How would you feel about having a male midwide

[Lardlizard]

Just interested in the points of view

Forgot to add, he made me the best cup of tea first. Then he went to ring his mum. Priorities!

Youngandfree

Do you know the stats around male sexual offences against women, including in the medical profession? And anyway, what's wrong with wanting someone with a female body to assist with a procedure that is by its very definition 'female'.

Ppl making it about males looking at females sexually stroked that question in me

Can you point out those posts please because I haven't seen them? And yes actually comparing lesbians to men is homophobic. Lesbians are women.

I had to go to theatre straight after DS was born for repair of a tear. The surgeon (and most of the theatre team) were male. Being in theatre wasn't a great experience but I didn't mind the surgeon was male- I wasn't offered a choice of surgeon. Those of you saying you wouldn't like a male midwife, how would you feel about this?

I did see a male midwife when DS was two weeks old, he only checked the baby, not me. He was great.

One thing I didn't like was when DS was 6 days old the midwife came to do the checks bringing a male med student with her. I was in the loo or something when they arrived so missed introductions and didn't know why he was there. I was asked to feed in front of him and felt really uncomfortable but didn't feel I could say anything. Would be interested in what others think about this?

We have also been conditioned to accept males probing our bodies.

@Smotheroffive yes it’s a weird post...as weird as the ops question to me!! It’s a non issue!!

Young it's a non-issue FOR YOU.

I'm not bothered really. It felt like the whole bloody hospital saw my fanny when I had both of my kids, men and women. But there were lots of people there and I was off my head a bit and didn't care. A smear test I would want a woman I think.

I totally understand women who only want female midwives for whatever reason, and should be allowed to ask for that. And I mean female not 'male who identifies as female'.

But thinking about it, I do know of a male midwife and he is gay. I think I’d be more comfortable with him

First quote I found!!

OP not about sexual attraction, yours is

I wouldn't want to be left alone in a room at a most vulnerable time with a male having access whenever to touch and do whatever. Not in labour no.

Second quote!

Yes because some women don't want men to touch them intimately. That's perfectly normal and nothing to do with lesbians.

With DD2 I had a student male midwife who worked alongside the female midwife. They were both lovely and caring. Which is more than can be said for the weird and rude female anaesthetist who showed up. Depends on individuals I guess.

The male midwife looked sort of fragile. I nearly broke his arm I was holding it so tightly. When it was all over I felt the need to apologise to him for yelling the place down and dirtying the sheets!

A male obstretician helped with the delivery of DD1, and I've had a male gynaecologist. I didn't feel nervous about this but I can see that some might, especially if they give off "creepy" vibes or don't seem to care.

It did feel a bit weird though when another male midwife explained breastfeeding, pointing to his own chest as he did so...

You don't have much of a voice in labour and its frequently taken advantage of with 'teams' of men turning up for a gawp.

Third... need I go on!! I didn’t MAKE it about sexuality... everyone else actually is without saying it per se!! They are assuming that ALL men are out to “gawp” at them, make them and take advantage!! Because...they are assuming that they are bloody attracted in the first place!!!

Honestly? I'm pushing a baby out my hooha - I couldn't care less who is helping me, as long as they're good at their job, and get me and baby safely through it.

Too many women are treating the sexist world and his wife to fanny viewings, and its very bad practice. Women in labour have commonly been disregarded, their dignity and privacy, and expected to put up and shut up, refused pain relief no man would be, etc

Your wording was ridiculous- revelling in looking at the body sexually etc. Nobody has said that. What some have said is that men pose more of a risk which is just factual. Some women have histories of abuse, some women are religious, hell some women just feel more comfortable with other women when they are at their most vulnerable. Or do you not agree with women's right to consent when it comes to healthcare? And lesbians are not a statistical risk to other women. Men are.

Both men and women have a choice on who provides this type of intimate care

They really don't. Men have no choice due to numbers of female nurses vs male nurses. My dad was in hospital for a week and there were no male nurses on the ward.

I was in for 7 nights a couple of weeks ago - no male nurses and it was a mixed ward so male patients as well as female. So no choice there for men who needed intimate care.

They are assuming that ALL men are out to “gawp” at them,
No thats not what people are saying.
In a situation where there is a risk, you take steps to reduce the risk, such as providing male staff with a chaperone or excluding them.

That'snot sexual comment, its bad practice and ignoring dignity

@Smotheroffive but it is by you stating that he was gay and you are ok with that makes me believe that you are only ok with it because you are assured he is not interested in “gawping” at you or taking advantage!! If you were given the option of only two male midwives and you didn’t know their sexuality off hand would you be asking them?? I think not!!

Youngandfree

Bringing lesbians into this is disgusting and comparing them to men nonsensical. Stop minimising women’s very valid discomforts and fears. Your posts are rude and show a clear inability to understand why women, and men, might prefer members of the same sex for intimidate care.

@Youngandfree it’s obviously not a non issue if lots of women are saying they’d decline a male midwife It’s a non issue for YOU. You can’t force your views or feelings on other women. Some women have a history of violence from men and would find ir traumatic being treated by men medically. Some women have different religious views. Take your ignorant views elsewhere.

Youngandfree

Women are allowed to object to Male midwives for whatever reason they see fit!!! It’s called bodily autonomy!!

I view arguing against women’s bodily autonomy as rape culture!!

There was a post on here a long while ago from a woman who had lived with Male medical students, it was deeply depressing.

Is lesbians assaulting vulnerable women a common thing? No? So why are you comparing lesbians to men then?