all have bodily autonomy. No one has a right to access to any of us especially when naked and vulnerable.

I was always cool with having men carry out medical procedures on me, as pp's have mentioned they all have the same training......then a few years back I went for a sexual health check and the Dr examining me made some very inappropriate comments whist he had his hand in me.
Needless to say my opinions have changed and I would feel incredibly uncomfortable having a man other than my partner near that end of my body.

People have their reasons for wanting females around them.

of course Id choose the male. But please note that in both these actual cases - my first and third births NHS hospitals, I actually had no choice at all about the incompetent, dangerous female midwife, who later "agreed to leave the profession" and only "lip-service" choice about the male midwife, who was very good, but at least I was asked the question I suppose.

I think this really is a much bigger question about NHS staffing levels and policy on how much choice women have over who attend their births (it should be more). I clearly remember begging the previous midwife to stay at the end of her shift when I saw the hungover one shuffling in and asked someone else not to have her and i was completely brushed off.

Have you ever been in labour? Thats a biological response and its not one that you can choose.
Why do you think female animals chase away males when they are in labour? Is it because they are biased?

This is exactly what I mean, and why women need protecting...thismummy and please don't tag me, its unnecessary.

I had a male midwife, he was very pleasant and professional. The majority of my midwife care was from women though and looking back, I'm happy about that.
My Mum had several operations for breast cancer, sometimes she saw the male consultant, sometimes the female. She definitely preferred seeing the female doctor.
I wonder if men feel the same way? If you were having treatment for a medical issue with your penis or other intimate area, would you prefer a male or female doctor or nurse?
I probably didn't think about this too much before, but there is a question around why men/women would choose to work with the opposite sex in certain disciplines. Although another part of me thinks that health issues for women would receive even less attention and investment if men had no interest in furthering it.

You seem to have misinterpreted me, I mean...

Smotheroffive
Well in my instance the male that delivered the baby was different.

But no, my point was directly answering the quote I gave - that female midwives are somehow in tune with women by virtue of their sex. It isn't true. Many female midwives are anything but in tune with their patients.

@titchy thanks for that. I genuinely know that we are separated because of who we are comfortable with. My first post was off the back of others comments about gay midwives , men gawping etc etc I KNOW why it is done and I understand that some women don’t want a male midwife (and should have the choice) But those comments from PPs weren’t necessary and neither were mine to be honest.

@harrietkatie thank you!!!

I am a neonatal nurse, and we have male midwifes, they would be heartbroken if they read some of these messages.

Well it’s not our job to prioritise their feelings when it comes to intimate personal and health care. I find the suggestion to be deeply deeply misogynistic. Secondly, nobody here has remotely suggested all man are sex offenders, so stop saying things nobody has mentioned. It is absolutely true almost all sex offenders are male, and I don’t know about you, but I can’t tell by looking at them. So women set personal boundaries and making us feel bad with emotional manipulation is a shit thing to do. Would you rather a woman say yes to something she finds horrendous and uncomfortable?

I didn't mind at all.

He was very confident and comforting.

DP wasn't impressed but I didn't care.

I am a neonatal nurse, and we have male midwifes, they would be heartbroken if they read some of these messages

Women aren't responsible for men's feelings. They have chosen to go into a profession that involves the female anatomy and extremely intimate care, which includes women having to discuss personal issues such as previous abortions, DV etc. Also physically intimate care such as internal exams and breastfeeding support. They ought to be aware that some women won't want them and have the ability to empathise with the reasons why. If they can't do that, and would be 'heartbroken' at women firmly asserting their boundaries, then they have no business being anywhere near patients.

@Smotheroffive BUT I don’t!! Maybe I phrased it all wrong!! My point was ppl were assuming that a male would gawp.... assuming he is sexually oriented that way!! But yet it’s ok if he is gay...🙄

If you look at the perpetrators of violence on females, straight men are right at the top. That's why women are often more comfortable with gay men.

I had male drs involved in one of my births and, whilst I was obviously thankful to have access to that medical care, I must say that having males present did make it feel a lot more undignified and uncomfortable. I can’t help feeling that way. As I’ve said before I wouldn’t want to turn up for a smear and see a male nurse and I do believe numbers of women attending smears would drop dramatically if they suddenly swapped to all-male nurses performing them.

Totally missing the point still. Have you ever given birth?

Some valiant efforts from PPs but that poster's comprehension problems are so severe that you're wasting your time.

This. Probably best to ignore.

Wow... everyone has their own personal opinion. No I haven't once suggested that, at all. I'm just putting my point across like many others on here.

I still think it is generalising males. What are the other reasons women do not want a male midwife?

Yes, because a women knows her own body, but some female midwives haven't even given birth themselves. So they've had as much training as males. Yes I understand women feeling uncomfortable if it is about culture and religion. I also understand if someone has been sexually assaulted.

But men can be just as caring and sensitive if it's that side??

I am a neonatal nurse, and we have male midwifes, they would be heartbroken if they read some of these messages

Then they are the type of midwife I wouldn’t want. being ‘heartbroken’ over a woman’s choice of bodily autonomy is not a wanted characteristic in someone who should be naturally empathetic.

Men traditionally got complete control of labouring women (and vast amounts of money) whenever they were involved as a gynae, or even GP, who also used to be mostly men.
Women can stop labouring around men! Needing interventions! Who wants to fight for that!?

What choice is it when you're in an emergency situation, thats no choice.

There should always be proper choice.

A lot of things have happened to a lot of women that they couldn't stop, or speak out about.

It's not about sexual attraction its about criminality.

Women should be coerced into denying the feeling they have of safety around other women that they don't around men

I'm trying to think of a species of mammal where the female tolerates being around males while they give birth.

And if that is aimed at me, yes I have given birth. To a son who was 28weeks gestation and the doctor who delivered was a male! And I did not care whatsoever as my son was in critical condition. I would put that over anything.

I also wouldn't want those frailale MWs who put their feelz above the woman and her baby that are the actual centre of this.

MW are there in a supporting role.

While we’re on the subject I actually think that midwifery is a profession that the sex exemptions should be applied to.

I also object to males on maternity wards overnight.

It’s all an assault on female boundaries.